


How Many Crows Does It Take To Screw In a Lightbulb?

by SecretMaker



Series: Poly Karasuno Fics [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Mild to moderate homophobia, Multi, Mutual Pining, One slow burn after another, Poly Karasuno, Tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-06-24 15:10:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 65,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15633237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretMaker/pseuds/SecretMaker
Summary: AKA The Great Poly Karasuno Getting-Together FicDaichi has a plan, a plan to get the entire Karasuno Volleyball Club together in one big polyfidelitous pile. His only problem? Tsukishima Kei.Tsukishima has a plan, a plan to make it through his three years at Karasuno high school without becoming a walking human disaster. His only problem? Sawamura Daichi.Together, the two of them bring together more than a team - they create a family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A big help to [Catt](http://cattatonically.tumblr.com) for all her help on this one, and to [Ezzy](http://ezzydean.tumblr.com) for being my number one cheerleader as always.

Tsukishima Kei was a certifiable mess of a human being. Literally. There were doctor’s notes and medications and empirical proof that he was fucked up six ways from Sunday. Coming to Karasuno was supposed to be a new start, a fresh beginning away from all the shit he’d gone through in middle school. Instead, Kei found things getting worse.

 

It could all be traced back to Daichi. Kei’s problems had started the first time he’d gone to meet the captain of the volleyball team and found himself charmed by a crooked smile and a sweet, boy-next-door face. He’d maintained his cool facade all through handing over his paperwork and exchanging vague pleasantries, all the way up until Daichi had grinned at him so wide his eyes had scrunched shut. It was a smile meant just for Kei, and the quip about needing more height on the team he sent Kei’s way.

 

That was the moment Kei was utterly and completely screwed.

 

“Remember how I said I wasn’t going to be a gay disaster this year?” he asked Yamaguchi as they walked home together that evening. Yamaguchi looked at him curiously.

 

“Failed step one?” he asked. Kei nodded. “Who was it?”

 

Kei knew better than to tell Yamaguchi. But regardless of how stupid it was, he found himself blushing and saying, “The captain.” He refused to meet Yamaguchi’s eye.

 

“He was cute,” Yamaguchi hummed. “I think the vice captain’s prettier though.”

 

“He was pretty,” Kei admitted. “They were all attractive in one way or another. But there was something about the captain that just…” he trailed off, not wanting to get poetic.

 

Months later, poetry was all Kei could think of.

 

“This burger,” he said solemnly, “is my life.”

 

“Tsukki, what the fuck are you talking about?” Yamaguchi asked around a mouthful of fries. Kei held up the burger for Yamaguchi to see.

 

“Look at it,” he said. “There’s no way it’ll all fit in my mouth. It’s too huge. Too complicated. That’s what my life is like. If I try to take a bite out of the burger, I’ll make a mess.”

 

“Tsukki, it’s a burger,” Yamaguchi said. “It’s not supposed to be anything but messy. That’s part of why it tastes so good.”

 

“You’re not understanding the metaphor,” Kei insisted. “If I try to take a bite out of the burger, if I try to make sense of this mess, all I’ll end up doing is embarrassing myself.”

 

“Is this about Daichi-san again?” Yamaguchi asked, sounding exhausted.

 

“Everything is about Daichi-san,” Kei replied.

 

“Okay…” Yamaguchi looked from Kei to his burger, thinking. “Well, maybe you’ll make a mess, and maybe it’ll be complicated and embarrassing and all those things you think it’ll be, but how else are you going to enjoy the burger? That’s what burgers are for, you know, to be eaten.”

 

“I’m not hungry,” Kei said, setting the burger down. Yamaguchi put down his fries and glared at Kei. Kei ducked his head.

 

He considered the meal spread out in front of him. He had so many options to chose from, but he knew what he wanted. He’d known since that first day on the team. If Yamaguchi was to believed, all he had to do was reach out and take it, no matter the consequences.

 

Yamaguchi had never been wrong before…

 

Kei scooped up his burger and took a bite. Yamaguchi glanced up at him and giggled. “Tsukki, you’ve got a little-” He tapped the side of his mouth. Kei rolled his eyes and dabbed his lips with a napkin. He took a deep breath through his nose and made his decision.

 

-

 

“Captain, can I talk to you in private?” Daichi looked up from his conversation with Suga to see Tsukishima standing a few feet away, his fingers laced together. He was beautiful in the pale light of morning, gnawing on the inside of his lip. His hair was tousled and his glasses slipping down his slender nose. Daichi’s heart stopped in his chest, then started beating double time as he nodded. Suga elbowed him and he elbowed Suga back, grinning as he jogged after Tsukishima to a secluded corner outside the gym.

 

“What’s up, Tsukishima?” Daichi asked. Tsukishima fiddled with his fingers some more and all at once it hit Daichi. This was the moment he had been waiting for for months now, and Tsukishima had come to it all on his own. Daichi had been certain that he would have to be the one to ask Tsukishima out, not the other way around. But he was more than happy to be wrong this time.

 

Tsukishima took a deep breath and seemed for a moment to reconsider. Then he shook his head and looked Daichi straight in the eye, the same glint in his gaze that he had when facing down an opponent he particularly wanted to destroy. It sent a shiver up Daichi’s spine. “Daichi-san,” Tsukishima said. “Will you go out with me?”

 

Daichi had known it was coming. He’d had conversations, long, complicated ones, with Suga at three in the morning. They had hashed out what direction the team was pointed like a cannon waiting for a spark to its fuse. They knew where the team was headed, and they knew it had to start with one of them, and with Tsukishima.

 

“He’ll leave himself behind,” Suga had said when they had discussed which of their teammates they should ask out first. “He’ll find a way, you know he will. And then he’ll be miserable, and we’ll all be left without him.”

 

Still, nothing could have prepared Daichi for the moment when Tsukishima actually asked him out. The pounding of his heart, the stutter in his fingers, the bite behind his eyes that felt suspiciously like tears. The way Tsukishima looked so sweetly anxious, like he knew Daichi was going to reject him and was just waiting for him to get it over with. Daichi grinned.

 

“Of course I will,” he said.

 

“I understand,” Tsukishima said, inclining his head, then stopped. “What?” he whispered.

 

“I said I’ll go out with you,” Daichi said. “You were serious when you asked me, right?”

 

“Yes, but I never- You don’t- _Why_?” Daichi smiled and reached forward to take one of Tsukishima’s hands in his own. A _very_ attractive blush spread across Tsukishima’s cheeks and Daichi felt his smile soften.

 

“Because I like you,” he said. “Because I’ve liked you for quite some time now. I was actually going to ask you out myself, I just never worked up the guts to do it.”

 

“You- What?” Tsukishima stuttered. “Why would you like me?” he demanded. Then his eyes went clear and a wall shuttered closed behind them. “Oh, I see,” he said. “Good joke. Very funny. Now, if you’ll excuse me-” He tried to take his hand back, but Daichi held fast.

 

“It’s not a joke, Tsukishima,” he said. “I like you. I may even love you. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to you.”

 

Tsukishima looked like he was going to argue, then his shoulders slumped. He looked around as though checking for spying teammates. Then he looked back at Daichi with something small and honest in his eyes. “Why me, though?” he asked. “Why not someone better, someone like-”

 

“Someone like who?” Daichi interrupted. “There’s no one better than you, Tsukishima. There may be people who are your equal, but there’s no one I like more. There’s no one I’d rather be with.”

 

“What about Sugawara-san?” Tsukishima asked. “Or Asahi-san. Someone on your level, not some skinny first year like me.”

 

“Maybe I like skinny first years,” Daichi said. He looked down at their joined hands, running a thumb over Tsukishima’s knuckles. “Maybe everything I like about you outweighs everything else right now.”

 

“Right now,” Tsukishima said, looking down. Daichi raised his free hand to cup Tsukishima’s cheek, urging him to look up at him.

 

“Right now’s all that matters,” he said. “Right now, there’s just you and me. So. Will you be my boyfriend, Tsukishima?”

 

“I’m the one who asked you that.” The snark in Tsukishima’s voice was halfhearted at best. Daichi smiled.

 

“Well then,” he said. “I suppose that’s settled. Now get your ass back into the gym and stretch out.”

 

“Yes, captain,” said Tsukishima with a suppressed smile. Daichi let his hand drop and he wandered around the corner toward the gym doors. Daichi leaned against the wall and held the hand that had been holding Tsukishima’s to his chest. He smiled.

 

~~-~~

 

Kei woke the morning of his first date with Daichi with cobwebs in his head. He would have just rolled over and gone back to sleep, except that his therapist had told him that one days like this it was important that he be around people. Even if people made his skin crawl on average and mildly irritated him at best. People would pull him out of his head, would make him eat, would help him be okay. Daichi would help him be okay.

 

So instead of rolling over and going back to sleep like he wanted to, he pulled himself out of bed and fumbled around for his glasses. If only because he didn’t want to deal with his therapist’s disappointed glare and lecture on the benefits of opening up to friends the next time he saw her.

 

Daichi wasn’t arriving until noon, so he had the entire morning stretching ahead of him unattractively. Kei had always been a morning person, no matter how hard he tried to sleep in on his worst days. He shuffled down to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He stared at its contents for a moment before the switch flipped in his brain and he closed the door to stare at Yamaguchi instead.

 

“I’m taking your key away,” he threatened. Yamaguchi swallowed his mouthful of rice and grinned.

 

“No you’re not,” he said. “Your mom made breakfast, but she said she’s gonna be out all day. I saved you a plate.”

 

“How thoughtful,” Kei droned. Yamaguchi grinned wider and patted the counter beside him. Kei rolled his eyes and hopped up into place, accepting a plate from Yamaguchi.

 

“So what’s the plan for today?” Yamaguchi asked. Kei poked at his fish and bit the inside of his lip. He hadn’t told Yamaguchi about any of this, terrified that it would fall apart as soon as he said anything. But he was being ridiculous, as usual. So he took a deep breath.

 

“I have a date with Daichi-san at noon,” he said.

 

“O-oh,” Yamaguchi said, blinking. “I didn’t know. Sorry.”

 

Kei shrugged. “I didn’t tell you,” he said.

 

Yamaguchi cocked his head to one side. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in that tone of voice he got when he wanted Kei to know that it was okay not to answer him, but that he wouldn’t offer judgment for whatever answer Kei did offer. Kei grimaced.

 

“Because I don’t know how long it will last,” he said. “He asked me to be his boyfriend, but I don’t think he has any idea what he’s getting himself into. No one wants to deal with this mess for the rest of their life.”

 

“I’m sure there are people out there who would kill to have a chance to deal with that mess,” Yamaguchi said. Kei rolled his eyes.

 

“You sound like my mom,” he said.

 

“Good. Your mom is awesome.” Kei shoved Yamaguchi in the shoulder and he laughed. “No, but seriously, what makes you think Daichi-san doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing? He’s not the type to just dive into things on a whim, you know.”

 

“I know,” Kei sighed. “But you know me.”

 

“I do know you, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said. “I know you better than anyone. And I know that you’re going to be just fine today.”

 

“You can’t know that,” Kei said. “You’re not clairvoyant.”

 

“Sure I am,” Yamaguchi said with a cheesy grin. It made Kei feel better in spite of himself. Yamaguchi often had that effect on him. “Come on,” Yamaguchi said, slapping Kei on the thigh. “Finish your breakfast and we’ll do homework or something boring like that to make you feel better. By the time Daichi-san shows up you’ll be so bored out of your skull you’ll almost feel normal again.”

 

“My hero,” Kei droned, then took another bite of his fish. It was nice, spending time with Yamaguchi like this. It almost made him forget his anxiety about what was coming later that day. Almost. He finished his breakfast and followed Yamaguchi up to his room where math notes and chemistry exercises were spread out like an offering on his desk.

 

He lost himself in numbers. Equations and formulas and measurements floated through his head like a ballet. They spent hours there, Kei helping Yamaguchi through the tougher stoichiometry problems and Yamaguchi feeding Kei algebra like it was candy. They completely lost track of time until there came a knock on the front door. Kei froze.

 

“Oh, Daichi-san’s here,” Yamaguchi said, sounding vaguely surprised as he looked down at his watch. “I guess we’ve been at this for a while.” Kei remained frozen. “Tsukki?”

 

“Go tell him to go away,” Kei whispered. “I can’t do this.”

 

“You can,” Yamaguchi replied. “Listen to me, Tsukki. You’re going to get dressed, and I’m going to go downstairs. When you’re dressed, you’re going to come down and go on your date with Daichi-san, and you’re going to have a great time. Do you understand me?”

 

“I can’t do this,” Kei repeated. All at once Yamaguchi threw his arms around Kei’s neck. There was another, more tentative knock.

 

“Get dressed,” Yamaguchi ordered, untangling himself from Kei and rushing out of the room.

 

It took a moment or two for Kei to unstick himself from the floor and drag himself over to his dresser. He pulled on the first things his hands touched, a long sleeved white t shirt and a dark pair of jeans. He got tangled in the t shirt for a moment, but not long enough to delay the inevitable. It felt like mere seconds before he was dressed and standing with his hand on the doorknob. He could hear Yamaguchi and Daichi talking downstairs. They would both be disappointed in him if he stayed up there, he knew. Then he knew the opposite, that they would both understand, though they might be disappointed in the situation. He thought of his therapist’s pitying face if he screwed this up and took a deep breath. He opened the door.

 

Daichi was standing at the base of the stairs, laughing at something Yamaguchi had said. As Kei stepped onto the top step, he looked up and time seemed to slow. Kei had never been one to put stock into fairy tales and stories of happy-ever-after, but in that moment he thought he understood what they were about. Because Daichi was looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world, and Kei almost believed him. Except that Daichi was standing there, clearly much more beautiful than Kei could ever be.

 

“Hi,” Daichi breathed when Kei got to the bottom step.

 

“Hi,” Kei replied. For a long time they just stared at each other. Then Yamaguchi moved and they both remembered he was there.

 

“We should get going,” Daichi said.

 

“Y-yeah,” Kei stuttered.

 

“I’m just gonna hang out until my homework’s done, Tsukki, so if I’m not here when you get back don’t freak out, okay?” He said it quietly, so that Daichi couldn’t hear him. Kei nodded and Yamaguchi slipped past him and up the stairs. Kei took a deep breath and turned back to Daichi.

 

“Let’s go,” he said softly. Daichi held out his hand and Kei took it with hardly a thought. Then he realized what he had done and started to blush. He stormed out of the house, Daichi laughing softly at him the entire time.

 

Daichi took Kei to the bookstore that had just opened up, the one with the coffee shop that was the talk of the town, according to Yamaguchi. It was better than a restaurant, but the thought of the little cafe still turned Kei’s stomach.

 

When Kei’s anorexia had been diagnosed the year before, he had almost thought it was a joke. He didn’t starve himself. He ate, just less than most of his classmates. He just didn’t like eating in front of other people. That was common enough, right? Even now, with nearly a year of recovery under his belt, the thought of eating in front of _Daichi,_ in front of his _first boyfriend_ made him uncomfortable.

 

First boyfriend. Kei’s boyfriend. His _boyfriend._ He turned the word over and over in his mind, feeling shivery and not-quite-real. All of a sudden it was easier to push the sickness down, to focus on something other than his anxiety over eating. Now he could focus on an entirely different kind of anxiety.

 

Daichi had been talking, some story about Asahi and a baby duck and a lobster tank, but now he was quiet. He brushed his thumb over Kei’s knuckles and Kei felt like the worst human being on the face of the planet.

 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. Daichi shook his head.

 

“Yamaguchi told me you weren’t feeling well today,” he said. “He also told me it would be better to go ahead with this date than to cancel it, but if he was wrong then I have no problem turning around and going home. I just want you to be comfortable.”

 

“I’m not… uncomfortable,” Kei said, though they both knew it was a lie. “Sorry,” he said again.

 

Daichi was quiet for a moment. They reached the bookstore and stood outside, Daichi considering the sign above the door and Kei considering the ground at their feet. Then Daichi snorted. “I wasn’t going to say this in case it freaked you out, but I live not far from here. We can go back to my place and have a quiet day in, instead of doing this, if that makes you more comfortable.”

 

“What is it with you and making me comfortable?” Kei asked. “I’m not a dog you’re putting to sleep.” Daichi just laughed and tugged on Kei’s hand, setting off down the street once more.

 

Daichi’s house was on the smaller side, but nicely kept up. It reminded Kei of the Yamaguchis’, the kind of place where everything broken was patched together with tender love and laughter. As they approached the gate, the front door flew open and two elementary-aged children came flying out. They threw themselves at Daichi who caught them, laughing and lifting them into the air. Kei found himself admiring the strength it must have taken to do that, then looked away with a flush warming his cheeks.

 

“Daichi-nii, who’s this?” asked the little girl, peering at Kei curiously. Daichi laughed, sweet and loud enough to make Kei’s heart do an odd little thump in his chest.

 

“This is my friend from the volleyball team,” Daichi said. Kei bridled at the thought of being called Daichi’s friend. It hadn’t slipped his notice that Daichi had taken his hand out of Kei’s when they approached the house, though he figured it could have been due to the children literally throwing themselves at him. “Tsukishima Kei. Tsukishima, these are my little monsters, Yuna and Hiroto.”

 

“Pleased to meet you,” Kei said. Suddenly it clicked. Daichi wasn’t out to his family. To them, Kei really was just a friend from the volleyball team. He smiled, a sickly sweet thing.

 

“Pleased to meet you too,” said Hiroto, bowing. Yuna was still clinging to Daichi and watching Kei with an analytical light in her eyes that Kei both recognized and despised.

 

“All right you two, go find someone else to bug,” Daichi said fondly as he detached Yuna from his chest. He grabbed Kei by the elbow and led him into the house. Kei barely had time to slip off his shoes and mumble a ‘pardon the intrusion’ before Daichi was tugging him down a hallway and closing a bedroom door behind them. “Sorry about them,” Daichi said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He was adorable, Kei decided.

 

“It’s all right,” Kei murmured, stepping closer to Daichi. Daichi blushed and let his hand drop to his side. Kei reached out for it, twining their fingers together. Daichi’s blush got darker. Kei decided he really liked that color on him, then leaned down and kissed him.

 

It was a simple kiss. It was an awkward kiss. It was a wonderful kiss. It was Kei’s first kiss.

 

He was pretty sure it was Daichi’s first kiss, too.

 

When he pulled away, Daichi was watching him with half-lidded eyes that swirled with desire and something Kei couldn’t quite name. Something he liked very much.

 

“Lock the door,” Kei murmured, his breath fanning across Daichi’s cheek as he leaned in to press a kiss to the side of Daichi’s neck.

 

“Tsukishima, I-” Daichi cut himself off suddenly. He clung to Kei like he was drowning in him.

 

“Daichi.” Kei brushed his lips up to press against Daichi’s earlobe. “Lock. The. Door.”

 

Daichi shivered in Kei’s grasp, then moved to do as he was told. As soon as the lock clicked into place, Kei realized what he had done and found himself very, very nervous. He pushed the nervousness aside and reached out for Daichi, drowning his jitters in the outdoorsy scent of him. Daichi met him halfway with a kiss that made up for its inexperience with its passion. He reached up to curl his fingers in Kei’s hair and moaned against Kei’s mouth. Kei slipped his tongue between Daichi’s lips, and suddenly he couldn’t pretend anymore. But it was too late. Daichi was already backing them up and Kei’s knees were hitting the bed, and then his back was hitting the mattress and Daichi was crawling on top of him and-

 

“Wait,” Kei gasped, putting his hands on Daichi’s chest. He scrambled for an excuse. “Your siblings-”

 

“They won’t bother us,” growled Daichi, leaning in to latch his lips onto Kei’s neck. The feeling forced a cry out of Kei, a stirring in his belly battling with his anxiety until he was a mess of confusion.

 

“No, wait,” he managed, and Daichi sat back instantly. He cocked his head to one side, then held out a hand. Kei took it and let Daichi pull him upright until they were sitting on the edge of the bed, Daichi pretty much sprawled in Kei’s lap, just watching each other.

 

“Are you okay?” he murmured, reaching out to stroke a thumb along Kei’s cheekbone.

 

“I’m fine,” Kei lied. Daichi smiled knowingly at him. “I’m nervous,” he admitted.

 

“It’s okay to be nervous,” Daichi said. “We probably shouldn’t go that fast right now, anyway. This is our first date after all.” Kei nodded, slumping forward into Daichi’s chest. Daichi’s arms came up around him, hands stroking his back and curling through his hair. “How about we watch a movie or something?” Daichi asked. Kei nodded, feeling miserable. He had already ruined their date twice that day, and Daichi had been nothing but accommodating. He settled in where Daichi pointed him at the head of the bed, waiting for Daichi to choose a movie and feeling like the worst human being on the face of the planet.

 

The thing was, he had enjoyed the kissing. More than enjoyed it. He had wanted it, yearned for it with every fiber of his being. But he knew he wasn’t ready for what came after, not yet. And leading Daichi on when he was so hesitant would be the worst thing he could do. He may have been an asshole, but he wasn’t that much of a monster.

 

“Hey, Tsukishima?” Daichi asked, sitting on the bed next to Kei. He set his laptop down on the mattress and curled his arms around his knees. “This is awkward, but, well. You’re not freaking out, are you?”

 

“Why would I be freaking out?” Kei asked, monotone.

 

“Oh, god, you are,” Daichi said. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have let it go that far. I just really liked kissing you. I don’t want you to think I want anything from you you’re not willing to give, or that I’m some sort of pervert who wants to go all the way on the first date or anything like that. If you don’t want to do this anymore, I totally understand, but I really like you, and- and-” Daichi cut off, his words failing him. “Sorry,” he said again, looking down. Kei thought that he had never looked so young, so much like a teenager and not an adult. It was hard to remember, with all the cool authority and warm encouragement that Daichi put out, that he was only two years older than Kei. Kei reached for his hand. He grit his teeth and forced himself to be honest.

 

“I really liked kissing you too,” he mumbled. “I really wanted to do it, and to keep doing it. But I don’t think I’m ready for… anything else. And I didn’t want you thinking that I was leading you on.”

 

“So, if I promise not to let it get out of hand, can I kiss you again?” Daichi asked, his eyes filling with something like hope. Kei snorted.

 

“You can kiss me even if it does get out of hand. Just. Nothing more than kissing?” Daichi nodded eagerly, looking like a puppy shown his favorite toy. Kei laughed under his breath and leaned in to kiss Daichi.

 

Daichi let out a noise something like a whine and angled his head to press into the kiss. Kei threaded his fingers through Daichi’s short dark hair and cautiously opened his lips. Daichi responded in kind, and all at once they were back where they started, tongues exploring each other’s mouths in a tangled, awkward dance that made fireworks go off under Kei’s skin. He leaned back, urging Daichi to lean down on top of him.

 

Making out, Kei decided, was a very good use of his time with Daichi. A use he would be sure to partake in as often as the chance arose. Then Daichi made a broken little noise in the back of his throat and Kei decided it was time to stop deciding things and start enjoying them instead.

 

So he did.

 

-

 

Tsukishima came home three and a half hours after he left with Daichi, a perfectly reasonable amount of time for a date. Tadashi reminded himself that everything that had happened today was to be expected, and that nothing was as earth-shattering as it seemed to him.

 

The way Tsukishima’s lips were swollen and pink and his hair was tousled made Tadashi want to curl up in a ball and cry.

 

He slapped on a smile when Tsukishima came through Tadashi’s bedroom door, setting his pencil down and sliding his books to one side. Tsukishima sat on the other side of the table, staring down at its surface. He said nothing.

 

“So…?” Tadashi prompted. “How’d it go?”

 

Then the most remarkable thing happened. A blush spread across Tsukishima’s face, from his ears down his neck under his collar. Tsukishima hid his face in his hands and whined. Tadashi’s heart thudded unevenly in his chest at the sight.

 

“I really, really like him,” he whispered. Tadashi’s heart shattered in his chest.

 

“I’m glad, Tsukki,” Tadashi said, his voice never giving any evidence that he was anything other than happy for his best friend. “I’m really glad. I told you it would work out between you two.”

 

“No, Yamaguchi, you don’t understand,” Tsukishima said. He dropped his hands in his lap and stared up at the ceiling. “I like him so much. Like, everything inside me wants to be with him. Wants to hold his hand, and kiss him, and just. Be with him. Be beside him and listen to him talk, about the dumbest things. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

 

Tadashi’s world was crumbling around him, but he kept on smiling. “Tsukki, it sounds like you’re in love,” he teased. Tsukishima’s blush got deeper.

 

“I don’t know if I would say that,” he said. “But… maybe someday. Maybe someday soon.”

 

“I think it’ll be sooner than you realize,” Tadashi said, picking up his pencil. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “By the way, Kageyama’s coming over in about fifteen minutes, so unless you want to share cloud nine with him, you might want to skedaddle.” Tsukishima’s expression dropped just slightly. Tadashi let himself feel a little bad about that, but only a little. After all, he had a life outside of Tsukishima, no matter what his mom or his friends or his stupid little heart thought.

 

Tsukishima sat in silence with him for a few minutes, and Tadashi knew him well enough by now to tell that he was simply enjoying a life well lived. It was such a turnaround from that morning that Tadashi couldn’t even be upset with Tsukishima for ruining his own good mood. When ten minutes had ticked by and Tadashi had finished setting up for the day’s tutoring session, Tsukishima stood and made his goodbyes. Tadashi could hear him saying goodbye to his mother, and then the front door opening and closing, and then nothing at all. He waited a few heartbeats to make sure he was well and truly alone, then burst into tears.

 

That was where Kageyama found him a few minutes later, curled up in a ball on his bedroom floor and sobbing. He didn’t say anything, just closed the door and sat awkwardly next to him. Tadashi slumped into his side with a quiet wail and he wrapped his arms loosely around Tadashi’s shoulders.

 

“Tsukishima?” Kageyama asked. It was all the prompting Tadashi needed to explain the entire thing, the date with Daichi, the way Tsukishima had come home kiss-drunk and giddy, the way Tadashi’s heart felt too big for his chest and three sizes too small all at the same time. Kageyama said nothing, just sat and listened and let Tadashi cry his heart out. When the tears were dry, Kageyama was still there, and Tadashi felt like a monster.

 

“I’m sorry,” Tadashi said, scrubbing his face with his sleeve. “I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you.”

 

“You’re fine,” Kageyama said, cocking his head in that way he did when he didn’t understand why someone said what they said. Tadashi shook his head and smiled, neither able nor willing at that moment to explain to Kageyama why it was so shitty of him to unload like that. Especially when Kageyama wasn’t even aware of the crush he had on Tadashi. He would have to come to that knowledge on his own, not with Tadashi’s guidance.

 

“Sorry,” Tadashi said again. “You came to review that English lesson, right?”

 

“I did,” Kageyama said. “But you’re more important than my English grade. Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Tadashi said. Kageyama cocked his head again.

 

“Why are you lying?” he asked, not in accusation, but out of curiosity. Tadashi chuckled humorlessly.

 

“Because I want it to be true,” he said. “Because I want to be fine, and I want you to be fine, and I want this whole thing to be over. But we don’t always get what we want, and that’s fine. All we can do is move on.”

 

“It’s okay to be upset,” Kageyama said. “I would be too if someone I liked went on a date with someone else.”

 

“Well,” Tadashi said, a wry smile crossing his face, “there’s little fear of that.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kageyama asked.

 

“Nothing.” Tadashi didn’t have the energy to explain, and really there was too much going on in his head to sort out his own feelings, let alone Kageyama’s.

 

“I don’t really feel like studying.” It was an invitation, Tadashi knew. An invitation he was far too tempted to take.

 

“We really should…” he said, but Kageyama was already moving, scooping up the study materials scattered across the table and taking them over to Tadashi’s desk. Tadashi watched him set up the gaming system across the room like he owned the place, and couldn’t help but smile. “All right,” he said, dropping his pencil and throwing his hands dramatically into the air. “You win. No studying today.”

 

“Hooray,” Kageyama said without inflection. Tadashi snorted, scooting around the table to come sit in front of the tv with Kageyama. He took the controller Kageyama offered him and settled in to let himself be cheered up.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Boyfriend or no, Yamaguchi was still Kei’s favorite person on the planet. It was easy with Yamaguchi, easier than with anyone else he had ever met. Yamaguchi understood him, in ways no one ever had - even his own family. Yamaguchi had been the first person Kei had come out to, first as bisexual and then as polyamorous. He still hadn’t told anyone else about the poly bit, and wasn’t really planning to anytime soon.

 

But the thing was, Kei was beginning to wonder if he really was polyamorous. Did it count if it was only in theory, and not in practice? He supposed it did, since he was still bisexual despite never having dated a girl. But would he ever really be able to share a relationship in that way?

 

He hadn’t thought about it, hadn’t had need to beyond his initial realization, until now. Now, when Yamaguchi was asleep on Kei’s couch, his hair falling across his face and his breathing slow and even. He was so beautiful, more beautiful than Kei had ever realized. He was beginning to panic. He needed to get out, away from Yamaguchi and his beautiful, beautiful face, away from this house where thoughts crowded too close, away from everything. And there was one place he was coming to know as the place to get away from all of that.

 

He didn’t bother calling Daichi before coming over. He had been here a few times since their first date, and Daichi’s parents had told him he was always welcome. ‘Any friend of Daichi’s’ and all that. So Kei just got on a train and rode four stops over to Daichi’s neighborhood, and walked the five minutes to his house. He was just about to knock on the door when it opened.

 

“Tsukishima,” Daichi said, sounding startled. Of course he was startled. Kei had shown up here unannounced. He shouldn’t have come, he should have just stayed home and been normal, he should have- “Tsukishima, stop freaking out and come inside,” Daichi said.

 

“Sorry, were you going somewhere?” Kei asked, even as he stepped inside and pulled off his shoes.

 

“Just to take a jog, nowhere special,” Daichi replied. He glanced at the living room, where Kei could hear the sound of Daichi’s family talking. “Wanna go upstairs?” Daichi asked. Kei nodded, flooded with relief. He followed Daichi up the stairs and into his bedroom.

 

“Sorry,” Kei said again when the door was closed behind them and they were seated on Daichi’s bed. Daichi reached out to twine his fingers with Kei’s.

 

“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Daichi said. “Tell me what’s going on?”

 

“It’s nothing,” Kei said, but shook his head before Daichi could argue with him. “I mean, I want it to be nothing. It should be nothing.”

 

“How about you tell me, and then we can decide together if it’s nothing, or if it’s something,” Daichi said. Kei nodded.

 

“Remember how I told you when we had our first date that I was poly, and you didn’t freak out?” Kei asked.

 

“Yes…” Daichi said.

 

“I need to know that you’re not going to freak out about that, ever,” Kei said.

 

“Kei, what’s going on?” Daichi asked. It wasn’t what Kei wanted to hear.

 

“What’s going on is that I’m a mess, Daichi-san. I’m a fucked up human being and you shouldn’t be with me because all I’m ever going to bring you is pain. I don’t want to do that to you, but it’s what’s going to happen, and-”

 

“Kei!” Daichi said, taking Kei’s other hand and sliding off the bed to crouch in front of him. “Is this about Yamaguchi?”

 

“How did you-” Kei stared at him. He smiled, that sweet, boy-next-door smile that had made Kei fall in love with him in the first place.

 

“I’ve known for a while how you felt about him,” Daichi said. “It’s pretty obvious to anyone who’s not you.”

 

“But, I haven’t felt this way about him until just now,” Kei argued. Daichi chuckled, picking on of Kei’s hands up to bring to his lips. He pressed a kiss to Kei’s knuckles, one by one.

 

“You’ve felt this way about him as long as I’ve known you,” Daichi said. “You’re only just now figuring it out, and do you know what?” Kei shook his head. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

“How can you say that?” Kei whispered. “I’m your boyfriend, but I’m having feelings for another guy. That’s not normal.”

 

“That’s very normal, for you,” Daichi said. “Baby, you’ve got to understand that I will love you no matter how many people you fall for. And I will be here to help you sort out your feelings for all of them, one by one. And, if this is something you want to pursue, I will be here as long as you still want me, Yamaguchi or no Yamaguchi.”

 

“How do you always know how to make me feel better?” Kei breathed, sinking down off the bed and into Daichi’s lap. Daichi wrapped his arms around Kei’s middle and held him close.

 

“I know everything,” Daichi said. “Even things that smartypants like you don’t. And you know what else I know?”

 

“What?” Kei asked.

 

“I know that Yamaguchi likes you back,” Daichi said, a playful tone to his voice. Kei snorted, rolling his eyes.

 

“Sure he does,” Kei said.

 

“He does,” Daichi insisted. “But I know you’re not going to believe me, so do with that what you will. Regardless, we need to come up with a game plan.”

 

“Game plan,” Kei repeated.

 

“Yeah. On how you’re going to woo Yamaguchi.”

 

“Woo Yamaguchi.” It felt nice dripping off of Kei’s lips. But then a sudden fear clawed at him. “You’re not just saying all this to set me up with someone else so that you can leave me, are you?” he asked. Daichi snorted.

 

“No, Kei, I’m not doing that,” he said. “If it makes you feel better, I would be more than willing to date Yamaguchi alongside you.” The tip of Daichi’s ear was pink. Kei leaned back to see the rest of his face, fascinated and amazed to find it flushing a dark red. A dawning realization took him.

 

“You like him,” Kei said.

 

“I never said that,” Daichi huffed.

 

“You do, you like Yamaguchi.” A smile crept across Kei’s face. “Tell me what you like about him,” he demanded.

 

“Kei, I don’t-”

 

“Don’t lie to me,” Kei said, poking Daichi on the nose. Daichi went cross-eyed, then huffed.

 

“Fine,” he snipped. “I like… I like that he’s always laughing at something. Even a few months ago when it was always mean laughter, it was cute.”

 

“Especially when he laughs at his own jokes,” Kei agreed.

 

“Oh, definitely,” Daichi said. “Or when he smiles at you in the morning and you feel like the sun just came up in his smile.”

 

“Didn’t know you were such a poet,” Kei teased.

 

“Shut up,” Daichi said, laughing. He settled for a moment, looking pensive. “I like how he never gave up on you, even when you had given up on yourself. He’s a good friend, and I find that really attractive.”

 

“What do you even like about me, then?” Kei asked. Daichi looked him in the eye with an intensity Kei hadn’t expected.

 

“Everything,” Daichi said. “I like everything about you. From your toes to your curls, from your shitty personality to your genuine smile. It’s all perfect.”

 

“You don’t have to lie,” Kei said, looking away. He could feel himself blushing and he hated it.

 

“I’m not lying,” Daichi said. “I’m being entirely honest. I love you, Kei.” Kei’s heart beat double time in his chest, his mouth going dry and his palms growing slick. He looked back up at Daichi to find those honest brown eyes staring right back at him.

 

“I love you too,” he whispered. “I’m in love with you, and it terrifies me.”

 

“Because you’re also in love with Yamaguchi?” Daichi prompted.

 

“No,” Kei said. “Maybe? Kind of? Maybe not love, but something like it? I don’t know.”

 

“It’s okay to not know right now,” Daichi said. “I’m glad you came and told me about this though. I think open communication is probably the key to this whole thing.”

 

“How are you so perfect?” Kei groaned, dropping his head onto Daichi’s shoulder.

 

“Just born that way,” Daichi hummed, running a hand up and down Kei’s spine. “Now, about that game plan…” Kei rolled his eyes, but he detached himself from Daichi and sat with his back against the bed, his legs sprawling out into Daichi’s bedroom.

 

“Game plan,” he agreed. “Step one. Admit that you have a problem.” Daichi laughed and moved to sit next to him, facing the same direction.

 

“Step two, woo said problem and become the world’s first power triad.”

 

“Step three, wake up because this is all a dream and real life can’t possibly be this good.” Daichi took Kei’s hand.

 

“Step four, realize that it’s not a dream and live happily ever after.”

 

“Happily ever after,” Kei agreed. “Let’s go.”

 

-

 

Shouyou didn’t know what he had done wrong, but he was pretty sure it could be solved by running away. There could be nothing good that came from Tsukishima _and_ Daichi cornering him in the gym after practice. But then Daichi just laughed and ruffled his hair then went off to talk to Suga, leaving Shouyou and Tsukishima alone. Shouyou gulped and looked up at Tsukishima.

 

“Whatever it is, Kageyama started it,” he blurted. Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

 

“Come with me,” he said, grabbing Shouyou by the arm. It was the first time Tsukishima had willingly established physical contact with Shouyou, and Shouyou was sure it was to drag him away so Tsukishima could murder him and dump his body in the dumpster behind the foothill store. He said a silent goodbye to his life and all the things he loved and let himself be dragged away.

 

Tsukishima, it turned out, was not intending to murder Shouyou and dump his body in the dumpster behind the foothill store. Rather, he pulled Shouyou away from the gym and over to a pair of trees not far away. He looked around like he was making sure no one was around, then let Shouyou go and laced his fingers together awkwardly. It was… kind of adorable, really.

 

“Tsukishima?” Shouyou said, cocking his head. “Are you okay?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Tsukishima snapped.

 

“You’re doing that thing you do when you don’t know how to say something and you don’t want someone to think you’re weird,” Shouyou said.

 

“I don’t do anything like that,” Tsukishima said, unlacing his fingers and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

 

“Well, anyway, what’s up?” Shouyou asked, leaning back against a tree. Tsukishima looked at the ground, then at Shouyou, then back at the ground again. He sighed sharply through his nose.

 

“Look, you and Yamaguchi are friends, right?” he demanded. Shouyou cocked his head.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Has he ever mentioned anyone to you?”

 

Shouyou looked at Tsukishima quizzically. “What do you mean by that?” he asked.

 

“I mean, has he _mentioned_ anyone to you? As in, romantically. Like, Yachi, maybe?” Tsukishima looked like he wanted the earth to open up under his feet and swallow him whole. All at once, Shouyou understood.

 

“Tsukishima, if you like Yachi-san, you should just ask her out.” His brow furrowed. “But, I thought you were going out with Daichi-san? Did you two break up?”

 

“No, I’m still going out with Daichi,” Tsukishima said, dragging a hand over his face. “And I’m not talking about Yachi, I’m talking about Yamaguchi.”

 

“But you just said-”

 

“I like Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima interrupted, leaning into Shouyou’s space as though closer proximity would get the words through Shouyou’s head. “I want to ask him out. But I need to know if he’s interested first, or if he has mentioned being interested in someone else. Since he hasn’t mentioned anyone to me, I need to know if he’s mentioned someone to you. So. Has he?”

 

“I mean, yeah, he’s mentioned being interested in someone,” Shouyou said. Tsukishima leaned away, and for a moment Shouyou could see the absolute heartbreak in his eyes. “No, I don’t mean that, I mean-”

 

“It’s okay,” Tsukishima said, rubbing at the side of his nose. “Thanks anyway.”

 

“No, I mean, he likes you!” Shouyou slapped his hands over his mouth. “I wasn’t supposed to say that,” he cried.

 

“What did you just say?” Tsukishima asked, turning around with narrowed eyes.

 

“Nothing!” Shouyou squeaked. “I can’t tell you! I’m not supposed to!”

 

“Whatever, pipsqueak,” Tsukishima grumbled, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth that made Shouyou want to smile as well. It wasn’t a mean smile, or a sneer, or a fake veneer. It was genuine smile, and it made Shouyou feel warm to see it. He turned to go, then paused, turning halfway back to Shouyou. He reached out slowly and settled his hand in Shouyou’s hair. “If anyone ever hears about this conversation,” he said, tightening his grip until it was painful.

 

“Got it,” Shouyou squeaked. “Your secret’s safe with me!”

 

“Good.” Tsukishima paused again, then ruffled Shouyou’s hair. “Thanks, shrimp,” he said, then turned and walked away. Shouyou was left staring at his back and wondering what on earth had just happened.

 

-

 

Watching Tsukishima and Daichi together was hard, harder than Tadashi had thought it would be. He had prided himself once on the fact that he didn’t pine, that he wasn’t one of those girls in a shoujo manga wasting away because they couldn’t be with the man they loved. But now…

 

Now, Tadashi could see what Tsukishima saw in Daichi. Every time Tsukishima came home from a date gushing about how good Daichi was to him, how much he liked Daichi, how Daichi had said or done something particularly sweet, Tadashi died a little more inside. Because it wasn’t just Tsukishima anymore. It was the thought of being loved at all that made Tadashi light up like a shooting star. It would be just as good if it were Daichi instead of Tsukishima.

 

It was a train of thought that Tadashi needed to shut down, and quickly.

 

It didn’t help that instead of Tsukishima spending less time with Tadashi, like Tadashi had expected to happen, Daichi was spending more time with both of them. Like, today, for example. Tadashi was stuck in bed with a stomach flu, and Daichi had tagged along with Tsukishima to bring him his homework. It would have been fine, if they had then gone over to Tsukishima’s house like Tadashi expected. But instead, Daichi had set himself up at Tadashi’s table and started in on his own homework, keeping up a cheery string of running complaints as Tsukishima was in the kitchen making tea.

 

“No offense, Daichi-san, but why are you here?” Tadashi asked. Daichi smiled at him.

 

“Because you’re sick,” he said, like that explained everything. Tadashi leaned back against his headboard and tried not to roll his eyes. He picked up his English homework and set to work translating.

 

Tsukishima came in just as Tadashi was giving up on a particularly tricky sentence. He set the tea tray down on the table and took Tadashi’s paper from him, replacing it with a mug. “That’s ‘went’, not ‘goed’,” he said, handing the paper back. Tadashi groaned and scratched out the entire sentence. Tsukishima smiled at him and sat across from Daichi.

 

“What did I miss at practice?” Tadashi figured if they were going to stay anyway, he might as well go along with it.

 

“Let’s see,” Daichi said. “Some drills, a couple of a vs b practice matches, Hinata pantsed Kageyama, the usual.”

 

“Hinata pantsed him?” Tadashi asked. “Was it on purpose?”

 

“You know, it’s really hard to tell sometimes,” Daichi said.

 

“Poor Kageyama,” Tadashi snickered. Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

 

“More like poor the rest of us,” he said. “We all had to put up with twenty-five minutes of shouting after that. The King was so embarrassed.”

 

“He’s kinda cute when he blushes,” Daichi said. Tadashi tried to be subtle as he glanced at Tsukishima to see how he would react to the words. Tsukishima, to Tadashi’s amazement, simply sipped his tea and picked up his math homework, utterly unaffected by Daichi’s statement. As though it were a run of the mill thing for his boyfriend to say something was attractive about another man.

 

Maybe it was for them, Tadashi thought. Maybe all of this was normal and it was just Tadashi who was freaking out. Maybe Tadashi was the freak and they just put up with him out of convenience. It wouldn’t have been the first time, not by a long shot. But Tsukishima had always been adamant about insisting that Tadashi was there because Tsukishima wanted him there, and for no other reason. He was thinking too much again, and he was going to give himself an anxiety attack. He shook his head and went back to his English homework.

 

-

 

The day Daichi and Kei agreed to begin wooing Yamaguchi was also the anniversary of Kei’s hospitalization. He tried not to think of what that meant, tried to ignore the fact that it had been an entire year since his last relapse. If he thought about it too hard, he would fall back into the same hole of over-thinking and doubting and stressing until he was right back where he started a year ago. Except this time it would be worse, because this time there were people who were expecting him to succeed, who would be let down if he didn’t. He couldn’t help but imagine his therapist’s face, or his mother’s, or Yamaguchi’s. He couldn’t help but wonder what Daichi would look like in that situation.

 

It wasn’t something he ever wanted to find out.

 

So he forced himself to eat the breakfast his mother made, and then a little extra for good measure. They would be walking around a lot today, and he would need the energy.

 

Daichi knocked on the door at nine in the morning, despite Kei having told him he could simply walk inside the way Yamaguchi did. He slipped off his shoes and threw out a cheerful “pardon the intrusion” as Kei washed up the last of his breakfast mess and went out into the living room. Daichi greeted him with a hungry kiss that left Kei breathless and weak in the knees.

 

“What was that for?” Kei asked, his voice a little shaky.

 

“I love you,” Daichi said, his arms still around Kei’s waist. Kei flushed and shoved him away.

 

“Did you get the tickets?” he asked.

 

“You wanted the deluxe tour package, right?” Daichi asked, pulling an envelope out of his pocket.

 

“That’s the one,” Kei said. “How much do I owe you?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Daichi.”

 

“No, I’m serious. My uncle works there, remember? I told him I wanted to bring some friends in and he got me the passes for free.” Kei stared at him.

 

“Those cost ten thousand yen a piece,” he said.

 

“Okay, so he doesn’t just work there,” Daichi said. “He kind of owns the place. Or, co-owns it, is more like it. We don’t like to tell people that, because we don’t want them thinking we can get them in for free whenever. Which we can, but we won’t. Not for most people, anyway. But you’re not most people! And neither is Yamaguchi! So we’re fine.”

 

Kei stared a moment longer, then rolled his eyes. He bent down and pressed a kiss to Daichi’s forehead, folding his hand over Daichi’s over the tickets.

 

“Thank you,” he said.

 

“For you? Anything,” Daichi replied.

 

“Let’s go,” Kei said, grabbing his bag. “We need to catch him before he runs off to Shimada Mart again.”

 

Daichi followed Kei to Yamaguchi’s house like a puppy following his master. It was cute, the way he held on to the hem of Kei’s shirt, like he was afraid of getting lost somewhere between one house and the other. Kei led the way into Yamaguchi’s house and straight up the stairs, ignoring all the propriety Daichi was attempting.

 

“Yamaguchi,” Kei called, knocking once on Yamaguchi’s bedroom door before opening it. “Get your lazy ass out of bed. We’re going to the aquarium.”

 

The lump on Yamaguchi’s bed groaned. Kei walked over and poked at it until the groaning got louder. “What the fuck, Tsukki?” it whined.

 

“Get up,” Kei repeated. “Daichi and I are taking you to the aquarium.”

 

“Why?” whined Yamaguchi.

 

“Because you always want to go,” Kei replied. “Get up, get dressed. Wear comfortable shoes. We got all-access passes, so we’re going to be walking a lot.”

 

Yamaguchi finally emerged from the blanket to blink at Kei blearily over the top of the pillow he was hugging. His eyes narrowed. “Why are we going to the aquarium?” he asked, this time with a suspicious tone of voice.

 

“Why does there need to be an ulterior motive?” Kei asked. Yamaguchi gave him a Look. “Okay, fine. But there isn’t this time, I promise. Just. Get up. You have five minutes and then I’m coming back up here, and you won’t like what I do.” He turned on his heel and marched out of the room. Daichi followed, having stayed in the hallway for the entire exchange.

 

They didn’t have long to wait. Yamaguchi loved the aquarium, and his excitement won out over any lingering suspicion. He came barreling down the stairs with his t shirt inside out and his hair still a mess. Kei snorted at him and he looked down at himself, then shrugged.

 

“It’s a new look,” he said, and struck a pose. “What do you think?”

 

“I think you should at least turn that right side out,” Kei laughed. Yamaguchi shrugged and pulled the shirt over his head.

 

Kei had seen Yamaguchi without his shirt before. Hell, Kei had seen Yamaguchi naked before. But that was before Kei had realized how he felt about Yamaguchi. Now, everything was different. Kei had to tear his eyes away from the line of dark hair trailing down from Yamaguchi’s navel. He looked at Daichi instead, only to find Daichi staring openly at Yamaguchi’s chest. Part of Kei wanted to smack him, but the rest of him couldn’t blame him, really. Yamaguchi put his shirt back on at last, and Kei bit back a laugh. His hair was an even bigger mess than it had been before.

 

“Wait here,” Kei said, climbing the stairs. He ducked into Yamaguchi’s bathroom and came back down with a hairbrush and a ponytail holder in hand. “Hold still,” he said, and began brushing the snarls out of Yamaguchi’s hair.

 

“Uh, Tsukki, what are you doing?” Yamaguchi asked, but he stayed still as Kei had requested.

 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Kei asked. Yamaguchi stammered something unintelligible, and Kei ignored him, gathering as much of Yamaguchi’s hair as he could in one hand and pulling the hair tie off his wrist. Once Yamaguchi’s hair was secure, Kei looked him up and down, then nodded. “Okay, let’s go,” he said. Yamaguchi was red in the face, a rather attractive color for him, but to Kei’s surprise, Daichi was too. Kei stepped between them and crossed to the genkan to get his shoes, not really sure why what he had done was so embarrassing for the two of them. He had his shoes tied on and was halfway out the door before either of them moved.

 

They arrived at the aquarium just as it opened for the day. Yamaguchi was excited, practically bouncing in place as he waited in the small line at the ticket booth. Daichi flashed a smile at the woman working the booth and she let them in with a comment on how much he’d grown and how nice it was to see him again. Kei and Yamaguchi snickered as they walked in, Kei rather enjoying the way the comments made Daichi’s ears turn pink.

 

They made it three steps inside before Yamaguchi stopped in his tracks. He stared up at the glass wall of the main tank with an awed expression on his face, wonder sparkling in his eyes. Kei nudged Daichi.

 

“ _That_ _’s_ why we brought him here,” he said. Daichi nodded rather dumbly. Kei smiled and took his hand, then wrapped the other gently around Yamaguchi’s elbow. “You’re blocking traffic,” he said softly, guiding Yamaguchi closer to the tank. Yamaguchi went where he was taken without a fuss, eyes darting this way and that in time with the fish in the tank.

 

“If we let him, will he stay here all day?” Daichi asked Kei. Kei nodded.

 

“But he’ll be disappointed after. So a few more minutes, and then we’ll move on.”

 

Kei watched Yamaguchi watch the fish with a smile on his face. It had been a few years since they had been here, and he didn’t remember it being this endearing. Of course, a few years ago they were just friends. Now they were _just friends_. It was a heady distinction, and Kei could only imagine how it would feel when he could say Yamaguchi was his boyfriend.

 

Daichi drew his thumb across Kei’s knuckles, making him drag his eyes away from Yamaguchi’s face to another, equally awestruck one. Daichi’s eyes were on Yamaguchi, and the way he lit up whenever a new fish came into view. Kei knew exactly what he was feeling, knew it had to be magnified for Daichi who had never seen Yamaguchi like this before.

 

“Just wait till we see the turtles,” Kei whispered. Daichi jumped like he had forgotten Kei was even there. Kei laughed at him, and Yamaguchi turned at the sound. His cheeks turned red and he looked away quickly. “You ready to go?” Kei asked him.

 

“Oh! If you guys are, sure,” Yamaguchi said, then shook his head quickly. “You don’t have to worry about me! If there’s something you want to see, or if you want some alone time or-”

 

“Yamaguchi,” Daichi interrupted, putting a hand on Yamaguchi’s shoulder. “Let’s go see the turtles, yeah?”

 

Yamaguchi’s entire being lit up. “If that’s what you want to see,” he said, clearly trying to play it cool. Daichi swallowed audibly, his hand still on Yamaguchi’s shoulder. He snatched it away like it was burned, clearing his throat and gesturing for Yamaguchi to lead the way. Yamaguchi shot him a questioning look, then shrugged and stepped onto the path toward the sea turtle exhibit.

 

It didn’t take long for Yamaguchi to break out into a skipping little run at the sight of the sea turtles swimming about in their tank. He pressed his nose up to the glass and giggled and Daichi stopped in his tracks.

 

“I’m not good enough for him,” he whispered.

 

“No one’s good enough for him,” Kei replied. “But we’re gonna go for it anyway.” Daichi nodded, squeezing Kei’s hand. “Go on,” Kei said. “Ask him why they’re his favorites.”

 

“Why?” Daichi asked, immediately suspicious. Kei laughed at him.

 

“Just go,” he said. Daichi rolled his eyes, but let go of Kei’s hand and walked up to Yamaguchi.

 

“Are they your favorites?” he asked. Yamaguchi nodded. “Why?”

 

“Why not?” Yamaguchi asked. Daichi backpedaled, stammering, and Yamaguchi laughed. “I’m kidding,” he said. “I like how graceful they are, and sturdy. And they last forever, through anything. It’s how I want to be in life.”

 

“I think that’s an admirable goal,” Daichi said. His voice was strained, like he was fighting back some strong emotion. Kei thought he understood. He understood all too well.

 

-

 

There was something suspicious about Tsukishima and Daichi, and Tadashi was going to get to the bottom of it.

 

It wasn’t that they were doing anything wrong, per se, they were just being extra nice to him and he didn’t understand why. Like, when they had taken him on their aquarium date, and let him pick all the exhibits they looked at, and bought him a stuffed sea turtle at the gift shop to commemorate the day. Or the next weekend, when they had invaded his room and played video games with him all day, playing all his favorites and none of the ones he hated but Tsukishima liked. Or how they were constantly fluttering around him at school and practice, handing him his towel or water bottle or asking how his day was going.

 

It was driving Tadashi insane.

 

“Maybe they like you,” his mother said when he finished his rant and took an angry bite of his sandwich.

 

“Don’t be silly, Mom,” he said around a mouthful of tuna. She glared at him until he swallowed dutifully. “They like each other. It’s not like they would ever notice me.”

 

“Kei-kun has been your best friend for years now,” she said. “What’s to say he hasn’t noticed you all this time?”

 

“Even if he has, he’s dating Daichi-san now,” Tadashi insisted. “People in happy relationships don’t just go after a third party.”

 

“They do if they like that third party,” she argued. “I’ve seen the way Kei-kun looks at you, and from the sound of things this Daichi-kun isn’t far off.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Is there more you’re not telling me? A reason you’re so upset about all this?”

 

“…No,” he said.

 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but don’t lie to me, Tadashi,” she said.

 

“I don’t want to tell you,” Tadashi said. “I don’t want to admit it to myself.”

 

“Maybe it would be best to,” she said, not unkindly. He sighed heavily.

 

“I think… I think I might like Daichi-san. But that’s crazy, right? I like Tsukki! I have for a while now. It’s not normal to like another person, right?”

 

“Maybe it is normal,” she said. “And if it’s normal for you, who’s to say it’s not normal for the two of them? Why couldn’t you be with both of them?”

 

“I can’t even be with Tsukki,” Tadashi said. “What makes you think I can be with Tsukki _and_ Daichi-san?”

 

“I use my eyes,” his mother said. “Those boys adore you, Tadashi. I can see it, why can’t you?”

 

“I don’t know,” Tadashi said. “Even if you’re right, what makes you think they want that kind of relationship? They could just want someone to flirt with.”

 

“I don’t think so,” she said. “How about this. You watch them for a few days and decide if they’re just flirting or if they want something more from you. Then decide if what they want is something you can give. Sound fair?”

 

“Sure, I can do that,” Tadashi said. “Only because I’m right and they don’t like me like that.”

 

“You’re going to get yourself into a heap of trouble, son, and I’m not going to bail you out when you do,” she said, shaking her head. Tadashi stuck his tongue out at her and she stuck hers out right back. The front door opened.

 

“Pardon the intrusion,” Tsukishima called out, echoed by Daichi. Tadashi’s mother waggled her eyebrows at him and he rolled his eyes, stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth. He skipped out of the room and up the stairs to meet Tsukishima and Daichi for another afternoon of studying.

 

-

 

Kei was going out of his mind. He didn’t know how much clearer he could make it to Yamaguchi that he and Daichi were courting him. They had taken him on several dates, bought him presents and food, even held his hands on one memorable occasion. But Yamaguchi seemed utterly oblivious.

 

“I don’t know what else I can do,” Kei whined, flopping into Daichi’s lap. “It’s not like he’s stupid. He’s not _Kageyama._ He’s just-”

 

“Dense?” Daichi supplied.

 

“Oblivious!” Kei shouted.

 

“I know, babe,” Daichi said, running his fingers through Kei’s hair. “It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it?”

 

“What do you mean, seems?” Kei asked. “It is that way. He’s a moron. We’re in love with a moron.”

 

“Well, I’m in love with one,” Daichi said. “Just one, though. The other one, not so much.”

 

“What do you mean by that?” Kei snarled. Daichi laughed.

 

“He’s fucking with you, Tsukishima,” he said.

 

“What?”

 

“He knows damn well what we’re doing, he’s just not responding. It doesn’t seem like he’s averse to our trying to be with him, so maybe he’s just biding his time. But I think he’s fucking with you.” Kei glared at Daichi and Daichi smiled beatifically back. Kei rolled his eyes.

 

“Even if he was, which I doubt he is, why would you be so happy about that?” he asked.

 

“Because it’s a good sign,” Daichi said. “Trust me, everything is going to turn out just fine.”

 

Kei rolled his eyes, but put his faith in Daichi nonetheless.


	3. Chapter 3

In the days following their conversation, Kei watched Yamaguchi closely for signs that Daichi was right and Yamaguchi knew what was going on. He analyzed every single encounter as though it were a science experiment and Yamaguchi was his test variable. Yamaguchi caught on to the scrutiny remarkably quickly.

 

“Tsukki, why are you watching me like you’re expecting me to sprout wings and fly?” Yamaguchi asked one day as they sat together eating their lunch. Kei startled, looking down at his bento box like it held the answers of the universe. “Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said in a warning tone of voice.

 

“Why have you never dated anyone?” Kei blurted. It wasn’t what he had meant to say, but one the words were out there was no taking them back. Yamaguchi blinked at him, then smiled down at his desk.

 

“I guess I’ve just been waiting for the right person,” he said. “I’m not really one to take initiative if I like someone. You know that.”

 

“I do,” Kei admitted, thinking back to the girl Yamaguchi had liked for months back in middle school. He had waited for her to confess to him, which of course never happened. He had been devastated when she went on to high school in another prefecture without so much as a word to him. Kei couldn’t help but be grateful that nothing ever came of the two of them. Then he felt awful for thinking that.

 

“Why do you ask, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, and all of a sudden Kei saw it before him. His opportunity. He could ask Yamaguchi out, on behalf of himself and Daichi, and the three of them could live happily ever after. Or it could go horribly wrong. But he would never know until he tried.

 

“Yamaguchi,” he said, as seriously as he could. Yamaguchi looked up at him with something like hope in his eyes. Kei opened his mouth, and hesitated. In that moment of hesitation, their lunch hour ended and the bell rang. Kei had missed his chance. “Never mind,” he said as students began filing back into the classroom. He turned away, just catching out of the corner of his eye Yamaguchi’s disappointed expression.

 

Interesting, he thought. So Yamaguchi was hopeful, for _something_. He wanted Kei to say something to him, and was disappointed when he didn’t. Maybe Daichi was right after all. Maybe Yamaguchi did want Kei to make the next move. After all, Yamaguchi had pined in silence for that girl. Who was to say he wasn’t doing the same thing now?

 

Kei pulled out his books and turned his mind to his studies, but all the while at the back of his thoughts he let himself linger on Yamaguchi.

 

-

 

Daichi’s little siblings loved Tsukishima. It was cute to see them constantly hanging off of him, nice to hear them talk about him so fondly, but it was also a problem. Because Hiroto and Yuna - especially Yuna - had no sense of personal boundaries or privacy. More than once Daichi and Tsukishima had to hastily break apart during a heavy make out session to pretend they were doing something innocent because Yuna came crashing into Daichi’s bedroom, wanting to play with Hiroto hot on her heels.

 

It was really only a matter of time.

 

Daichi was lying on the bed with Tsukishima on top of him, grinding gently into him and moaning against his neck. Daichi’s blood was on fire. He gripped Tsukishima’s hips and groaned. He was just about to bite into Tsukishima’s neck when the door flew open.

 

“Yuna,” Daichi snarled, shoving Tsukishima off of him, only to stop dead. It wasn’t Yuna and Hiroto at the door.

 

“Daichi,” said Daichi’s father, staring at Daichi and Tsukishima. “What the fuck is going on in here?”

 

The thing about Sawamura Takashi was that he was not a forgiving man. Daichi wouldn’t say he was cruel, because he never had been before, but he wasn’t exactly kind either. Daichi respected his father, but he never confided in him, never trusted him with his secrets or his fears. Daichi had never come out to him because he had never been sure what his response would be. And now here he was, having caught Daichi making out with his secret boyfriend.

 

For a long time, Takashi said nothing. Daichi began to hope that maybe they could get away without too much fuss, with a humble apology and a genial reorientation of world views. But then his father spoke.

 

He was very calm. He did not yell, he did not turn red in the face or hit Daichi or do any of the horrible things Daichi had feared. But it was no less devastating for all that. “You will pack your things and leave this house,” he said. “I will not have you tainting Yuna and Hiroto with your degenerate lifestyle, nor will I have you dragging this family through the mud. I want to never see your face again, are we understood?”

 

“Sawamura-san, I-” Tsukishima started, but Daichi’s father cut him off.

 

“You do not speak to me,” he said. “You have corrupted my son, and for that I wish you ultimate shame. I am going to the store to pick up some eggs. When I return, I want you both gone from this place. I will accept no arguments on this subject.”

 

With that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

 

Daichi sat there, his ears ringing. Tsukishima said something to him, but he couldn’t hear it, too busy staring at the place where his father had disappeared. Tsukishima was yelling, but still Daichi couldn’t hear him. It wasn’t until Tsukishima stood, ready to storm out the door and give Takashi a piece of his mind, that Daichi woke from his trance.

 

“Tsukishima, don’t,” he said, grabbing on to the hem of Tsukishima’s shirt. “Let’s just get my stuff and go.”

 

“Daichi-” Tsukishima said, then broke off. Something in Daichi’s face gave him pause. “Is that what you want?” he asked.

 

“I don’t want to live with someone who doesn’t want me around,” Daichi said, and the words almost killed him. He stood and walked to his closet where his sports bag was.

 

They didn’t take much. His school uniform, a few changes of clothes, his schoolbooks and the few trinkets and pictures he couldn’t bear to leave behind. He left everything that his parents had paid for, everything that he could spare. They walked out of the house five minutes after Takashi.

 

They made it five steps down the driveway before the front door opened again and Yuna and Hiroto came barreling out.

 

“Daichi-nii, Tsukki-nii, where’re you going?” Yuna cried. Daichi caught her in his arms and hugged her close.

 

“Nii-san loves you very much,” he whispered fiercely into her hair. He reached out and Hiroto joined the hug. “So very much.”

 

“Nii-san, what’s wrong?” Hiroto asked.

 

“I have to go away for a while,” Daichi said.

 

“When are you coming back?” Yuna asked. Daichi’s eyes began to sting.

 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know. But I have to go now. Be good for me, okay?”

 

“But Daichi-nii, where are you going?” Yuna asked. “Can we come visit you?”

 

“I don’t know,” Daichi said. His voice started to crack.

 

“Daichi,” Tsukishima said gently. “We have to go.” Daichi nodded and let go of his little siblings. He gave them a wobbly smile and ruffled first Yuna’s hair and then Hiroto’s. He turned away and let Tsukishima guide him down the street.

 

-

 

Daichi was quiet all the way back to Kei’s house. Kei held his hand and carried one of his bags, but he could think of nothing to say or do. What could possibly make something like that better? What could he possibly do in the face of what had just happened to Daichi?

 

The first thing, it seemed, was to get him into Kei’s house. Daichi was in a trance, zoned out entirely with his eyes unfocused and his face expressionless. When they reached their stop, Kei had to all but drag him to his feet and off the train.

 

No one was home when Kei and Daichi arrived. It was awkward, standing in the genkan with no answer to their greetings, and no idea what to do next. So Kei barreled through the awkwardness and squeezed Daichi’s hand.

 

“You can put your stuff in my brother’s room for now,” he said. “I don’t know if my mom will let you stay permanently, but you should be fine for the night.”

 

Daichi nodded, but he didn’t move. Kei let go of his hand to nudge between his shoulder blades, encouraging him to take the first step. Daichi went as he was told, mounted the stairs and dropped his bags off in Akiteru’s old bedroom. They stood for a while there, staring at the pile of bags and wondering what to say or do next. A horrid thought occurred to Kei.

 

“Daichi?” he asked, timid. Daichi looked at him, then looked away, lending credence to Kei’s thought. “With everything that’s happened, I would understand if- if you didn’t want to do this anymore.”

 

“Is that what you want?” Daichi’s voice was monotone, and he still wouldn’t look at Kei. In his desperation, Kei did what he always did. He self destructed.

 

“I think it might be for the best,” he said coldly. “Until you get your feet under you, you can’t be worried about a relationship with me.” Daichi nodded and bent to pick up his bag.

 

“See you at school, then,” he said, and turned to go.

 

“Wait, where are you going?” Kei asked.

 

“To see if anyone else has a spare bedroom,” Daichi said. “I’ll get out of your hair, don’t worry.”

 

That wasn’t what Kei meant. But he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not when Daichi was so clearly eager to leave. Kei just nodded and handed Daichi his other bags. Daichi walked out of the room and down the stairs without another word. Kei felt the sound of the front door closing in his chest, like a knife wound or a gunshot. He collapsed on the bedroom floor and began to sob.

 

-

 

Asahi opened the door to find a catatonic Daichi on his front step, loaded down with three duffel bags. He looked up at Asahi and immediately burst into tears.

 

“Okay, okay,” Asahi cooed, reaching out and pulling Daichi into the house and into his arms. “It’s okay. I’m here.” He drew Daichi over to the couch and sat down with him, running a hand up and down Daichi’s back.

 

“Tsu- Tsukishima,” Daichi started, and let out a wail. Asahi’s heart broke at the sound.

 

“What about Tsukishima?” Asahi prompted. Daichi shook his head.

 

“My dad,” he said instead. “He found us together. I didn’t know what would happen, but I didn’t think… And then Tsukishima tried to- but I told him not to- so we just left. And Yuna and Hiroto, and I had to tell them that I didn’t _know_ , because I _don_ _’t,_ And I don’t know where else to go, because Tsukishima- and god, I don’t blame him, because who wants to be involved with this mess, but I just- I just-” Daichi cut himself off and buried his face in Asahi’s shoulder.

 

“Tsukishima broke up with you?” Asahi asked. It was about all he could get out of that mess of words and tears.

 

“And my dad kicked me out,” Daichi managed.

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Asahi said, brushing his fingers through Daichi’s hair. “You’ve had just about the worst day ever, huh? Do you need a place to stay?” Daichi nodded. “Okay. We’ll have to ask my mom, but I’m sure she’ll say yes. Don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll sort this out and everything will be okay.”

 

“Nothing will ever be okay again.” Asahi was sure Daichi genuinely believed that. But he was nothing if not confident in his ability to prove Daichi wrong, in any and all things. He held Daichi in silence as he cried himself out, and then helped him bring his bags upstairs to the spare bedroom. He left Daichi there and went to make tea.

 

His mother came home just as he was loading Daichi’s teacup with milk and sugar. Daichi came downstairs before she could say much more than “I’m home”. Asahi watched as he stopped in the genkan and bowed.

 

“Azumane-san,” he said. She blinked at the formality.

 

“Daichi-kun, what’s wrong?” she asked.

 

“Azumane-san, I’m bisexual,” Daichi told her. She blinked again.

 

“Okay?”

 

“I’m telling you this because it caused my father to kick me out. I need a place to stay, but I want to be honest with you in the first place. I understand if this is going to be a problem and you’d rather I not stay here.”

 

Asahi watched the confusion on his mother’s face give way to sympathy and holy rage. Despite himself, his lips quirked up into a smile.

 

“Of course you can stay here, Daichi-kun,” she said, and it was like a load was lifted off of Daichi’s shoulders. “We’ll have to set up the guest bedroom for you, and go shopping for some food you like. And we’ll have to contact the school and let them know you’re living with us now.” Asahi’s mother continued rattling off a to-do list to herself as she stepped past Asahi into the kitchen. Asahi crossed to where Daichi was still standing, rather shell-shocked, and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You okay?” he asked softly.

 

“I expected her to kick me out too,” Daichi admitted. Asahi snorted.

 

“She didn’t have a problem when I came out to her. Why would she feel any differently about you?”

 

“Sorry, it’s been a bit of a day,” Daichi said. Asahi stroked his thumb across Daichi’s collar bone.

 

“Tomorrow will be better,” he said.

 

“Tomorrow I have to face Tsukishima again,” Daichi pointed out. Asahi dropped his hand. He got the curious desire to tangle his fingers with Daichi’s.

 

“Why did he break up with you?” Asahi asked. He wasn’t going to, but curiosity got the better of him.

 

“I guess he got scared,” Daichi said. “I guess he realized what a risk he was taking by being with me, and didn’t want to take it anymore.”

 

“He’ll realize his mistake soon enough,” Asahi promised.

 

“I think he already has.” Asahi had a feeling Daichi wasn’t being overly hopeful when he said that, but he let it go. He grabbed Daichi by the arm and dragged him up to the spare bedroom to help him unpack his things.

 

-

 

To say Tadashi was confused would be the understatement of a century. He had been certain that Daichi and Tsukishima were working on asking him out, that their relationship was going strong and about to get stronger. He had no idea why the two of them would split. All he could get out of Tsukishima was that he and Daichi had come to a mutual decision and that he didn’t want to talk about it.

 

It was obvious to Tadashi that Tsukishima still loved Daichi. Years of being Tsukishima’s best friend had earned him enough insight that he could tell that at the very least. He could see it in the way Tsukishima’s eyes lingered on Daichi, on the way he was silent and sullen all day. What he didn’t expect was for Daichi to be the same way.

 

The entire team could tell something was up. Their energy was off, their dynamic crumpled in a ball and thrown in the trash by the woes of their captain and their clever middle blocker. Blocks were missed, spikes sent astray, tensions running high. Kageyama and Hinata didn’t get into a single fight, but Tanaka and Nishinoya did. Everything was wrong and they all knew why. Suga came up to Tadashi at the end of afternoon practice with a frown on his face.

 

“Normally, it would be my job as Daichi’s best friend to interfere,” he said. “But I have a feeling you’ve got more of a chance than I do this time around.”

 

“Why, what did Daichi-san tell you?” Tadashi asked. Suga smiled at him, a proud twinkle in his eye.

 

“You little shit,” he said fondly. “You know damn well he didn’t tell me anything. You’re just trying to act innocent.”

 

“I’ll go talk to them,” Tadashi promised. Suga reached up to pat Tadashi on the head and then flounced off to go bother someone else on the team. Tadashi took a deep breath to steady himself, then walked up to Daichi. “Captain, can I talk to you in private?” he asked.

 

Daichi blinked. “Uh, sure,” he said hesitantly, looking at something over Tadashi’s shoulder. Tadashi didn’t need to look to know it was Tsukishima. Tadashi smiled and led the way out of the gym. He led Daichi to a trio of trees near the school gate and waited until Hinata and Nishinoya were out of earshot. Then he turned on Daichi and put his fists on his hips.

 

“Daichi-san, what the fuck,” he demanded.

 

“Excuse me?” Daichi said, shocked and affronted.

 

“One minute everything’s going great, we’re all on our way towards being one big happy family and the next you two split up? I thought you were supposed to be adding to your relationship, not ending it entirely.” Daichi’s face turned red, but Tadashi couldn’t tell if it was anger or embarrassment.

 

“Hey, Tsukishima’s the one who ended things, not me,” he said. “If you want to know why, talk to him.”

 

“You know full well Tsukki won’t stop self-destructing long enough to tell me right now,” Tadashi said. “He’s not going to fix this, so either you do it or I will.”

 

“What does that even mean?” Daichi asked, but he was smiling, the first smile Tadashi had seen on him all day.

 

“It means go tell Tsukki you still want to be together,” Tadashi said. “And when you’re done getting your shit together with him, bring him to my house and get it together with me, mkay?”

 

“Okay,” Daichi laughed. He reached out and cupped Tadashi’s cheek. “Thank you,” he said softly.

 

“You can thank me once you’ve patched things up with Tsukki,” Tadashi said. Daichi nodded and brushed his thumb across Tadashi’s cheekbone. Then he grinned and turned to jog away. Tadashi watched him go, then turned to walk home.

 

He wasn’t at home for long when there came a knock on his bedroom door. He opened it to find a panting Tsukishima, out of breath with a desperate look in his eye. Tadashi opened his mouth to ask if he was okay but Tsukishima reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders.

 

Time seemed to slow as Tsukishima leaned in to kiss Tadashi. Tadashi closed his eyes and tilted his head up, shivering in the moment that Tsukishima paused, his breath fanning across Tadashi’s face. Tsukishima whispered, “Is this-” and Tadashi leaned up on his toes to close the distance between them.

 

“This is okay,” Tadashi whispered as they pulled apart. He opened his eyes to see the gold of Tsukishima’s staring at him like he was the only thing in the universe. “This is more than okay,” Tadashi said. Tsukishima leaned in to kiss him again. “But,” Tadashi said, leaning back, “where is Daichi-san?”

 

“He was right behind me,” Tsukishima said, his voice petulant and a little confused. “He didn’t feel like running apparently.”

 

“Well, I can think of a thing or two we can do while we wait for him,” Tadashi said, looping his arms around Tsukishima’s neck. Tsukishima smirked.

 

“Oh, can you?” he asked. Tadashi nodded.

 

“Of course, we’re going to have to have a talk about boundaries and things like that when he gets here,” he said. “But for now…” He leaned up on his toes and kissed Tsukishima on the nose. Tsukishima went cross-eyed, then focused on Tadashi and smiled.

 

“For now,” he agreed, and walked Tadashi backwards to the bed. “For now, this is enough.” Tadashi’s back hit the mattress and Tsukishima climbed on top of him. Tadashi reached up to find out what it felt like to run his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair. Tsukishima tilted his head to kiss at Tadashi’s wrist, and Tadashi’s blood sang in his veins.

 

“Tsukki,” Tadashi whispered.

 

“I love you,” Tsukishima said. Tears pricked at Tadashi’s eyes.

 

“I love you too,” he breathed. Tsukishima reached out to brush his knuckles along Tadashi’s cheek.

 

“You guys started without me.” Tadashi craned his neck to see around Tsukishima to the door. Daichi was standing there, a grin on his face, looking more beautiful than Tadashi had ever seen him. He stepped into Tadashi’s room and closed the door behind him. Tadashi pushed Tsukishima up until he was sitting at the foot of Tadashi’s bed. Tadashi climbed into his lap and leaned back against his chest, waiting while Daichi climbed onto the bed in front of him.

 

“Kiss me, Daichi-san,” Tadashi murmured. He didn’t need to ask twice. Daichi leaned forward and pressed his lips to Tadashi’s.

 

It was a different experience, kissing Daichi as opposed to kissing Tsukishima. Tsukishima was an analytical kisser, determined to get everything right and unsure of himself with every move he made. Daichi kissed like he was chasing a feeling, like he was trying to communicate whatever was in his heart. Tadashi thought he got the message loud and clear. Tsukishima ran a hand up Tadashi’s side and Tadashi shivered.

 

“I love you,” Tsukishima whispered into Tadashi’s hair. “I love you, I love you, I love you-”

 

Tadashi broke his kiss with Daichi, too overcome with emotion to continue. Daichi took it in stride, kissing Tadashi’s cheek and down to his neck where he paused, breathing heavily.

 

“I love you both,” Daichi said, plain and simple and oh so meaningful, just like him. Tadashi was sort of crying by then, so he took Tsukishima’s hand in one of his own and Daichi’s in the other and squeezed them both as tight as he could.

 

He thought they got the message.

 

-

 

Koushi knew Daichi was having a rough time, and that he didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with any more drama in his life. The caring thing to do would be to keep it to himself, no matter how much it hurt to.

 

But fuck all that, Koushi needed someone to talk to. He pounded on the door to Asahi’s house with one hand, the other clutching his useless umbrella, soaked to the bone.

 

Asahi answered the door. “Oh,” Koushi said, staring at him. “I didn’t expect to see you…”

 

“At my house?” Asahi asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re soaking wet.”

 

“Yeah,” Koushi said. “Anyway, is Daichi home? I need to talk to him.” Asahi stepped aside to let Koushi into the house.

 

“He’s upstairs,” Asahi said, and something in his voice made Koushi pause.

 

“What happened?” he asked.

 

“Nothing new,” Asahi assured him. “He’s just upset over everything else. Maybe you’ll be able to pull him out of this funk.”

 

“No pressure or anything,” Koushi muttered. Asahi clapped Koushi on the shoulder and Koushi pretended his blood wasn’t singing in his veins. Koushi gave him a weak smile and went to climb the stairs. “Dai?” he asked, knocking gently on the door to the guest room.

 

“Go away, Suga,” Daichi called. Koushi rolled his eyes and shoved the door open. “Suga, I said- why are you crying?”

 

Koushi reached up to touch his cheek, surprised when his fingers came away wet. He shut the door behind him and crumpled to the floor. “I’m sorry,” he whined. He heard the sound of Daichi climbing out of the bed and padding across the room to him, and then felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders as Daichi knelt beside him.

 

“Koushi,” Daichi cooed, rocking him gently. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Koushi sobbed again. “I’m sorry, I know you have other things on your mind-”

 

“Suga, don’t worry about me,” Daichi said. “Tell me what’s going on. Tell me how to help you.”

 

Koushi sobbed for a moment longer before he managed to get ahold of himself. He scrubbed at his face with his hands and took a deep breath. “I know we agreed to go for this,” Koushi said, “but I’m scared shitless, Dai. I didn’t realize when we said the whole team was going to get together that that meant me too. But now I’m having _feelings_ , for _people_. I don’t know what to do, Daichi.”

 

“First things first, you take a deep breath,” Daichi said. Koushi obeyed, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, the way they had taught Asahi to handle his meltdowns in their first year. “Good,” Daichi said. “Now, tell me what you’re scared of.”

 

“So many things,” Koushi whispered. “It’s so stupid. But I’m scared to talk to anyone about this, because I don’t know who’s going to flip out and-”

 

“And kick you out of their house?” Daichi supplied. Koushi nodded, utterly miserable.

 

“And I don’t know how to help you, which sucks. I’ve always known how to help you. I’m supposed to be your right hand man.”

 

“Koushi, stop worrying about me,” Daichi said. “What happened to me sucks, but it doesn’t mean my entire world has come crashing down. You’re still my right hand man.”

 

“And I can’t talk to Asahi, because god, what if we scare him off? I can’t handle losing him right now, but all I can think about whenever I see him is how much I want to hold his hand and kiss his stupid face and-” Daichi laughed.

 

“Babe, I know what you mean,” Daichi said. “I felt the same way when I first started trying to go out with Tsukishima. But Asahi’s a lot stronger than we think he is. It’s not first year anymore, he’s grown up. Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

 

“Because I’m scared,” Koushi whispered. “What if he doesn’t like me back? What if none of them like me back?”

 

There was a long pause. Then Daichi said, “I like you back.”

 

Koushi blinked. He hadn’t thought of that. But when Koushi and Daichi had discussed all of this initially, they had meant the _whole_ team, including themselves. Koushi’s breath hitched in his throat. “Daichi,” he whispered.

 

“I didn’t want to tell you yet, because I don’t know how Tsukishima and Yamaguchi feel, but I fully intend to woo you too,” Daichi said. “You’re not going to be left out of all of this. So. Can you wait for me?”

 

“I would wait forever for you, Dai,” Koushi said, completely honest.

 

“And, can you wait for Asahi?” Daichi asked.

 

“I can’t face him now, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m no where near ready to ask him out.”

 

“Okay,” Daichi said, taking his arms from around Koushi’s shoulders. He turned to sit beside him and dropped his head on Koushi’s shoulder. Koushi shivered. “You’re wet,” Daichi said, as though he was just now noticing.

 

“You’re a genius,” Koushi said. Daichi huffed.

 

“Get in the shower,” Daichi commanded. “I’ll get you some dry clothes.” Koushi nodded and got to his feet. He paused at the door and turned back to Daichi.

 

“Thank you,” he said. Daichi smiled at him.

 

“Anytime, Koushi.”

 

-

 

Tadashi had not forgotten about Kageyama. In all his bliss, he realized that it was only going to hurt him to be left behind. He wondered if Kageyama knew how he felt yet, or if he was still fumbling around in the dark with too many feelings and no real outlet for them. As they met up for their weekly study session, Tadashi watched Kageyama closely.

 

He seemed… normal. He didn’t seem crushed or heartbroken, just a little surlier than usual. But that could have something to do with the fact that Tsukishima was there and Tsukishima and Kageyama never got along.

 

Tadashi sighed to himself. He wanted them to get along. It was important to him that Tsukishima liked Kageyama, though he wasn’t sure why. When Kageyama left after the study session, Tadashi flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling, utterly befuddled.

 

“Why were you staring at him so much?” Tsukishima asked, flopping down next to Tadashi and taking his hand.

 

“What do you mean, staring at who?” Tadashi asked. Tsukishima looked at him curiously.

 

“Kageyama,” he said. “You were staring at him the entire time. How come?”

 

“I wasn’t staring at him,” Tadashi said.

 

“You totally were.”

 

“Was not.”

 

“Were too.”

 

“Was not!”

 

“Oh my god,” Tsukishima cried, turning onto his side to look at Tadashi better. “You like him.”

 

“I what now?” Tadashi asked, baffled.

 

“You like Kageyama.”

 

“Oh. Huh.” Tadashi looked up at the ceiling. “That makes sense.”

 

“How long has this been going on?” There was no suspicion in Tsukishima’s voice, no accusation. Only curiosity. Somehow that filled Tadashi with more trepidation than it would have if he had started screaming and throwing things. Meltdown Tsukki, Tadashi knew how to deal with. This Tsukki? Not so much.

 

“I… don’t know,” Tadashi said. “I’ve known he likes me for a while now, but-”

 

“Wait, he likes you?” Tsukishima asked. “Since when?”

 

“Since, like, six months ago,” Tadashi said. “Pretty near the beginning of the school year. I haven’t thought anything of it, because I was too busy pining for you-”

 

“I can’t believe he likes you,” Tsukishima interrupted.

 

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Tadashi huffed. “You like me.”

 

“I love you,” Tsukishima corrected. “I’m just saying, it’s awfully convenient that the two of you have crushes on each other.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Well, if you wanted, you could be with him instead of me. And Daichi.” And there it was. Tsukishima’s self-destruction. Tadashi squeezed his hand and rolled over to look at him.

 

“Kei,” he said softly. “My firefly. My sun, moon, and stars. You are a fucking moron.”

 

“Hey!”  


“No, listen to me,” Tadashi insisted. “When Daichi’s dad kicked him out, what was your reaction? Was it supporting your partner and sticking with him, or was it to abandon ship and hope to save yourself some more pain?”

 

“Well I-”

 

“Answer the question, Tsukki.”

 

“It was to abandon ship,” Tsukishima said.

 

“And now, when you find out one of your partners has a crush on someone else, is your first instinct to support them and stick with them, or is it to abandon ship again?” Tsukishima glared at Tadashi. “I’m just saying, you can’t always react to the world by hitting the self-destruct button. I love you, Tsukki, and no crush on Kageyama is going to change that. Do you understand me?”

 

“I understand,” Tsukishima said.

 

“Are you lying to me?” Tadashi asked.

 

“Of course I’m lying to you,” Tsukishima said.

 

“Tsukki,” Tadashi sighed. He reached out to cup Tsukishima’s cheek. “Someday you’re gonna realize you deserve the world, and all you have to do is reach out and take it.”

 

“I already have the world,” Tsukishima said. “I have you.”

 

“So why are you trying to give me away?” Tadashi asked. Tsukishima closed his eyes.

 

“Because I don’t deserve you,” he murmured. “I never will.”

 

“You already do,” Tadashi said. “And someday I’m going to prove it to you.”

 

-

 

Daichi was alone in Asahi’s house when Yamaguchi came over unannounced. He greeted Daichi with a fierce kiss that set Daichi’s blood on fire and made him stumble over his own two feet.

 

“What’s gotten into you?” Daichi asked.

 

“I have a crush on Kageyama,” Yamaguchi said. “And he has one on me. I need to tell you this upfront, but I have a feeling it doesn’t really matter to you one way or another.”

 

“Of course it matters to me how you feel,” Daichi said, but Yamaguchi shook his head.

 

“I misspoke. It doesn’t matter in the way it matters to Tsukki, because you aren’t convinced I’m going to leave you for someone better. In fact, this all works into your plan, doesn’t it?”

 

“What plan?” Daichi asked, blinking. Yamaguchi rolled his eyes.

 

“The plan to get all of us together,” he said. “I know there is one, that you and Suga-san have been conspiring this whole time to start one big domino effect, starting with you dating Tsukki.” He sat down on Asahi’s couch and patted the seat beside him. “So,” he said. “I want in. Tell me all the details, and what I need to do.”

 

“There’s no _plan_ ,” Daichi said, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch and drawing Yamaguchi’s feet into his lap. “There’s just an idea, really.”

 

“Then let’s make a plan,” Yamaguchi said. Daichi laughed.

 

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s make a plan.”


	4. Chapter 4

Yamaguchi was being much nicer than normal. Not that he wasn’t normally nice, especially compared to Tsukishima. But he was being nicer, and it was weird. Tobio didn’t know how to handle it.

 

“Hey, Kageyama, I brought you a meatbun.” Like that. Yamaguchi was standing outside Tobio’s classroom at lunchtime, holding a meaty delicacy and smiling. It was bizarre.

 

“Thanks,” Tobio muttered, standing up and accepting the bun. It was still hot. He bit into it, his eyes closing involuntarily at the juicy flavor. Yamaguchi giggled and reached out, napkin in hand, to wipe a stray bit of bun from his cheek. Tobio’s brow furrowed. “Why are you being so nice to me?” he asked.

 

“What do you mean?” Yamaguchi’s head cocked, adorably, making Tobio’s skin feel warmer than usual. He shook his head.

 

“You’re being nicer to me,” he said. “You’re not normally.”

 

“I’m not normally nice?” By now, Tobio had spent enough time with Yamaguchi to know he was just teasing, but a part of him still scrambled to cover himself.

 

“I meant-” Tobio started, but Yamaguchi cut him off with a laugh that made Tobio feel like he was flying. He wanted to hear that laugh again, but he had no idea how to make that happen. He stood there, somewhat stunned, just watching Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi smiled sweetly at him and reached out to tuck a bit of his hair behind his ear.

 

“I gotta get going,” Yamaguchi said. “You enjoy that. I’ll see you at practice.” With that, he was gone, and Tobio was left reeling, trying to understand what had just happened. He sat down at his desk to eat his meatbun and try to calm the pounding of his heart.

 

-

 

Kei didn’t know what Yamaguchi saw in Kageyama. He was a moron, he was arrogant, he loved volleyball more than anything else in the world. Sure, he was sharp when he wanted to be, and an incredible athlete, and undeniably earnest in all things, but how was that enough to make Yamaguchi fall for him?

 

If Kei was being honest with himself, he knew how. Yamaguchi was the type of person to always see the best in people. It was why he stuck around with a prick like Kei. Kageyama was just another in a long line of people that Yamaguchi had seen some glowing quality in, and decided to make his own.

 

Still, watching Yamaguchi try to win Kageyama over was painful, to say the least. Kageyama was just so… so…

 

Oblivious. That’s what he was, oblivious. Kei sympathized with Yamaguchi, he really did. He knew what it was like to have feelings for someone who just didn’t get it.

 

“Maybe you should try doing what I did,” Kei suggested one day when they were lying on Daichi’s bedroom floor, staring at the ceiling and discussing possible outcomes of Yamaguchi’s pursuit of Kageyama.

 

“What’s that, try to woo him and then suddenly break up with you guys and ruin all his hopes of ever being with me at all?” Yamaguchi asked.

 

“I meant what I did with Daichi-san,” Kei growled.

 

“You just confessed to me,” Daichi said.

 

“Yeah, but I was straightforward,” Kei replied. “I didn’t take no for an answer.”

 

“You literally thought I said no and started to walk away,” Daichi laughed.

 

“Okay, so I took no for an answer. The point is, I laid everything out there in plain terms and let Daichi-san make the decision. You should do the same thing with Kageyama.” It left a sour taste in Kei’s mouth to say, but he supposed there was no way around it. Not when Yamaguchi was so dead set on dating Kageyama.

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Yamaguchi said. “After all, Kageyama needs things spelled out for him most of the time.” He sounded far too fond for what he was saying. Kei rolled his eyes.

 

“You should do it soon,” Daichi said. “Otherwise we’ll never get to the others.”

 

“What others?” Kei asked.

 

“What, what others?” Yamaguchi said loudly.

 

“Daichi-san said ‘the others’. What does that mean?”

 

“Daichi-san said no such thing,” Yamaguchi said firmly.

 

“Yamaguchi, what are you up to?” Kei demanded.

 

“Yamaguchi’s not up to anything,” Daichi said.

 

“What are _you_ up to then?” Kei snapped.

 

“Nothing,” Daichi laughed.

 

“You two are plotting something, and I demand to know what it is.”

 

“Kei.” Daichi was suddenly very close, rolling over Kei to loom above him, all pretty and serious and heart-wrenching. “The only plan we have is to love and be loved. And that all revolves around you, you have to know that.”

 

“I don’t have to do anything,” Kei whispered. Daichi’s eyes were filled with a sparkle of light that made Kei feel weak and desperate. Daichi must have read the desperation in Kei’s face, because he leaned down and kissed him, slow and sweet and all-consuming. Kei whimpered into the kiss, tilting his head to deepen it and letting Daichi have his way with him. He reached out with one hand to clutch at Yamaguchi, who took his hand with a laugh.

 

“You two are so hot together,” Yamaguchi said. Kei broke the kiss to throw his head back and close his eyes, his breathing hard and his heart pounding. He needed to calm down. But that was hard to do with Daichi kissing his neck and Yamaguchi laughing at them, so close and real, so close he could still taste Daichi on his lips, and he knew what Yamaguchi tasted like, knew what they felt like, knew-

 

“Stop,” Kei gasped, and Daichi pulled away immediately.

 

“Sorry,” Daichi panted, “did I take it too far?”

 

“No, I just…” Kei could feel himself blushing so he slapped his hands over his face. “I just got too excited,” he mumbled. He couldn’t let himself cross that line when he didn’t know exactly how the others felt about it.

 

“Kei, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Daichi said, reaching out to settle his hand on Kei’s shoulder. “Your boundaries are important to me. It’s not embarrassing to get worked up like that, and it’s not a bad thing to call it off when you get too far out of your comfort zone. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“I know that,” Kei breathed. He peeled his eyes open to stare at the ceiling through his fingers. He took a deep breath through his nose, then sat up. Daichi was conveniently placed for slumping into, so Kei did. Daichi ran his hand up and down Kei’s spine in a soothing motion, making Kei shiver. He closed his eyes again and squeezed Yamaguchi’s hand. “Ask Kageyama out,” he said when his mind was clearer. He looked at Yamaguchi, who stared back at him, surprised. “Do it tomorrow,” he said.

 

“Tsukki, are you sure you’re okay with-”

 

“Tomorrow,” Kei repeated. “Otherwise you’ll never do it.”

 

“Okay,” Yamaguchi said. “Tomorrow it is.”

 

-

 

Tomorrow came far earlier than Tadashi wanted it to. He had spent the night at Asahi’s, talking with Daichi and Tsukishima until far past all their bedtimes. He woke with Tsukishima wrapped around him, long limbs tucked against Tadashi like he never wanted to let go. From his vantage point, he could see Daichi still asleep on the bed, his arm still draped onto the floor from where he had fallen asleep holding Tadashi’s hand. Tadashi sighed.

 

Today was the day he was going to ask Kageyama out. Today could make or break his relationship with Tsukishima and Daichi. It could be the beginning of the entire team getting together, or it could be the end of that dream. And it all hinged on Tadashi and Kageyama.

 

No pressure or anything.

 

He stayed where he was until Daichi’s alarm went off and Tsukishima stirred behind him. Tadashi squeezed Tsukishima’s arm gently, and he let Tadashi go, letting him sit up and stretch his arms over his head. Tsukishima reached out and traced the bit of skin that was exposed by his shirt riding up. Tadashi giggled and dropped his arms, batting Tsukishima’s hand away.

 

“You ready for today?” Daichi asked, his eyes still closed.

 

“More ready than you are,” Tadashi laughed. Daichi hummed and stretched, yawning hugely.

 

“But are you _ready_ for today?” Tsukishima asked. “As the only one in this room who has ever actually confessed to anyone, I have the authority to tell you it’s even more terrifying than you think it is.”

 

“Oh please, it’s Kageyama,” Tadashi said. “How scary can he be?”

 

Very scary, as Tadashi soon found out. They ran into Kageyama on their way into the school, and all of Tadashi’s bluster died on his tongue. His words dried up and his palms turned sweaty and it was all he could do to smile at Kageyama like he normally would. Kageyama must have noticed something was up, because he furrowed his brow and attempted a smile back. It relaxed Tadashi somewhat, seeing that disaster of a smile, and he laughed.

 

“Kageyama, can I talk to you?” he asked, letting go of Daichi’s hand. Kageyama’s brow furrowed more, until Tadashi was sure it was painful. But he nodded, and followed Tadashi to a secluded corner of the school, near the baseball field.

 

“What’s up?” Kageyama asked.

 

“Kageyama, I like you,” Tadashi said, reminding himself to be blunter than he thought he needed to.

 

“I like you too?” Kageyama said. Tadashi laughed softly and shook his head.

 

“No, I mean I _like_ you. As in, I want to date you. And I’m pretty sure you like me back.”

 

“Oh,” Kageyama said. “Is that what that is?”

 

“Don’t you know?” Tadashi laughed. Kageyama shrugged.

 

“I’ve never liked anyone before,” he said. “But, aren’t you going out with Tsukishima and Daichi-san?”

 

“I’ve already talked to them about it,” Tadashi said. “They’re both fine with me dating you as well, if that’s what you want. I know it’s what I want.”

 

“I… don’t know what I want,” Kageyama said.

 

“That’s okay,” Tadashi said. “You can have all the time you need to figure it out. There’s no pressure.” There was all the pressure in the world, but Tadashi wasn’t about to tell Kageyama that.

 

“I think… I think I would like to give it a try,” Kageyama said slowly. “If that’s what you want.”

 

Tadashi reached out slowly and took Kageyama’s hands in both of his own. He ran his thumbs over Kageyama’s knuckles and smiled. “That is what I want,” he said softly.

 

“Then it’s what I want too,” Kageyama said. Tadashi laughed. “What?”

 

“It’s just… Tsukki made it out like this was going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” Tadashi said. “But everything is easy with you. I like it.”

 

“That’s good?” Kageyama said. “I think?”

 

“It’s very good,” Tadashi said. He leaned their foreheads together and smiled. “It’s a very good thing.” Tadashi’s phone chimed, making him jump. “We should get to practice,” he said.

 

“We should,” Kageyama agreed. For a moment, neither of them moved.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Tadashi asked. Kageyama swallowed audibly, then nodded. Tadashi leaned in and pressed his lips to Kageyama’s, gently, so gently. Kageyama pressed against him, opening his mouth.

 

Kageyama was a terrible kisser, Tadashi discovered, pulling away with a laugh. “You don’t have to do it like you’re trying to eat me,” he giggled. Kageyama looked put out, and Tadashi giggled more. “Just keep your mouth closed for now. I’ll show you what to do.”

 

If they were late for practice, lips kiss-swollen and hair mussed and grins wide, well. No one on the team commented.

 

-

 

Now that Yamaguchi and Kageyama were together, Kei kept expecting things to fall apart. He knew it was wrong of him to always expect the worst, but he was a pessimist at heart, and no few weeks of dating people was going to change that.

 

Yamaguchi split his time between Kageyama and Kei and Daichi, spending every lunch period with a different partner. Kei tried not to be insecure on the days he spent with Kageyama, choosing to focus instead on getting Hinata ready for his midterms.

 

“Is it weird? Dating someone who’s also dating Kageyama?” Hinata asked. So much for focusing on something other than Kageyama for an hour.

 

“Do you understand this equation?” Kei shot back. Hinata waved his hand in the air.

 

“Yeah, yeah, you isolate the x variable and then plug this in for that, I get it,” Hinata said. Kei narrowed his eyes. “Okay, I sort of get it. Better than I did before, anyway. But I’m done with math, my brain’s gonna explode if we do any more. I wanna talk about Kageyama and Yamaguchi and how weird it is.”

 

“Why does it have to be weird?” Kei asked, though secretly he agreed with Hinata.

 

Hinata snorted. “Because he’s _Kageyama,_ _”_ he said.

 

“I thought you of all people saw the good in him, or some shit like that,” Kei said. Hinata rolled his eyes.

 

“Sure, I see where he’s got some good qualities,” he said. “But like, who would want to date him?”

 

“Yamaguchi says he’s a good boyfriend,” Kei said, shrugging. “He’s attentive and earnest and oh my god, I can’t believe I’m saying nice things about him.”

 

“See! That’s my point,” Hinata said. “Even you are saying nice things about Kageyama now. It’s weird!”

 

“Whatever, shrimp,” Kei said. “It’s not like anyone would want to date you either.” Though, now that Kei thought about it, it would be nice to go out with a little ray of sunshine like Hinata. To have all that hyper-focus concentrated on him and him alone, if only for a moment. Kei had felt it before, on the opposite side of the net from Hinata, but he wondered what it would be like in another context, in another place and time…

 

He shook his head. Two boyfriends was enough for him for now. Two and a half, if he considered his new relationship to Kageyama. Two and a quarter? Two and one by proxy? Whatever. The point was, he didn’t need to go around pining for anyone else. Not when Kageyama was already taking up so much of his attention-

 

“Oh. My. God.”

 

“What?” Hinata asked, his head cocking and his eyes getting bright.

 

“Nothing,” Kei said quickly.

 

“What?” Hinata’s eyes narrowed and he got that look in his eye like he was facing down an opponent who was twice his size and skill, but who would fall to him eventually. Kei shook off the giddy feeling that gave him.

 

“Nothing,” Kei said again. “I need to go talk to Daichi-san. I’ll see you at practice.” He gathered up his things and rushed out of the classroom before Hinata could protest.

 

The third years were having lunch outside the gym, where they normally met when Yamaguchi and Kei were busy with the other first years. Kei approached them warily, waiting until Suga noticed him with a smile.

 

“Can I talk to Daichi-san?” he asked politely as he could. “It’s a private matter.”

 

Matching grins spread across Suga and Asahi’s faces, making Kei want to crawl into a hole and never emerge.

 

“Sure,” Suga said, his voice smarmy as could be. “Just have him back by ten. And use protection.”

 

“Oh my god, Suga, shut up,” Daichi said, standing and dusting off his pants. “What’s up, Tsukishima?”

 

Kei shook his head. “In private,” he said. Daichi nodded solemnly and waved goodbye to Asahi, Suga, and Kiyoko. He followed Kei around the gym to a secluded little area, where he took Kei’s hand in both of his.

 

“What is it?” he asked softly.

 

“Daichi-san, what’s going on with me?” he asked. “First Yamaguchi and now Kageyama? Am I supposed to fall in love with the entire team?”

 

“Well, ideally,” Daichi said. “Yes.”

 

“What?”

 

“You haven’t figured it out yet, have you?” Daichi asked, reaching up to cup Kei’s cheek.

 

“Figured what out?” Despite his confusion and growing trepidation, he leaned into Daichi’s touch. Daichi smiled up at him.

 

“You’ll get there eventually,” he said. “Just let me know when you do.”

 

“Are you telling me you and Tadashi are conspiring to get the entire team together?” Kei asked. “Because as much as that seems like something you two would do, I would hope you had more sense than that.”

 

“More sense than what, wanting to love and be loved by so many people? Than realizing what an incredible compatibility we all have? Kei, my love, think about it.” Kei did think about it. He let himself wonder what it would be like to date not just Daichi and Yamaguchi, but Kageyama also. And then he forced himself to wonder more.

 

What would it be like to hold Hinata’s hand? To cuddle up with Yachi and a good movie? To go on dates with Nishinoya and Ennoshita and Asahi? To kiss Narita or Kiyoko? To fall asleep between Suga and Tanaka? Kei saw it all laid out before him like a path on a treasure map. One by one, the entire team joining the relationship.

 

And Kei just a tool, a means to an end.

 

“So that’s why you agreed to go out with me,” Kei said. He took a step back, away from Daichi’s hand. “So that you could go out with all of them.”

 

“Of course it isn’t,” Daichi said, reaching out for Kei. “I chose you first, because I wanted the chance to go out with you at all. I was scared that if it wasn’t you first, I would never have you at all. I would rather have none of the others if having them meant I couldn’t have you.”

 

“Why would you even want me, when you could have all of them?” Kei demanded.

 

“Why would _you_ want _me_?” Daichi asked. “You could have all of them, too. You could have asked out any single person on the team and they probably would have said yes. But you came to me first. Why?”

 

“Because I love you,” Kei hollered. “Why else would I put myself on the line like that?”

 

“Why do you think I said yes?” Daichi shot back. “Because I felt the same way! I still do! All I want is to be with you and Tadashi and whoever else we can rope into this. All I want is to love and be loved.”

 

“You keep saying that, but how is that enough for you?” Kei cried. “How can that be all you want out of life?”

 

“Well, what do you want out of life?” Daichi’s voice was calm now, curious and innocent. Kei’s thoughts came grinding to a halt and he thought about it.

 

“I want to be normal,” he said. “I want to not have any of the problems I have. I want to just be able to love you the way you deserve.”

 

“Kei, you already are normal,” Daichi said. “And you love me far better than I deserve. As for the problems you have, well. You’re stable. You haven’t had a relapse in your anorexia since you started high school. You told me last week your therapist thought you were making great progress. What more could you ask for?”

 

“Not to have to make progress at all,” Kei said. Daichi cooed at him, stepping forward to fold him in his arms.

 

“Baby, you’re fine,” Daichi said. “All of this is perfectly normal. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect the way you are.”

 

“I wish that was true,” Kei muttered, but he returned Daichi’s embrace. He took a deep breath of the woodsy scent of Daichi’s shampoo and closed his eyes. “Okay,” he said. “Start small. Kageyama.”

 

“Kageyama,” Daichi agreed. “Do you think you can handle that?”

 

“No,” Kei said. “But I’m going to anyway.”

 

“That’s the spirit,” Daichi said.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me this was the plan from the start?” Kei asked, pulling away to lean against the wall. “Why hide it from me?”

 

“It wasn’t so much hiding it from you as it was not wanting to scare you,” Daichi said. “Tadashi figured it out pretty quickly, but we both agreed that it was better to let you come to this conclusion on your own. Otherwise you might feel like you were just a tool to get to the others.”

 

“That’s how I felt anyway,” Kei mumbled.

 

“I’m sorry, love,” Daichi said, coming to lean against the wall next to Kei. “I’m sorry you felt that way, and I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. I genuinely thought this was the best course of action.”

 

“I get it,” Kei said. “Who else knows?”

 

“Tadashi and Suga,” said Daichi. “It was Suga’s idea initially, but he wasn’t sure he was the best person to get it started. We both agreed it had to start with you, or else you would find a way to leave yourself out, and that would be miserable for all of us. Tadashi figured out that we were courting him right away, and decided to let it run its course. He came to me as soon as he figured out he liked Kageyama, and we talked through what we wanted to happen with the team. I get the feeling Kinoshita knows something’s up, but I don’t know what he knows. And that’s everything.”

 

“Thank you,” Kei said.

 

“For what?” Daichi asked.

 

“For being honest with me,” Kei said. “Even though you thought it might scare me off. I appreciate it, more than you know.”

 

“I know you do,” Daichi sighed. “I should have been honest with you at the beginning.”

 

“It’s not like you lied to me,” Kei said. “You just didn’t tell me everything that was on your mind. It’s fine.”

 

“So, are we okay?” Daichi asked. Kei smiled at him.

 

“We’re okay.”

 

-

 

The problem with wooing Kageyama was that it meant Kei had to _woo Kageyama_. Kei was beyond disgusted with the idea.

 

“What does he even like? Besides volleyball?” Kei asked Yamaguchi while they were supposed to be doing their homework.

 

“Lots of things,” Yamaguchi said without looking up from his English translations. “He likes…”

 

“Don’t say milk,” Kei warned. “Or meat.”

 

“I wasn’t going to,” Yamaguchi huffed. “I was going to say dogs. And strategy games, he’s surprisingly good at those. And he likes cooking. And food in general. And languages. Did you know he speaks German?”

 

“He what?” Kei asked. Yamaguchi nodded.

 

“That’s why English is so hard for him,” he said. “It’s his third language, not his second. All the teachers teach as if you’ve never learned another language before, but Kageyama’s brain doesn’t work that way.”

 

“Why the hell does he speak German?” Kei asked.

 

“Something about his parents living there for a year when he was a kid,” Yamaguchi said. “He kept up the language skills in case they ever move back. He sees no reason to learn another language because he thinks he’ll only end up in Germany.”

 

“That is the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” Kei told him. Yamaguchi grinned to himself.

 

“It is,” he said, sounding utterly smitten. “He’s a weird guy.”

 

“You’re gross,” Kei commented.

 

“You’re grosser,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“Nuh-uh,” Kei whined.

 

“Yeah-huh.” Kei laughed. Yamaguchi smiled at him, a smile meant just for Kei and all the history between the two of them. “I’m really proud of you, Tsukki,” he said.

 

“Why’s that?” Kei asked, pretending to immerse himself in his math homework.

 

“Because you’re taking all this so well,” he said. “Your feelings for Tobio, the idea of the whole team getting together, all of it. You haven’t had one meltdown since the breakup with Daichi. You’re being honest with yourself, and it’s nice to see.”

 

“Since when did you become my therapist?” muttered Kei, his cheeks going hot.

 

“Since I became best friends with the most fucked up human being I’ve ever met,” Yamaguchi said cheerfully. Kei reached across the table and shoved him on the shoulder. Yamaguchi launched himself across the table at Kei, knocking them both to the floor. They wrestled for a moment, before Yamaguchi had Kei pinned. Kei looked up at him with his mouth going dry and his hands growing shaky. Yamaguchi licked his lips and stared down at Kei hungrily. Then he leaned down and kissed him.

 

Kei’s lips parted immediately, inviting Yamaguchi in to explore and be explored in return. Yamaguchi groaned against Kei’s mouth, lowering some of his body weight onto Kei. It was a heady pressure, an all-containing warmth. Yamaguchi’s tongue twined with Kei’s and all at once heat shot through Kei’s body.

 

Kei pulled away from Yamaguchi and let his head drop back onto the floor. Yamaguchi continued kissing Kei, down the side of his face to his neck. Kei was starting to get aroused, and that was something he couldn’t let happen. Not when they hadn’t talked about sex and what it would mean for their relationship.

 

“Yama- _Tadashi_ ,” Kei croaked, wishing he could grab Yamaguchi by the hair or the shoulder, to push him away or pull him closer. But Yamaguchi had him pinned by the wrists and he couldn’t get away even if he wanted to.

 

“I want you,” Yamaguchi growled. Then he shook his head, collapsing completely on top of Kei. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry,” Kei said, nudging the top of Yamaguchi’s head with his nose. “I just. Have you talked to Kageyama about… this stuff?” Yamaguchi nodded.

 

“He’s okay if the three of us have sex, but he doesn’t want to yet. I told him we’re all virgins, but that I wanted to have sex with you guys. I’m sorry, I know you’re not ready-”

 

“Call Daichi,” Kei interrupted.

 

“What?”

 

“Call Daichi,” Kei repeated. “If we’re going to do this, he needs to have the chance to be in on it. Or to say he’s not comfortable with it. Either way, he needs to be informed.”

 

“Tsukki, you-”

 

“I love you, Tadashi,” Kei said. “And I want to make love to you.”

 

“Oh my god, Tsukki, you’re such a dork,” Yamaguchi laughed. But he climbed off of Kei and went to get his phone out of his bag. Kei stared at the ceiling and took deep breaths through his nose to try and calm himself down. There was no guarantee Daichi would give the okay to this, and anyway, this decision needed to be made with a level head, not in the heat of the moment. Yamaguchi called Daichi and Kei translated his thoughts to English to try and stem the flow of heat through his body. It mostly worked.

 

Yamaguchi hung up the phone and crawled back over to Kei. He lay on Kei’s chest and Kei ran his fingers through Yamaguchi’s hair, closing his eyes and letting the darkness behind his eyelids take up his entire being. They stayed like that until there was a knock on the door and Yamaguchi left to let Daichi in. Kei stayed where he was until the footsteps on the stairs forced him to sit upright. He began putting their homework away as Yamaguchi let Daichi into his room.

 

“What’s up, Tsukishima?” Daichi asked, sitting down on Yamaguchi’s bed. Kei finished clearing the table of papers and pushed it into its usual spot on the wall. He knelt in the middle of the room, staring at Daichi’s knees, not sure how to phrase his question. Yamaguchi knelt beside him and took his hand. Daichi slid off the bed to sit on his other side, a pillar of support. Kei took a deep breath.

 

“I want to have sex with you two,” he blurted.

 

“What?” Daichi asked. “I thought-”

 

“Sorry,” Kei mumbled. “I meant to be less… uncouth about this. But I needed to have this conversation with you before things got out of hand with any of us. So. Daichi-san, Yamaguchi, how do the two of you feel about having sex with me?”

 

“Tsukki, you know I want to,” Yamaguchi said. “And Daichi-san, I’ve already told Kageyama about that… desire.” Yamaguchi made a face at his own word choice. “Anyway, the point is, there’s no objections on that front. And certainly none on mine.”

 

“I thought you weren’t ready, Kei,” Daichi said, dropping his forehead onto Kei’s shoulder like it was all he could do to keep himself upright. “I thought we were waiting.”

 

“We still can,” Kei said, quickly. “If you’re not ready, there’s no pressure. Yamaguchi and I can do it alone, or we can hold off altogether. It’s no problem either way. I just wanted to know how you felt before I made any decisions that could impact our relationship.”

 

“Kei,” Daichi said softly. “Kei, Kei, Kei. When did you get so grown up?”

 

“You sound like my brother,” Kei mumbled.

 

“Gross,” Yamaguchi laughed. Daichi pulled his face out of Kei’s shoulder at last, and he was smiling.

 

“Okay,” Daichi said. “If this is really what you want, if you’re really okay with this, then I am too.”

 

“Are you just saying that because you think it’s what we want to hear?” Yamaguchi asked. Daichi shook his head.

 

“I’m saying that because it’s what I want- have wanted- for a while now. I want you two.” Kei looked at Daichi fully, and found his eyes swirling with some unreadable emotion.

 

“Daichi?” Kei whispered.

 

“I’m just happy you guys trust me with this,” Daichi said. “That you’re being open and honest with me. And that you want to share this experience with me.” A shadow crossed his face. “But, remember, I’m almost eighteen. Are you sure you both want to be with someone so much older than you?”

 

“You’re two years older than us, Daichi-san,” Yamaguchi droned. “You’re not thirty or anything weird like that.”

 

“You’re a teenager just as much as the two of us,” Kei agreed. “As long as you’re comfortable with it, so am I.”

 

“Okay,” Daichi said. “How do you want to…”

 

“Oh my god,” Kei said, covering his face with his hands. Daichi laughed at him.

 

“If you can’t even talk about sex, how can you expect to have it?” he asked. Kei glared at him between his fingers.

 

“I was expecting to just let the evening unfold naturally,” he said, enunciating every word through gritted teeth. “Not to beat the romance out of it with a baseball bat.”

 

“Tsukki’s sensitive,” Yamaguchi said lightly. “It’s best to ease him into things.”

 

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Kei muttered. Yamaguchi just grinned at him.

 

“I think,” Yamaguchi said, leaning across Kei to cup Daichi’s cheek, “he wanted to start like this.” And then Yamaguchi was kissing Daichi, and it was the single hottest thing Kei had ever seen in his life. Yamaguchi draped himself across Kei’s lap, one hand petting through his curls and the other twisted in Daichi’s t shirt as he slipped his tongue between Daichi’s lips. Kei’s throat went dry as he watched the way Daichi moaned and clutched at Yamaguchi’s shoulders, kissing back with everything he had in him. Kei took a deep breath to steady himself, and leaned back to watch.

 

It was going to be an interesting night.

 

-

 

Kei woke in the early hours of the morning, comfortably sore and feeling too big for his body. He rolled over, breaking Daichi’s hold on him, to snuggle up to Daichi’s chest. He giggled, too giddy to leave the feeling building up inside himself.

 

“What’re you so happy about?” Daichi grumbled, re-wrapping his arms around Kei and pulling him closer. Kei giggled louder.

 

“I love you,” he said.

 

“I know,” Daichi replied, ever patient.

 

“And I love Tadashi.”

 

“And Tadashi loves you.”

 

“And I love Kageyama.”

 

“Really? That’s a new one.” Kei hid his face in Daichi’s chest.

 

“Okay, maybe not love. Not yet, anyway,” he said. “But something like it? I like him, I know that much now. And someday, I can see us all being together. All of us.”

 

“Really?” Daichi’s voice, though soft, sounded excited. “Like, all the others, too?”

 

“I can see what you like so much about them,” Kei said. “And I can see myself taking this risk. Which is weird? Because I’ve never wanted to take risks before. But now…”

 

“Now is all that matters,” Daichi said softly. “If you feel that way, it’s probably best to act on that, before the feeling begins to rot you from the inside out.”

 

“That’s a gross way of putting it,” Kei remarked. Daichi shrugged.

 

“It’s true. Too many feelings with no outlets does not make for a happy Kei.” Daichi yawned, tucking his head on top of Kei’s.

 

“Tomorrow, I’m going to start convincing Kageyama to date me,” Kei decided. “No more beating around the bush.”

 

“Tsukki, I’m really proud of you for coming to this decision, but would you kindly shut the fuck up and go to sleep?” Yamaguchi asked from Daichi’s other side, his words slurred with exhaustion. Kei ducked his head.

 

“Sorry, Yamaguchi.”

 

“Goodnight, Tsukki.”

 

“Goodnight,” Kei replied. He snuggled closer to Daichi and let the warmth and the comfort of his boyfriends take him away to the shores of sleep. In a few hours, he would wake again and his life would begin anew.


	5. Chapter 5

Tobio was dying. It was the only explanation for why his head felt like it was trying to turn itself inside-out and his nose was runny and stuffed up at the same time and everything felt wooshy and weak. He had barely managed to call the school and tell them he wouldn’t be in that day before collapsing on the couch with as many blankets as he could find.

 

He woke several hours later with a renewed headache and the sense that someone was pounding on the inside of his skull. Or maybe it was the door they were pounding on. Tobio made the arduous climb to his feet and shuffled over to the front door, wincing at the bright evening light streaming in when he did so. The light was broken up by a silhouette, much taller and more slender than the one he had expected.

 

“You’re not Tadashi,” he croaked, squinting up at Tsukishima.

 

“Very perceptive,” Tsukishima said. “Are you going to let me in or not?”

 

“Why should I?” Tobio asked, not out of spite like he usually would have, but out of simple curiosity. Tsukishima brandished something in Tobio’s face, though Tobio’s vision was too blurry to make out what it was.

 

“I brought your homework,” Tsukishima said. “Tadashi is practicing with Shimada-san, so he couldn’t bring it himself.” There was something in Tsukishima’s voice that made Tobio pause, made him wonder if it was a lie or not. But it didn’t really matter. The point was, Yamaguchi wasn’t there like Tobio had hoped he would be, and instead he was stuck with the salty string bean. He scowled as he shuffled away from the door.

 

Tsukishima looked around curiously as he toed off his shoes and walked into the living room. Tobio found himself suddenly self-conscious. There wasn’t much to look at, really. His parents kept the apartment bare of clutter, to say the least. And since they were seldom home, always on business trips overseas, there were few personal effects scattered about. Really, other than the nest of blankets on the couch, there was little sign anyone lived there at all.

 

Tsukishima set the packet of papers down on the coffee table and stepped up to Tobio. He considered him, not with a scowl or a sneer as he normally did, but with something akin to concern on his face. Then he reached up and placed a hand on Tobio’s forehead.

 

“Oh, no, you’re not doing any homework tonight,” he said, dropping his hand. “Get back on the couch and under those blankets. I’ll make you some tea.”

 

“Why?” Tobio sniffed. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him.

 

“Because I told you to,” he said. “Now go, before I pick you up and carry you over there.”

 

“You can’t pick me up,” Tobio protested.

 

“You wanna find out the hard way?” Tsukishima asked, leaning down menacingly. Tobio glared at him for a moment, then did as he was told. Once Tsukishima deemed Tobio suitably bundled, he went into the kitchen and started poking around. Tobio listened to him with his eyes closed, wondering exactly what was happening.

 

Tsukishima emerged a few minutes later with a cup of tea and a smile, a soft, satisfied thing. He sat down on the couch next to Tobio and handed him the tea cup, propping him upright as he drank gingerly. It was probably the best cup of tea Tobio had ever had, but he was too stuffed up to really appreciate it. Tsukishima watched him until the entire cup was gone, then guided him to lie with his head in Tsukishima’s lap. Tsukishima grabbed the remote and turned on the sports channel, where there just happened to be a volleyball game going. He ran his fingers through Tobio’s hair and settled in to watch.

 

“What are you doing?” Tobio asked.

 

“What does it look like?” Tsukishima scoffed. “I’m watching the game.”

 

“No, I mean…” Tobio let the sentence drift off. He was too tired to really bother with the inner workings of Tsukishima’s mind. And besides, it was warm and comfortable here. He began to drift off to sleep, lulled by Tsukishima’s fingers through his hair and the sounds of volleyball on the television.

 

When he woke again, Tsukishima was still there. He had long since turned the television off and fallen asleep himself. Tobio looked up at him and wondered if he had always looked so… so young. There was no trace of a scowl on his face, no sign of a displeased wrinkle between his eyebrows. His expression was smooth, his mouth slightly open and his eyes gently closed. Tobio found himself wanting to kiss those slack lips, to find out what they felt like, if they were smooth or chapped, if they would kiss back forcefully or let Tobio have his way. He shook his head. It was the fever talking, he knew. But either way, the right thing to do would be to tell Yamaguchi about this fever dream, and hope he understood it was nothing more than that. Tobio let himself fall back to sleep on Tsukishima’s lap.

 

-

 

Tadashi couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing.

 

“It’s not funny,” Kageyama groaned, letting his head fall onto his desk. Tadashi reached out and ruffled Kageyama’s hair.

 

“It’s a little funny,” he said.

 

“I thought this feeling would go away when the fever left, but now all I want to do is kiss him,” Kageyama whined. “Every time I see him I have to hold myself back. Why is this happening to me?”

 

“Crushes happen to almost everyone, Tobio,” Tadashi said soothingly. “It’s a perfectly normal thing.”

 

“Most people with crushes don’t also have boyfriends,” Kageyama grumbled. Tadashi made a soft sound in the back of his throat.

 

“Do you think it was abnormal when I had a crush on you before we started dating?” he asked. “I had _two_ boyfriends, you know.”

 

“No, that wasn’t abnormal, that was- _It_ _’s not the same!_ ” Tadashi laughed again.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Tobio,” he said, reaching out to ruffle his hair again. “Now, let’s work on your math homework, before it’s due next period, okay?”

 

Kageyama grumbled his assent and they pulled out their math notes and set to work. All the while, Tadashi couldn’t help but think how happy Tsukishima would be if he could hear their conversation. He’d probably get that dopey little grin on his face that he hated so much but Tadashi loved so much more. The one he always tried to hide with his hand or a scowl, but never quite managed to cover up. The one he inherited from his mother.

 

It was rather similar to the smile Kageyama had on his face right now, as he clearly thought about Tsukishima. Tadashi tapped his pencil on Kageyama’s paper and the smile fell away, but the light was still there in his eyes. It made Tadashi more than a little hopeful for the future of the team, knowing that its two most cantankerous members could be reduced to a pile of mush when thinking about each other. Tadashi would never let either of them live this down.

 

-

 

It was after evening practice on a Thursday afternoon when Kei lost control. Kageyama had been in rare form that day, spiking, setting, serving like he never had before. And every time the ball crashed down on the other side of the net, he would look to Kei for approval.

 

It wasn’t like he even knew he was doing it. His eyes would just flick to Kei for an instant before darting away to see what Hinata or Tanaka or Daichi was doing. But Kei saw every time, filed each glance away next to the longing in his ribcage and the itching in his fingers.

 

He made it all the way through practice until they were changing in the locker room. The first years had clean up duty, and so Kei and Kageyama were the last ones left to change. Finally, Kei could take it no longer.

 

“Kageyama,” he said, dropping his shirt and stepping toward him. Kageyama looked up and then away, eyes scanning the locker room as though looking for backup.

 

“What do you want, Tsukishima?” Kageyama’s voice was shaky, like he was nervous. Kei reached him at last and reached a hand out to cup Kageyama’s cheek. He trailed said hand down Kageyama’s body to rest at his hip, placing its twin on Kageyama’s other hip. Kageyama swallowed hard.

 

“I want you,” Kei said at last. He paused to give Kageyama time to run away, but the only light in Kageyama’s eyes was confusion and a dash of hope. So Kei stepped forward, backing Kageyama into the lockers, then leaned down and kissed him.

 

It was a hard kiss, all of Kei’s pent up frustration with Kageyama channeled through his lips and tongue. It was a deep kiss, a chance to take his time and really explore Kageyama. It was a long kiss. Kei pulled away first when he was satisfied that Kageyama got the message. Kageyama stared up at him like a deer in the headlights. Then a blush spread across his cheeks, up to his ears and down under the collar of his shirt.

 

“What the hell was that for?” he shouted. He was adorable, sputtering and red in the face and looking absolutely edible.

 

“What do you think it was for?” Kei returned. He leaned in for another kiss.

 

“You can’t just- _Augh!_ ” Kageyama turned on his heel and stormed out of the locker room, passing a shell-shocked Ennoshita. Kei and Ennoshita stared at each other for a moment before Ennoshita’s face turned red and he too ran out of the locker room. Kei slumped against the lockers and pressed a hand to his lips, smiling.

 

-

 

Chikara ran as fast as he could past the rest of the team. He could hear them shouting after him, but if he slowed for even a second it would give one of them - probably Tanaka or Hinata - the chance to catch him, and that was a thing he absolutely could not allow to happen. He ran all the way to the station and didn’t stop until he was absolutely sure no one was following him. When he got to the tracks he skidded to a stop and looked around wildly. There were no trains coming so he crossed over and started walking toward his house.

 

He didn’t allow himself to think. Thinking would get him into trouble, would cause all the feelings bubbling around in his stomach to boil over in a hot and angry mess. So he focused on putting one foot in front of the other and slowing his breathing until he was standing at his own front door. He took a deep breath and slapped on a serene smile before stepping inside.

 

“I’m home,” he called.

 

“Welcome home, Chikara,” said his mother from the couch. Chikara took off his shoes and put on house slippers before padding into the living room to kiss her on the cheek. “How was your day at school?”

 

Tsukishima and Kageyama. In the locker room. With their tongues down each other’s throats.

 

“Uneventful,” Chikara said with a smile. “Though, I do have a lot of homework. I should head upstairs and get started with that.”

 

“Okay, sweetie, have fun,” his mother said absently, already turned back to her television program. Chikara picked up his bag and climbed the stairs to his bedroom.

 

He had never told his mother about so many things. How many of his friends were queer. How many of his friends were dating each other. And how desperately he wished he were as brave as them. Because he could never tell her how much his heart pounded and his stomach fluttered when he looked at some of his teammates, especially…

 

Especially no one, he told himself firmly. There was no one on the team who made him feel like he could fly, just by smiling at him with those wickedly sharp teeth and those kind, but enthusiastic eyes. Because even if he could admit it to himself, there was no way his mother would accept it if he brought home a boy. Especially _that_ boy, the one with the smile and the eyes and the muscles and the red imprints on his skin from the edge of his binder. Chikara’s mother would never understand, and it would only end badly for both of them.

 

But seeing Kageyama and Tsukishima together like that, it did things to Chikara. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, it was hot. They were hot. They made Chikara feel hot under his skin. Made the room spin and his knees feel weak. Just thinking about them caused butterflies to erupt in Chikara’s stomach. He collapsed face-first on his bed with a groan, trying not to think anymore. But the image of Tsukishima’s hands on Kageyama’s hips kept flooding his mind, making him wonder what it would be like to hold or be held like that. To not care what his mother thought and just let himself be real for once in his life.

 

He thought of Kageyama’s big blue eyes and how they would soften with gentleness at the most unexpected of times. He thought of Tsukishima and the way he would light up with passion when no one saw it coming. He thought of the way either one of them could be so different from what they normally were when they were with someone in _that_ context.

 

He tried to stop the thought from coming. He did everything in his power to keep it from happening. But he couldn’t help but think of strong, calloused hands and sharp brown eyes filled with trust and humor. He couldn’t help but think of shared smiles and laughter, of shouts of glee and challenge and excitement. He couldn’t help but think of strong legs leading up to narrow hips and a muscled stomach, of broad shoulders and a slender waist.

 

He couldn’t help but think of Tanaka.

 

He screwed his eyes shut and stuffed his face into his pillow, wishing he were anyone else but him. Someone who could have what they wanted, who didn’t want the wrong things. Not that it was wrong for other people to want that, just… It was wrong for Chikara, for Chikara’s family. There was no way his mother would ever see things his way, and there was no way for him to go against her. Not when they had both already lost so much when his father had died.

 

Chikara rolled over and stared at the ceiling. There was nothing for it. He would just have to ignore these feelings whenever they came up, and pray that eventually, they would stop coming up altogether.

 

It was going to be a long night.

 

-

 

Tobio wasn’t panicking. He knew what panicking felt like. Panicking was the cold, clear-headed knowledge that no matter what he did, nothing would turn out right. Panicking was a crack in the floor between him and the rest of the team, was a ball falling where there was no spiker to launch it to the other side of the net. Panicking felt nothing like this.

 

This was something else entirely. It was blind terror and the knowledge that he had no idea what was going on. It was the pain in his stomach from breathing too hard and the pounding in his head from thinking too fast.

 

It was the tingle on his lips where Tsukishima had kissed him.

 

He wasn’t panicking. He just needed a little help. But from whom? No one on the team would do, they all knew Tsukishima too well. It would be too mortifying. But at the same time, no one outside the team would understand the nuances of Tsukishima’s actions, and the reasons Tobio ran away. Unless they were used to dealing with someone cold, someone with fake smiles and cutting sarcasm. Someone like…

 

Tobio dug his phone out of his bag and dialed a number he hadn’t called since he first got it back in middle school. Iwaizumi picked up after the third ring.

 

“Kageyama? Is everything okay?” Immediately, Tobio felt foolish. Why would he bother Iwaizumi with something stupid like a stupid crush on his stupid teammate? Why should Iwaizumi care?

 

“Sorry,” Tobio said gruffly. “Wrong number.” He went to hang up the phone.

 

“Wait,” Iwaizumi shouted, and Tobio hesitated, putting the phone back up to his ear. “Tell me what’s going on.” It wasn’t an order, more of a question, but something told Tobio that it wasn’t in his best interest to refuse. He sighed.

 

“I’m having…” He cringed. “…Boy problems.”

 

“Oh. _Oh._ Okay. What’s up?” Tobio could hear Iwaizumi shuffle around on the other side of the line, could hear a door closing and Iwaizumi’s soft breath. It felt right, then, that this was the senpai he would chose for this particular problem. He took a deep breath.

 

“So there’s this middle blocker on my team,” he said. Iwaizumi chuckled.

 

“Hinata, right?” he asked. Tobio made a face.

 

“No, the other one. Tsukishima.”

 

“Oh. Huh. Okay, go on.”

 

“Anyway, so, Tsukishima’s an asshole. He’s literally the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. He’s so rude, and snide, and- and-”

 

“And an asshole?” Iwaizumi prompted.

 

“And an asshole!” Tobio agreed.

 

“Sounds to me like you don’t mind that so much,” Iwaizumi told him. Tobio shook his head.

 

“That’s the thing. I don’t. I’m already dating his best friend, who he’s dating too, and the captain, but, ever since this one time when he took care of me when I was sick, I’ve wanted to kiss him? And today, he did. Kiss me, that is. Just. Backed me into a corner and kissed me. And I hated it, because it was just another one of his games, but at the same time I loved it, because it was kissing Tsukishima, which I’ve wanted to do for forever now.” Tobio trailed off, looking helplessly at his ceiling.

 

“And let me guess,” Iwaizumi said. “You don’t want to lose face in front of this guy, because you two have some sort of pissing contest going on, but at the same time you want to be vulnerable, but you’re scared to because he could hurt you if you are.”

 

“Yes!” Tobio cried.

 

“You said you were already dating his best friend. Have you talked to him about this?” Iwaizumi asked.

 

“I told him I wanted to date Tsukishima. And probably the captain too. He kept encouraging me to go for it, but I don’t think he meant for this to happen? I don’t think he really understands that I want to date people other than him.”

 

“Why not?” Iwaizumi asked. “If he’s already dating this Tsukishima and your captain, maybe he realizes exactly what you mean.”

 

“But it’s not-”

 

“Not what?” Iwaizumi interrupted. “Not natural? Not normal? I hate to break it to you, Kageyama, but it very much is both of those things.”

 

“Why aren’t you freaking out over this?” Tobio asked, suddenly insecure. “I just told you I’m dating one guy and I want to date two more, and you’re just taking it in stride.”

 

“Don’t tell anyone I told you this, okay?” Iwaizumi said. “But all the first and second years on my team are kind of in the same situation. I mean, they’re all dating one another. And it was hard in the beginning, yeah, and Oikawa and the other third years and I didn’t understand, but with time it all worked out for the better. It’s how the five of them are meant to be. If you’re meant to be with more than one person, then I understand completely. Even if it’s an entire volleyball team of people, just so long as you’re happy and they’re happy and everyone is aware and consenting.”

 

Tobio nodded, though he knew Iwaizumi couldn’t see. Aloud, he said, “Thank you, Iwaizumi-san. I think you may have solved my problem.”

 

“Good,” Iwaizumi said. “If you ever need advice, or just someone to talk to, I’m here. And Oikawa is too, though you may have to deal with some bullshit before you get anything decent out of him.”

 

“I’ll remember that,” Tobio promised. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Iwaizumi said, and the line went dead. Tobio sat with the phone held to his ear for a moment longer, thinking. Then he took a deep breath and opened a new message.

 

ME: [Can you meet me in the park by the school?]

 

He got a prompt response.

 

YAMAGUCHI-12: [Is everything okay? Tsukki has been acting weird all afternoon but I can’t get him to tell me what’s going on.]

 

ME: [Ill tell you when you get there]

 

YAMAGUCHI-12: [Okay. I’ll be right there.]

 

Tobio shoved his phone in his pocket and changed into some running gear. He didn’t bother leaving a note; his parents wouldn’t be home until that weekend. He locked the door behind him and started jogging toward the school.

 

-

 

Tadashi was sitting in a swing when Kageyama arrived. He was silent, bending over to catch his breath with his hands on his knees. He dropped into the swing next to Tadashi and for a long stretch of time, neither said a word. Then Kageyama reached out to take Tadashi’s hand.

 

“Whatever it is, it’s okay,” Tadashi said softly. Kageyama shook his head.

 

“I know you think that,” he said. He shook his head again. Tadashi squeezed his hand.

 

“Just tell me,” he murmured. “Get it over with, like ripping off a bandage.”

 

Kageyama took a deep breath. He looked at Tadashi, and then away. Then he said, “Tsukishima kissed me.”

 

“Oh.” It wasn’t what Tadashi had expected. He had thought Kageyama had bad news, something earth-shattering, like that he was leaving, or that he wanted Tadashi to leave him. “Okay?”

 

“I know it’s not a big deal to you, but it is to me,” Kageyama said. And suddenly, Tadashi understood.

 

“Oh, my love,” he murmured, slipping out of his swing to kneel in the grass in front of Kageyama. He took both of Kageyama’s hands in his and held them to his face. “There’s nothing to fear from Tsukki. He’s mean, sure, but I promise you he means it when he treats you well. And he wouldn’t have kissed you if he didn’t want you to kiss him back. He likes you, Tobio, even if he can’t find the words to tell you that.”

 

“How can you be sure?” Kageyama asked. Tadashi gave him a look.

 

“I’m his best friend, remember? I’ve known him longer than almost anyone. Trust me when I say he wouldn’t kiss you as part of a game, or a trick. He’s not that kind of person.”

 

“Isn’t he?” Kageyama’s voice was small, and he was even smaller, curling in on himself like he could block out the world with his shoulders.

 

“Oh, sweetheart, no,” Tadashi said. “Deep down, he’s just as scared as you are. He hides it by being prickly and mean, but I promise you, he’s genuinely sweet once you get past that. And he wants you to get past that, believe me. You, specifically.”

 

“Why me, though?” Kageyama asked him. “He’s got you and the captain. What would he want with me?”

 

“You’re just like him, you know that?” Tadashi laughed. “He’s probably asking himself the same question, about you.”

 

“But _why_?” Kageyama insisted.

 

“You know, sometimes I doubt we’ll ever genuinely know why. I find it’s best to just accept it and enjoy it while you have it.” Tadashi smiled up at him. “You’re not going to get the answers you’re looking for in one night, you know.”

 

“Can I come over tonight?” Kageyama blurted. “Sorry, it’s just. My parents aren’t home still, and-”

 

“And you’re lonely and want to spend time with your wonderful boyfriend,” Tadashi finished for him. He grinned. “Come on,” he said. “If we hurry, we won’t miss dinner.”

 

-

 

Kei had thought that after the first kiss, his desire to absolutely devour Kageyama would subside. He had thought wrong. Every time he saw Kageyama now it was like a fire was rekindled in his stomach, burning stronger and hotter with each passing day.

 

He balled up his frustration one afternoon after watching Kageyama change out of the corner of his eye, and threw it at Daichi. They were the last ones in the locker room, since it was Daichi’s turn to lock up, and Kei watched the door shut behind the last of their teammates with a growing sense of dissatisfaction. He turned to Daichi and Daichi turned to him, a gleam in his eye that matched the swirling in Kei’s gut. Kei stepped forward and Daichi opened his arms for him.

 

The meeting of their lips was a collision of stars. Daichi’s fingers tangled in Kei’s hair and he groaned against Kei’s lips. For a moment, he pressed back against Kei with all the same rage and frustration Kei was offering him. Then he went pliant in Kei’s hold.

 

It was a giddy thing, the power Kei held over him in that moment. He had the sense that he could do anything to Daichi, and Daichi would let him, only so that Kei would feel better. Love flooded his heart and he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead on Daichi’s shoulder and trying not to cry.

 

“I know,” Daichi murmured, running his hand up and down Kei’s spine. “I know, Kei. It’s okay.”

 

“I love you,” Kei gasped. Daichi made a soft sound in the back of his throat. “I love him,” Kei added.

 

“I know you do,” Daichi said. “I think it’s time you confront him about it. You’re not going to get anywhere if you keep doing what you’ve been doing. Be honest and blunt.”

 

“Not my forte,” Kei muttered. Daichi chuckled.

 

“I know it’s not,” he said. He knocked his head gently against the side of Kei’s. “Just give it a try, okay? You never know what will happen.”

 

“Okay,” Kei murmured. “Okay.” He pulled away from Daichi and scrubbed a hand across his face. “Tomorrow,” he said.

 

“Tomorrow,” Daichi agreed. “And Kei?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Don’t obsess over it tonight, okay? Just let what happens happen.” Kei nodded and scooped up his bag. Daichi did the same and they made their way out of the locker room.

 

Kageyama was waiting at the base of the stairs. He caught sight of Daichi and blushed, but stood his ground. Kei glanced behind him at Daichi then stepped forward.

 

“I have something to talk to you about,” he said, at the same time that Kageyama blurted, “Go out with me!”

 

“What?” Kei asked, stepping back and bumping into Daichi.

 

“Both of you,” Kageyama said. “I want both of you to go out with me. I want to be poly- polyfi- That thing Yamaguchi keeps talking about.”

 

“Polyfidelitous?” Kei supplied.

 

“That,” Kageyama said. “So?”

 

“So, what?” Kei asked. Daichi dropped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, too tight. “Ow.”

 

“What Kei means is that we would love to go out with you,” Daichi said. “In fact, Kei was going to ask you out tomorrow morning, had you not beaten him to the punch.”

 

Kageyama blinked, staring at them blankly like he had no idea what to do now that he had succeeded in his task. Then he turned bright red.

 

“I, um. I,” he said, sputtering and staring anywhere but at Kei or Daichi. Kei rolled his eyes and stepped forward.

 

“I’m going to kiss you now, King,” he said. Kageyama stared at him like a trapped animal, then nodded wildly. Kei leaned down and sealed their lips together. Kageyama sputtered for a moment, then kissed him back. Kei cradled Kageyama’s head and tilted it gently to deepen the kiss. Strong arms wrapped around them both as Daichi came up behind Kageyama and pressed his lips to the back of Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama shivered in Kei’s arms and Kei pressed closer to him, drinking in every reaction he could. He ran his tongue along the seam of Kageyama’s lips, just to feel the way he went still, then began to shake. Finally, Kei took pity on him and pulled away.

 

“My turn,” Daichi purred, and oh, that tone in his voice sent heat coursing through Kei’s body. He turned Kageyama around and bent to hook his chin on his shoulder as Daichi leaned in to kiss him. He cocked his head to one side and listened for a moment, then grinned.

 

“Ya-ma-gu-chi,” he called. “Come out of there and come join the fun.” Yamaguchi appeared from behind a bush, looking sheepish and excited. Kei held a hand out toward him and he came over to join in their embrace, leaning up on his toes to kiss Kei on the cheek. “This was your idea, wasn’t it?” Kei asked, gesturing with his chin toward Kageyama.

 

“I promised to take him out for ice cream if it didn’t go well,” Yamaguchi hummed.

 

“Can we go out for ice cream anyway?” Kei asked. Yamaguchi looked at him with that light in his eye that made Kei want to retract the request, embarrassed. But his sweet tooth won out in the end and he stood his ground.

 

“Absolutely we can,” Yamaguchi said. “All of us, together.”

 

“All right, don’t get sappy on me,” Kei muttered, shoving Yamaguchi away. Kageyama and Daichi finally stopped trying to swallow each other’s faces and broke apart. Kei took one of Kageyama’s hands and Daichi took the other and together they walked down the path toward the foothill store. Kei pretended not to see the look on Coach Ukai’s face when they filed in and went straight for the ice cream cooler. He had enough to deal with without another adult ruining everything.

 

-

 

Kei walked to school in a line with all three of his boyfriends the next day. It was fun, making fun of Kageyama and being made fun of by Daichi and Yamaguchi, all while knowing that none of it meant a thing. It made Kei feel lighter than he had in a long time, and hungrier. Four separate times Kei made them stop on the way to practice by stopping to make out with one or another of them. By the time they reached the school, his lips were tingly and warm from the amount of kissing he had done.

 

He shoved Yamaguchi in the shoulder for some quip he’d made as he opened his shoe locker after practice, only to stop in his tracks. There was something there, sitting delicately beside his shoes, innocuous and all the more threatening for it. He pulled it out with shaking hands.

 

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked. “What’s that?”

 

“I don’t know,” Kei replied, showing Yamaguchi the envelope’s cover. “It just says ‘to Tsukishima’.”

 

“Well? Open it!” Yamaguchi said, tugging on Kei’s shoulder like a little kid. Kei shrugged him off with a laugh, but a part of him was still filled with fear. He slipped the envelope open and pulled out the note inside. He glanced at Yamaguchi, then began to read.

 

_Tsukishima,_

 

_I know this won_ _’t make any sense to you, but you have to trust me. I’m not here to do you any harm. Quite the opposite in fact. I wanted to let you know that there’s someone out there that admires you. Greatly admires you. Someone who thinks the world of you, and wishes you nothing but the best._

 

_I like you, Tsukishima. I have for quite a while now, and I just wanted you to know. I know you_ _’ve got a whole slew of boyfriends already (but don’t worry! I won’t tell anyone about them!), but I wanted you to know that there’s one more person out there who feels that way too._

 

_Forgive me if I don_ _’t put my name on this. I’m too shy to be outright with my feelings at this point, and frankly so are you. Neither one of us is ready for me to step forward, but I needed to make sure you knew there was someone else out there pining for you. Please don’t try to figure out who this is. It isn’t time yet._

 

_All my love,_

 

_-Me._

 

Kei read the note over twice more before he handed it to Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi read through it a few times, then handed it back with a grin.

 

“Tsukki,” he sang.

 

“Don’t,” Kei muttered.

 

“But Tsukki,” Yamaguchi protested, still grinning.

 

“I said don’t,” Kei said. He folded the note and stuffed it back into the envelope, but he was careful when he put it into his bag.

 

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said a third time. “You’ve got a secret admirer!”


	6. Chapter 6

Narita was doing that thing again, that thing where he was sad and lonely and trying not to let it show on his face. Hisashi frowned, passing a ball from one hand to another and trying to figure out what to do. He bit his lip and watched Narita watch Tsukishima and Kageyama bickering, and his heart broke a little bit. But then the strangest thing happened. Narita squared his shoulders and nodded to himself, clearly making a decision. Hisashi walked up behind him and cocked his head to one side.

 

“You’re about to do something reckless,” he said. Narita jumped, letting out a noise he would later deny was a squeak, and turned to face Hisashi.

 

“What?” he asked, one hand planted over his heart.

 

“You’re about to do something reckless,” Hisashi repeated. He smiled. “Good.”

 

“Good?”

 

“Yeah, good. I’m proud of you.” Narita shook his head, smiling.

 

“How do you even know?” he asked.

 

“You’ve got a look about you, like you’re a man on a mission,” Hisashi said. “I see the way you’re staring at those two, the way you’ve been staring at all four of them.” The way Narita had been staring at everyone on the team, really, but Narita didn’t need him pointing that out just yet. “So, how are you going to do it?” he asked.

 

“Do what?” asked Narita absently. Hisashi huffed at him.

 

“How are you going to ask the fearsome foursome out?” he asked. Then he blinked. “Or are you planning on asking someone else out?”

 

“How did you know I was-” Narita shook his head. “You can be scary sometimes,” he said.

 

“So? Is it the four of them, or one of your many other crushes?” Hisashi asked. Narita looked at him strangely, and for a moment Hisashi had the bizarre feeling Narita was about to ask _him_ out. But then the moment faded and Hisashi was left with the vague disappointment of having to wait a little while longer.

 

“It’s the four of them,” Narita said, turning back to face Tsukishima and Kageyama. They were past bickering now, sitting against the wall with their water bottles and talking quietly. Yamaguchi was having a heated discussion of some sort with Suga in one corner and Daichi was discussing something with Coach Ukai in the opposite. The four of them had a pull to them that linked them all together in Hisashi’s mind. Hisashi put a hand on Narita’s shoulder, knowing he was feeling it too.

 

“It’s gonna be okay,” Hisashi said.

 

“How do you know?” Narita muttered, though he leaned into Hisashi’s touch.

 

“I know things,” Hisashi laughed. “Things you can’t possibly imagine. Wonderful things.”

 

“Good things?” Narita asked.

 

“Great things,” Hisashi replied.

 

“Good. I could use a few good things in my life.”

 

“Aren’t I a good thing?” Hisashi asked. Narita turned to smile at him.

 

“You’re the best thing,” he said.

 

“So how are you going to do it?” Hisashi asked. Narita groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

 

“I don’t know,” he muttered. “I don’t want to approach all four of them at once, but I want all four of them. I don’t know what to do.”

 

“There there,” Hisashi cooed, rubbing at Narita’s head. “You’ll figure it out. Just give yourself some time. These things don’t fall into place overnight.”

 

“I know,” Narita sighed. “I wish they would. I wish I could just wake up and all these problems would be resolved.”

 

“Someday, they will be,” Hisashi said. “Now, go get your men.”

 

“Give me time,” Narita said. “I’m not ready.”

 

“If I give you time you’ll wait forever,” Hisashi whined.

 

“Two weeks,” Narita said.

 

“One day.”

 

“One week.”

 

“Three days.”

 

“Done.” Narita smiled at Hisashi, and Hisashi smiled back. Coach Ukai blew his whistle and Narita walked away, that smile still on his face.

 

-

 

The second note came almost a week after the first. Kei hadn’t expected a repeat occurrence. He had tucked the note under his pillow to read every night before bed, wondering who one earth could have written it. He had thought it would be a one-time thing, and that whoever ‘Me’ was they would sink back into obscurity and Kei would never hear from them again.

 

But then one day as he arrived at the school, Yamaguchi chattering his ear off about something or other, he opened his shoe locker to find another envelope, sitting innocuous as the first. This note had the same profusion of feelings as the first, talking about how smart Kei was, and how witty. It was common praise, and it should not have made Kei feel so light and airy. But here he was, grinning like an idiot as he handed Yamaguchi the note to read.

 

“Wow,” Yamaguchi said, reading the note over again. “Someone really likes you.”

 

“ _You_ really like me,” Kei said, shoving him gently.

 

“I do,” Yamaguchi said, his voice dripping with sweetness. Kei made a face.

 

“What’s going on?” Kageyama appeared around the corner, looking petulant. “You two were supposed to meet me by the door already.” Yamaguchi handed him the note and he scrunched up his nose, concentrating harder than he had to on reading it. Kei resisted the urge to kiss that scrunchy little nose. “Who would write a love note to Tsukishima?” he asked, and the urge fell away to utter annoyance.

 

“I don’t see anyone offering to write one for you, King,” he muttered, trying and failing to snatch the letter back. Kageyama blinked, and Kei watched the annoyance form on his face and then fall away. Kageyama took a deep breath and shook his head.

 

“Not what I meant,” he said. Kei cocked his head.

 

“Okay…” he said. Yamaguchi smacked him on the back. “Fine. What did you mean?”

 

“I meant who would write a love note to you?” Kageyama replied. Kei resisted the urge to slap himself - or Kageyama - on the forehead.

 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, love,” Yamaguchi said, putting a hand on each of their shoulders.

 

“I was just wondering who it is,” Kageyama said, throwing his hands up defensively.

 

“Oh,” Kei said. “There’s no signature. Just ‘Me’, whoever that is.”

 

“It’s gotta be someone on the team,” Kageyama said, handing the note back to Kei.

 

“What makes you say that?” Yamaguchi asked. There was something suspicious in his expression; it was too innocent, too curious. Kageyama evidently didn’t notice it.

 

“They mentioned the last three-on-three we played,” he said. Kei ignored him, too busy glaring at Yamaguchi.

 

“What do you know?” he demanded.

 

“What do you mean?” Yamaguchi returned.

 

“You know something, and I want to know what it is,” Kei said. His eyes widened slightly. “You know who it is,” he accused.

 

Before Yamaguchi could answer, the warning bell rang and they all jumped. Kei hadn’t realized how long they had been standing there. He shoved the note in his bag and stuffed his feet into his shoes before grabbing Kageyama and Yamaguchi by the arm. His perfect attendance record was not about to be ruined by one conversation.

 

-

 

Ryuunosuke knew he had been caught. He had just managed to dart out of sight when Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had come around the corner of the bank of shoe lockers, heart pounding and ears ringing. He had thought he had gotten away clean, but the way Yamaguchi had looked at him all day told him otherwise. It was all Ryuunosuke could do not to look too guilty. Finally, he managed to get Yamaguchi alone in a corner of the gym.

 

“Look, I know you saw me this morning,” he said before Yamaguchi could say a word. “Just. Don’t tell anyone, okay? Especially not Tsukishima.”

 

“Why on earth would I tell Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, looking at Ryuunosuke like he’d grown a second pair of arms. Ryuunosuke shrugged.

 

“Cause you’re his best friend, and his boyfriend?” he said. “Cause you have no reason not to?”

 

“But if I tell him, it’ll scare him off,” Yamaguchi said. “I assume that’s why you kept the notes anonymous in the first place?”

 

“Yeah, that was Chikara’s idea,” Ryuunosuke said, then immediately slapped a hand over his mouth.

 

“So wait, Ennoshita-san’s in on it too?” Yamaguchi asked, his eyes lighting up.

 

“Not- not like that,” Ryuunosuke said, waving his hands in the air in front of him. “He’s just helping me get the wording right. And he’s writing them, because my handwriting is too recognizable.”

 

“You mean your handwriting is atrocious,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“Yeah, that, whatever. So, you won’t tell Tsukishima?” he asked.

 

“No,” Yamaguchi said. “I want this to go well for you two. And Tsukki finding out you’re behind the notes will only ruin that. He’s shy, shier than he seems. I’m pretty proud of you for finding a way to court him without being face-to-face, actually.”

 

“Woah now, who said anything about courting?” Ryuunosuke asked, panic rising in his stomach. “I just wanted to let him know how I feel is all. No courting involved.”

 

“Sure,” Yamaguchi said with a shrug. “So you won’t mind if you never go out with him then.”

 

“I didn’t say that,” Ryuunosuke admitted. “I just. I’m not exactly not-shy myself, you know. I may put on a good front, but…”

 

“But what?” Yamaguchi asked, his head tilting adorably. Ryuunosuke took a deep breath through his nose.

 

“But I’m scared,” he said.

 

“Scared of what?”

 

“Scared that he won’t want to be with… someone like me.” Ryuunosuke didn’t want to look at the expression on Yamaguchi’s face, but he did anyway. What he didn’t expect to find there was anger, pure and holy.

 

“What, someone who’s trans?” Yamaguchi whispered fiercely. “You really think Tsukki’s that shallow?”

 

“No, I don’t think he’s _shallow_ ,” Ryuunosuke said. “It’s not about him at all. It’s about me. People don’t really like anyone who’s different.”

 

“Tsukki’s not people,” Yamaguchi said. “I dare you to find anyone on this team who wouldn’t jump at the chance to go out with you, trans or not.”

 

“You’re just saying that.” Ryuunosuke knew Yamaguchi wasn’t. But it was a hard thing, internalizing something so different from what he’d thought his entire life.

 

“I’m not,” Yamaguchi said, reaching out to clap Ryuunosuke on the shoulder. “Keep sending Tsukki those notes. You might be surprised at what happens.”

 

“You think so?” Ryuunosuke asked, trying not to sound as desperately hopeful as he felt. Yamaguchi only smiled at him. “Thanks, Yamaguchi.”

 

“You’re welcome, Tanaka-senpai,” Yamaguchi said sweetly. Ryuunosuke laughed loudly and reached up to ruffle Yamaguchi’s hair.

 

“You’re a little shit,” he said. Yamaguchi grinned.

 

“I’m your favorite little shit,” he said. Ryuunosuke laughed again.

 

“Go on,” he said, reaching around to slap Yamaguchi on the ass. “Noya-san’s waiting to practice receiving that serve with you.” Yamaguchi gave Ryuunosuke one last grin before jogging off to where Nishinoya was waiting for him. Ryuunosuke hummed to himself and thought about what he was going to put in his next note to Tsukishima. He caught Ennoshita’s eye across the gym and grinned. Ennoshita grinned back, then seemed to realize what he was doing and scowled at him instead. Ryuunosuke grinned wider.

 

-

 

Kazuhito was out of his mind with fear. The deadline that Kinoshita had set for him had arrived, and now he was faced with the choice of following through on his promise and taking the coward’s way out. The coward’s way was beginning to look better and better as Kazuhito considered his options.

 

He was so stuck in the spiral of his own thoughts that he almost didn’t notice Daichi coming up to him with a look of friendly concern on his face. Kazuhito gave him a weak smile that only made the concern grow more prominent.

 

“What’s wrong?” Daichi asked. Kazuhito glanced around to make sure they were alone, then sighed.

 

“If I tell you something, do you promise not to laugh at me?” Kazuhito asked. “Or hate me? Or anything like that?”

 

“Narita, what’s wrong?” Daichi asked again.

 

“Do you promise?” Kazuhito insisted.

 

“Of course I promise,” said Daichi. “Please tell me what’s going on. I’m getting worried here.”

 

“It’s nothing… bad,” Kazuhito said. “In fact, I’m probably making a much bigger deal out of it than it is.”

 

“I’m sure you’re right,” Daichi said. “Trust me when I say nothing is as bad as it seems.”

 

As soon as he said it, guilt coursed through Kazuhito. The whole team knew the story of how Daichi had been kicked out of his house, and how he hadn’t seen his little siblings since. And here Kazuhito was, worrying about something so very, very small.

 

“Okay,” Kazuhito said. He took a deep breath and decided to let it all out. “Here’s the truth. I have… feelings.”

 

“Feelings?” Daichi asked, his brow furrowing. “What kind of- _Oh._ Feelings. Got it. Feelings for whom?”

 

“For… for everyone,” Kazuhito admitted. “Everyone on the team. And for Yachi-san and Kiyoko-san. For everyone.”

 

“For me?” Daichi asked, so softly. Kazuhito nodded. Daichi took a shaky breath and reached out for Kazuhito’s hand. Kazuhito let him have it and watched with a shivering heart as Daichi drew his thumb across Kazuhito’s knuckles. “Okay,” he said. “We’ll have to talk to the others about this. To Yamaguchi, Kageyama, and- and Tsukishima.” Kazuhito caught the hesitation, but he wasn’t sure what it meant. He looked questioningly at Daichi, who shook his head. “I think it would be best if we start with just a date,” he said. “Nothing too big to handle, just something simple and small. That way no one gets scared off.”

 

“Oh.” Kazuhito figured he should have seen this coming. No one would want to just dive into a relationship with him after all. And a date, or even more dates than that, would be more than Kazuhito had ever dreamed of. Sure, it wasn’t what he wanted. Sure, he was desperate to be their boyfriend, to be Daichi’s boyfriend, and Tsukishima’s and Yamaguchi’s and Kageyama’s, but he was capable of controlling himself, of reigning in those wild impulses. A date would be nice, and even if that was all it ever was, Kazuhito could be happy with that. He smiled. “A date sounds lovely,” he said.

 

“Do you want to ask everyone out, or would you rather I set it up for you?” Daichi asked. He was still holding Kazuhito’s hand, so Kazuhito took it carefully back.

 

“Which do you think would be better?” Kazuhito asked. Daichi hummed.

 

“Probably best if I do the asking,” he said. “Or if I at least bring it up to Tsukishima first. Or better yet, if I bring it up to Yamaguchi and he brings it up to Tsukishima. Yeah, that’ll work.”

 

Kazuhito nodded. “Text me their answers, then,” he said, trying not to let his sadness color his voice.

 

“I will.” Daichi seemed happy, so Kazuhito drew on that happiness to give him a smile of his own.

 

“I have to go,” he said. And he left without another word.

 

-

 

Kei was not happy. He was the opposite of happy. He was… not happy.

 

“I’m not happy,” he grumbled. Yamaguchi glanced at him, then rolled his eyes.

 

“I thought you said you were fine with the idea of dating all the others,” he said, folding the shirt he was holding and picking up another. Kei was busy lying on the bed and decidedly not getting dressed for their date with Narita.

 

“It’s not that I’m not fine with dating him eventually,” Kei said. “I just didn’t expect it to happen now. I barely know Narita-san!”

 

“Oh, and no one can get to know each other on a date,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Kei grumbled.

 

“You’re only saying that because you know I’m right,” Yamaguchi sang. Kei threw a pillow at him. “Tsukki, just give him a chance,” Yamaguchi said, turning around. Kei swept his eyes appreciatively up and down Yamaguchi’s mostly-naked frame, and Yamaguchi glared at him. “Stop trying to change the subject,” he said.

 

“But you’re so hot,” Kei whined.

 

“I am, but that’s not the point,” Yamaguchi said. “The point is, Narita-san put himself out there and we owe it to him to give him a chance. Besides, you might find out you really like him, and you’ve got more in common than you think.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Kei said. Yamaguchi sighed and sat on the bed next to Kei.

 

“Tsukki, what’s really going on?” he asked, putting a hand on Kei’s shoulder. Kei avoided his eyes.

 

“Why does something have to be going on?” he asked. “Maybe I’m just unhappy.”

 

“You’re never _just_ unhappy,” Yamaguchi said. “There’s always a reason.” Kei stared at the ceiling.

 

“…I’m scared,” he admitted at last. “I don’t know Narita-san, so I don’t trust him. It’s a lot of vulnerability.”

 

“I know it is,” Yamaguchi said softly. “But you’re strong enough to go through with this. And Daichi and Tobio and I won’t let anything happen to you. We’re here for you, first and foremost, and Narita-san comes after. You are our top priority.”

 

“I’m not fragile,” Kei muttered.

 

“You kind of are,” Yamaguchi said. “But it’s okay. All the prettiest things are.”

 

Kei was silent for a moment, and in that space of time there came a knock on the front door. Daichi and Kageyama let themselves in while Yamaguchi put on a shirt at last and Kei stared at the ceiling.

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Kageyama asked, even as he climbed onto the bed to pull Kei’s feet into his lap.

 

“Do you want to tell them or do you want me to?” Yamaguchi asked, something dangerous in his voice. Kei bit his lip. “Tsukki’s worried about this date with Narita-san,” Yamaguchi said. “He feels vulnerable, and he’s not happy about it.”

 

“Why do you feel vulnerable?” Kageyama asked. “Do you think it’s going to go badly?”

 

“No,” Kei snapped.

 

“Don’t take this out on him, Kei,” Daichi warned. “It’s okay to be worried.”

 

“I’m not worried,” Kei insisted.

 

“Kei,” Daichi said, that Captain tone in his voice that made Kei cringe.

 

“Don’t talk to me like that,” he snapped.

 

The room went tense for a moment, then Daichi laughed softly. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t even realize I was doing it.” Kei felt about two inches tall.

 

“Sorry,” he said gruffly, sitting up. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knee.

 

“Tsukki, it’s going to be okay,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“I know it is,” Kei muttered. His watch beeped. “Come on,” he said. “The sooner we go the sooner we can leave.”

 

“If you’re not going to even attempt to enjoy yourself, you shouldn’t come,” Daichi said. Kei looked at him and he shrugged. “The point of this date is to see about easing Narita into our relationship. If you’re not going to try and do that then there’s no point in it.”

 

“Narita-san is a good guy, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said. “He deserves for you to give him a chance.”

 

“I _know_ ,” Kei said. “I’m just-”

 

“Oh,” Daichi said, like he had just realized something. “Kei, baby, you know we’re not going to replace you with him, right?”

 

“I know that,” Kei snipped, but he realized that a part of him had been worried about that very thing. “I know that,” he repeated, softer this time. Daichi smiled at him.

 

“You have my love, Kei, but more than that you have my heart and soul. No one can take that away from you.” Kei could feel the tips of his ears turning red under the weight of three sets of eyes. He stood abruptly, stalking across the room and out the door. He barely paused to let the other three catch up before shoving his feet into shoes and storming out the front door.

 

They met Narita near the same bookshop where Daichi and Kei were supposed to have their first date, back when the world was a simpler - and scarier - place. He was nervous, Kei could tell, but there was something sad about him too. Kei didn’t know him well enough to figure out what it was, but it made him uncomfortable. But then Yamaguchi greeted Narita with a hug and the sadness seemed to lift.

 

“Let’s go inside,” Daichi said, his hand in Kei’s back pocket as though to keep him tethered.

 

“Why do we have to go to a bookstore?” Kageyama asked, his nose wrinkled with distaste.

 

“Because the rest of us have some class,” Yamaguchi replied easily. Kei snickered, reaching out to loop an arm around Kageyama’s neck and drag him into the bookstore.

 

“Come on, King,” he said. “There are some good foreign books in here. Let’s see if we can find something to keep up your German.”

 

“My German is just fine,” Kageyama sniffed, but he let Kei pull him inside.

 

It wasn’t much of a date, Kei realized after several minutes of browsing the shelves. They had all split up, Yamaguchi headed for the young adult section, Kageyama for the foreign language books, Daichi to the true crime, and Narita to the biographies. Kei wandered around, not sure what he wanted to look for. He was just about to give up and head to the cafe when he bumped into Narita. Or, rather, almost tripped over Narita, who was crouched down talking to a little girl of about four or five. She looked up at Kei and her eyes widened in terror.

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Narita said. “This is my friend. He’s nice, trust me.”

 

“What’s going on here?” Kei asked, trying to keep his voice soft. He bent down so that he wasn’t towering over the two of them anymore.

 

“This is Echiko-chan,” Narita said. “She was just asking me if I knew where her mommy was.”

 

Kei stood up and looked around the shop. There was no sign of any frantic looking women with the same red curls as Echiko, or of any adult, really. Just Yamaguchi a few aisles away and Daichi climbing the stairs to the second level of the bookshop. Kei crouched down again. “Is your mommy in this bookshop?” he asked. Echiko nodded.

 

“Why don’t we go up to the front desk and see if they know where she is,” Narita suggested. Echiko nodded again, and let Narita take her by the hand and lead her out of the aisle. She held her other hand out expectantly for Kei, who took it after a moment. As they walked, Narita asked Echiko questions, about her favorite books and the princesses found therein. “I like princess stories too,” Narita told her. She wrinkled her nose.

 

“But you’re a boy,” she said.

 

“Oh, and boys can’t like princesses, hm?” He laughed. “Boys and girls can like whatever they want to like. I like stories about people overcoming hard times. Princesses just do it better than everyone else.”

 

“I suppose you’re right about that,” she said. Narita beamed at her and Kei felt a familiar flip in his heart. He shoved it aside.

 

Echiko’s mother arrived at the front desk at the same time they did. Narita accepted her thanks and refused her offer of compensation, detaching himself from her profusion of gratitude at length while Kei stood awkwardly off to one side. He laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

 

“Sorry,” Narita said.

 

“For what?” Kei asked.

 

“I can’t help myself when it comes to kids,” Narita told him. “I love them so much. And I can’t stand to see them upset.”

 

“Have you ever thought about kids of your own?” Kei found himself asking. He didn’t know why he was so curious, but the thought of Narita with a child of his own made Kei feel… Something. Something he wasn’t ready to name yet.

 

Narita rubbed at the back of his head and shrugged. “I suppose if I had the right person to raise them with,” he said. “Or people, or whatever. I don’t think I could do the single dad thing. Folks who do that put so much work into it, it amazes me. I don’t think I’m cut out for something like that.”

 

“I think you are,” Kei said. “You’re much better with kids than I am, anyway. Not that that’s saying much.”

 

“There you two are!” Kei and Narita turned to see Daichi, Kageyama, and Yamaguchi coming down the stairs toward them. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Daichi said.

 

“We got a little side tracked,” Narita said, an amused sparkle glinting in his eyes. Kei snorted.

 

“You could say that,” he agreed.

 

“Well, side track or no, they’re closing soon,” Daichi said. “Do either of you want something from the cafe? My treat.”

 

“I’m good,” Kei said, even though something from the cafe sounded delightful. Narita glanced at him with an indecipherable expression.

 

“I’ll pass, thank you, Daichi-san,” Narita said. “I should be getting home soon, anyway.”

 

“Okay. Thanks for coming out with us,” Daichi said. Narita nodded.

 

“I’ll see you all at practice on Monday,” he said, and with that he was gone, walking out of the store and leaving Kei feeling like he had missed something important.

 

“Wonder what that was all about,” he said.

 

“What what was all about?” Yamaguchi asked absently. Daichi and Kageyama were wandering off to the cafe already, so Kei shrugged and took Yamaguchi’s hand to follow.

 

“He didn’t seem weird to you?” he asked.

 

“Who, Narita-san?” Yamaguchi asked. “No, not at all. Why?”

 

“No reason,” Kei said with another shrug.

 

“You sure you don’t want anything from the cafe?” Yamaguchi asked.

 

“I’m sure,” Kei said.

 

“Okay.” Yamaguchi squeezed Kei’s hand, then hurried ahead to catch up with the other two. Kei put the strangeness of the day out of his head and followed.

 

-

 

Hisashi was lying on the couch with his math book spread across his face when the front door opened with a bang. He jumped, the book falling to the floor along with his reading glasses, and he groaned.

 

“You scared me,” he complained. Narita shut the door and took off his shoes without a word. “Hey, man, you okay?” Hisashi asked.

 

Narita slumped over to the couch and flopped onto it with a soft noise. His face was suspiciously blank, until all at once it scrunched up and he began to cry. Hisashi reached out for him. “Okay,” he murmured. “Okay, I’m here. What’s wrong? Did the date go badly?”

 

“No,” Narita sobbed. “It was fine. It was just fine. There was nothing great about it. They didn’t need me around at all! They don’t want me around, I can tell!”

 

“Woah, woah, what makes you say that?” Hisashi asked. “They agreed to this date, right?”

 

“Yeah, but that’s all they agreed to,” Narita said. “I thought this was my chance with them, but it turned out to be nothing. And Daichi-san made it abundantly clear that a date was all any of them wanted. They don’t want to be with me, no matter how much I want to be with them. I should just accept that.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t,” Hisashi said, running his fingertips across Narita’s scalp. “You love them, and I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but they want to be with you. Or at least, Daichi-san does. And the others will come around, they just need time to get to know you better. You’re amazing, and you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

 

“You’re just saying that ‘cause you’re my best friend,” Narita sniffled.

 

“I’m saying that ‘cause it’s true,” Hisashi replied. “But don’t you worry. I’m gonna fix all of this for you.”

 

“Oh god, please don’t,” Narita said. “I don’t think I could handle one of your grand solutions right now.”

 

“Shush,” Hisashi said. “Want some ice cream?”

 

“Do you have rocky road?” Narita asked.

 

“You know it.”

 

“God, I love you.”

 

“I know.” He knew better than Narita realized he did. “You have to get off of me if I’m going to go get you ice cream.”

 

“Forget the ice cream,” Narita said. “I just wanna snuggle.”

 

“Okay.” Hisashi settled into a more comfortable position, wrapping his arms around Narita’s waist. “It’s gonna be okay,” he said.

 

“No it isn’t,” Narita replied. “Not for a long time.”

 

Hisashi said nothing, just ran his hand up and down Narita’s spine and formulated his plan.

 

-

 

Daichi was on cloud nine. Sure, the date with Narita hadn’t been anything special, but it had meant that one more member of his little family was joining the fold. Daichi would take a date with another member of the team any day.

 

He was so over-the-moon that he wasn’t even surprised when a knock came on Asahi’s front door just as the sun was beginning to set. Asahi and his mother were out at the grocery store, so Daichi padded down the stairs to answer it himself, a massive grin on his face. He found Kinoshita fuming on the front doorstep.

 

“Kinoshita? What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“What. The. Fuck. Do you think you’re doing.” Kinoshita asked.

 

“Uh? Homework?” Daichi replied. Kinoshita shook his head.

 

“I mean with Narita,” he said. “What, it isn’t enough that he’s hopelessly in love with you? You have to torment him about it? Make him think he’s got a chance and then snatch it away from him?”

 

“Hold on a minute, who’s snatching what away from Narita?” Daichi asked. Kinoshita rolled his eyes.

 

“Don’t play with me, Daichi-san,” he said. “Narita is sensitive.”

 

“I know that,” Daichi said, though really, he didn’t know if it was true or not.

 

“So why did you tell him you didn’t want to be with him? That a date was all he was ever going to get? I thought you wanted to get the whole team together. Leaving him out isn’t going to help you with that.”

 

“I’m not leaving him out,” Daichi said. “I want to be with him, I want all of us to be together. If I gave him the impression that wasn’t what I wanted, I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

 

“Then tell him that yourself,” Kinoshita said. “Don’t just leave him crying on my couch because he thinks he can’t be with the people he loves.”

 

“He was crying?” Daichi whispered, his heart stabbing with pain. “I didn’t realize he thought- I didn’t mean-”

 

“Don’t tell me what you did or didn’t mean,” Kinoshita said. “Go tell him. You’re the one who made this mess, so you’re the only one who can clean it up.”

 

“Right,” Daichi said. “Right. So, is he still at your house?” Kinoshita shook his head.

 

“He went home about an hour ago,” he said. “I wouldn’t go after him tonight if I were you.”

 

“Why not?” Daichi asked.

 

“Because he might close the door in your face,” Kinoshita said. “Though, you would deserve it.”

 

“I would,” Daichi agreed. “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.” With that, he pulled on his shoes and stepped around Kinoshita. He locked the door behind him and set off toward the station, Kinoshita’s eyes on his back the entire way.

 

-

 

Kazuhito didn’t want to open the door. Whoever was on the other side would see him in his depression pajamas, his eyes rimmed with red and puffy from crying. But whoever it was was insistent, so Kazuhito trudged over to the door despite his misgivings.

 

It was Daichi, because of course it was Daichi. Kazuhito was about to tell him to go away and never talk to Kazuhito again when he stepped forward and caught Kazuhito around the waist. He leaned up on his toes and pressed a messy kiss to Kazuhito’s lips. Kazuhito gasped, not sure what to do, and Daichi pulled away.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I meant to-”

 

Kazuhito didn’t give him a chance to finish, but rather grabbed Daichi by the collar and reeled him in for another kiss. This one was so much better than the first, even as the dawn is brighter than the night. Daichi melted into the kiss, wrapping himself around Kazuhito while Kazuhito held him back just as tightly. He pulled away at last.

 

“I’m sorry,” Daichi said again. “I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t wanted. I only meant to give you time to ease into things, to make it all smoother and easier. I should have been clearer. I want you, Narita. I want to date you, permanently. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”

 

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you too,” Kazuhito said.

 

“So, now that we’ve got that sorted out, do you want to go on a date with me?” Daichi asked. “Just me. We can see how the others feel later.”

 

“I would love to,” Kazuhito said, smiling. Then he realized he was still in his pajamas and frowned. “One second,” he said, and closed the door in Daichi’s face. He could hear Daichi laughing from the other side of the door even as he raced up the stairs to his bedroom to change.

 

Things were looking up.


	7. Chapter 7

Daichi held Narita’s hand as they walked, brushing his thumb now and then across his knuckles just to feel him there. He led him through the streets of his old neighborhood to a park he had discovered when he still lived at home and everything was simpler.

 

“Where are we going?” Narita asked, his voice flooded with concern. Daichi squeezed his hand.

 

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m just taking you to the park. There’s something I want you to see.”

 

“What is it?” Narita asked. Daichi laughed.

 

“You’ll see,” he said.

 

They reached the park just as the street lamps were flicking on. Daichi looked around, worried they wouldn’t be able to see them so late in the day, but then they reached it. The pond was small and perfectly round, but Daichi didn’t care about that. He cared about the ducks swimming across its surface. Narita laughed, a delighted little sound.

 

“Did you really bring me to see ducks?” he asked. Daichi shook his head.

 

“I brought you to feed ducks,” he said, taking off his backpack and pulling out a bag of birdseed he’d bought on his way to Narita’s house. “Is- is that something you would want to do?” he asked, suddenly nervous.

 

“I would love to,” Narita said. Daichi smiled and sat on the bench near the pond. Narita sat next to him and drew his feet up onto the seat. He leaned into Daichi’s side, letting his head drop onto Daichi’s shoulder. Daichi pressed his cheek to the top of Narita’s head and sighed.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

 

“What ever for?” Narita asked. Daichi snorted.

 

“For being an ass,” he said. “For letting you think you were anything less than completely wanted.”

 

“Kinoshita got to you, didn’t he?” Narita asked. Daichi nodded.

 

“You’ve got a good friend there,” he said. “He loves you a lot.”

 

“I know he does,” Narita sighed. Daichi leaned up to look at him.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“It’s just,” Narita said, then sighed sharply. “It’s just, I love so many people so much, and it feels like none of them feel the same as me. Like I’ll always love people more than they love me, you know?”

 

“I know that feeling,” Daichi said. “I’ve felt that way for so long. But it’s starting to go away, you know? Because I have the others, especially Tsukishima.”

 

“Tsukishima will never like me like I like him,” Narita said. “I just know he won’t.”

 

“He takes time to warm up to people,” Daichi admitted. “But I promise, if you give him time, you’d be amazed at the depth of feeling he’s capable of.”

 

“I’m sure you’re right,” Narita said. “I just don’t think that depth of feeling is ever going to be aimed at me.” Daichi didn’t say anything, just handed Narita the bag of birdseed.

 

They sat together in silence as the sun went down.

 

-

 

Kei knew a Talk was coming. Daichi had that air about him that he got before he scolded Kageyama and Hinata, or gave Ennoshita a pep talk. Kei waited on tenterhooks as they did their homework. Finally, Daichi put his books away and Kei took a deep breath.

 

“What,” he said.

 

“What what?” Daichi asked.

 

“Why are you acting like that?” Kei asked.

 

“Acting like what?” Kei glared at Daichi. “Okay, okay,” Daichi said. “I’m trying to figure out how not to give you a lecture.”

 

“Not getting a lecture would be good,” Kei agreed. Daichi smiled at him.

 

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms. Kei crawled over to him and climbed into his lap. “You know I love you, right?”

 

“You know that only makes me more nervous, right?” Kei asked. Daichi laughed softly.

 

“Sorry,” he said. He stroked his fingers through Kei’s hair.

 

“What’s this about?” Kei asked.

 

“Narita,” Daichi said. Kei tried not to stiffen in his arms.

 

“What about him?” Kei asked carefully.

 

“I messed up,” Daichi said. “I meant to ease him into our relationship by going on a few dates with him and letting you warm up to each other. But instead I made him feel like he wasn’t wanted as more than a plaything, you know? Like we were just messing around with him to be mean, or because we were bored.”

 

“So, what are you going to do about that?” Kei asked. Daichi hummed.

 

“What do you want me to do about it?” he asked.

 

“Is this a test?” Kei asked him. He laughed.

 

“No, it isn’t,” he said. “I genuinely want to know what you think I should do.”

 

“I think you should do what your heart tells you to do,” Kei said. “Does it tell you to be with Narita-san?”

 

“I think it does,” Daichi said. “But more than that it tell me not hurt you.”

 

“You can’t always think of me,” Kei said. “Sometimes you have to do what’s right for you.”

 

“What’s right for me is being with you,” Daichi said. “And this is a relationship built on open and honest communication, remember? I need you to communicate with me about what you want out of this.”

 

“I don’t know,” Kei said. “I’m… hesitant, about being with Narita-san. I don’t know him, not really. I’m having a hard time trusting him. _But_ , I can see my way into possibly wanting to date him someday. I see a lot of good qualities in him, a lot of things I like about him. I’m just slow to warm up to people, you know that.”

 

“I do know that,” Daichi said. “It’s one of the things that drew me to you, you know. I wanted to see what was under that mask.”

 

“So, what are you going to do about Narita-san?” Kei asked, hoping Daichi couldn’t see his blush from such close proximity. Daichi sighed.

 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I have to talk to the others about it too. You were the one I was most worried about.”

 

“If I weren’t in the picture - not that I’m saying I’m not going to be,” Kei said. “But if I weren’t, what would you do?”

 

“I would sweep Narita off his feet and live happily ever after with him,” Daichi said after a moment. “So you think I should go for it?”

 

“I think you should do what is best for you,” Kei said. “If that involves Narita-san, then it involves Narita-san and I can learn to live with it. And who knows? Sometime down the road, maybe I’ll learn to love him like you do.”

 

“You think you could?” Daichi asked. Kei shrugged.

 

“Maybe,” he said. “After all I said I’d be open to dating all the others eventually. Narita-san is included in that.”

 

“You make me so happy,” Daichi whispered fiercely, squeezing Kei’s waist. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

 

Kei’s stomach turned. He slapped a small smile on his face, not too much or Daichi would see through it, but enough to fool him. “My mom’s making dinner tonight,” he said. “I promised her I’d eat at home.”

 

“Okay,” Daichi said easily, and guilt swirled in Kei’s gut. He believed him so easily. It was somehow worse than if Daichi had seen through him and began yelling. But then, it was one meal. The only reason Kei felt guilty was because Daichi wouldn’t understand. He wasn’t hungry, not really. It wasn’t a relapse, it was just one meal.

 

It was just one meal.

 

“I should get going,” Kei said, extracting himself from Daichi’s hold.

 

“Want me to walk you to the station?” Daichi asked.

 

“I would love that,” Kei said. Daichi grinned at him, that honest, completely infatuated grin that made Kei blush every time. He took Kei’s hand and walked him out of the house and down the street. At the station, he pulled Kei into a dark corner to kiss him swiftly and hungrily goodbye. Then the train came and Kei was alone, standing in a compartment devoid of people and hating himself. But when he got home and his mother asked him what he wanted for dinner, he told her he had eaten at Asahi’s house, and she believed him too. They all believed him, because he wasn’t the kind of person who would lie to the people he loved. At least, that’s what they thought about him.

 

Kei trudged up to his room and pulled the two love notes from his shoe locker out from under his pillow. He reread them both and tried not to cry.

 

He failed.

 

-

 

Tobio was worried about Tsukishima. He wasn’t acting like himself, but Tobio seemed to be the only one to notice. When he asked Yamaguchi about it, Yamaguchi only looked at him strangely and shrugged. So Tobio took matters into his own hands.

 

“What’s so important that you had to come over immediately?” Tsukishima asked as he let Tobio into his house. Tobio didn’t answer, just marched up the stairs to Tsukishima’s bedroom, leaving Tsukishima to huff and follow.

 

Once they were in the bedroom, Tobio closed and locked the door. He dropped his bag and shucked off his jacket before turning to face Tsukishima. Something in his face gave Tsukishima pause, for he took a step backward, his face going pale and then red in rapid succession. “What’s going on?” he asked quietly.

 

“I love you,” Tobio said. It was the first time either of them had said it to the other, in the admittedly short time that they had been dating. Tsukishima’s blush deepened. He sputtered something that might have been words but had too few actual syllables and too much coughing to make any sense. Tobio took advantage of his surprise to pull him down by the collar until he could seal their lips together.

 

Tsukishima resisted at first. He bit at Tobio’s lip, trying to dominate Tobio’s mouth with his tongue and teeth. But Tobio held strong, resisting the urge to give into Tsukishima’s anger. He gave back as good as he got, nipping and licking and channeling all his frustration into the kiss. Finally, Tsukishima gave in and let himself be kissed.

 

“Sit down,” Tobio whispered against Tsukishima’s lips.

 

“Why?” Tsukishima whispered back.

 

“Because you’re too fucking tall and my neck hurts,” Tobio replied. Tsukishima looked like he was about to make fun of Tobio, but then the snark died in his eyes. He went almost docile, crossing to the bed and clambering onto it. He turned around and waited for Tobio to climb on after him. Tobio crawled into his lap and began kissing him again.

 

It was strange, making out with Tsukishima when he was like this. He didn’t fight back, didn’t do much of anything to reciprocate. He kissed like he wanted to be dominated, like he wanted Tobio to have the upper hand. It was wrong, it was all wrong.

 

Tobio pulled away and stared down into Tsukishima’s golden eyes, watching them shutter. There was something there that Tsukishima didn’t want him to see, something hurt and scared, like a cornered animal. Tobio sighed and kissed Tsukishima’s forehead.

 

“What’s wrong?” he whispered against Tsukishima’s skin.

 

“Why does something have to be wrong?” Tsukishima asked. Tobio pulled away to consider him.

 

“You’re not yourself today,” he said. “You’re not fighting me. It’s weird. I want it to stop. But I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“I don’t want communication lessons from you, King,” Tsukishima said. Tobio’s lip twitched into something like a smile.

 

“There you are,” he said.

 

“What are you talking about?” Tsukishima snapped.

 

“I’m talking about you,” Tobio said. “You’re acting weird, have been all week. Why?”

 

“I’m not acting weird,” Tsukishima said. Frustration welled up in Tobio. This was why he didn’t talk to people. They never talked back, not in a way he could understand. Something about Tsukishima was screaming out for help but Tobio couldn’t figure out what it was or what he was supposed to do. And Tsukishima wasn’t helping him any.

 

In his frustration, Tobio did what he never wanted to do again. He abandoned communication for something physical, something angry and harsh and not at all sweet. He kissed Tsukishima with everything he had, wanting to feel emptied of his emotions by the time it was over. And this time, Tsukishima kissed him back.

 

It wasn’t pretty. There were teeth and clawing hands involved, tearing at one another like they could get to the center of them without stopping to ask permission, without checking that the other was okay. It was not a loving kiss, though Tobio knew in his heart that they did it because they loved each other.

 

In the end, it was Tobio who broke the kiss. They were lying down, though Tobio didn’t know how they had gotten there. Tobio rested his head on Tsukishima’s chest and sighed.

 

“I don’t know how to help you,” he said. “And I feel like I’m supposed to, because I’m your boyfriend and that’s what boyfriends do. But I don’t know what’s wrong, so I don’t know how to do that.”

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Tsukishima said.

 

“Stop lying to me.” It wasn’t angry, or even bitter. It was just tired. Tobio was tired of fighting with Tsukishima every time they turned around. He just wanted to help.

 

“Maybe you can’t help me,” Tsukishima said, as though he had read Tobio’s thoughts. Tobio looked up at him without removing his head from his chest and blinked. Tsukishima didn’t look at him, staring at the ceiling, but his hands rested on Tobio’s back, a firm and comforting weight.

 

“Can you let me try?” Tobio asked. Tsukishima shook his head.

 

“I don’t even know what’s wrong myself,” he said. It tasted like a lie, but Tobio wasn’t sure it was one.

 

“If you figure it out, will you tell me?” Tobio asked.

 

“No,” Tsukishima said. “You know I won’t. That’s not how I work.”

 

“I know it isn’t,” Tobio sighed. “I wish it was. I wish I could help.”

 

“I know you do.” Tsukishima’s hand came up to tangle in Tobio’s hair, stroking gently through the strands. “I know you do,” Tsukishima said again. Tobio was pretty sure he was crying, but he didn’t look up to see for sure. He tightened his hold on Tsukishima’s waist and closed his eyes. For a long time, they lay in silence and Tobio drifted between wakefulness and sleep. Then Tsukishima’s breathing went slow and even and Tobio sighed.

 

“I love you,” he said quietly, though he knew Tsukishima couldn’t hear him. He closed his eyes and went to sleep.

 

-

 

The day the third love note showed up in Kei’s shoe locker was the same day as their second date with Narita. He kept it in his pocket as they walked into the cafe, praying for a way out of this. It wasn’t that Kei didn’t want to spend time with Narita or the others, it was that he wasn’t feeling well lately and he didn’t want any of the others to notice.

 

When Kei’s world fell apart, he turned to the things he could control to give him a sense of balance again. It had happened time and time again, and this time was no different.

 

He hadn’t eaten all day in preparation for this date.

 

Narita sat beside Kei, between him and Daichi, in the center of the booth. Kei felt unanchored, lost in a sea of uncertainty without Daichi beside him. But Yamaguchi sat on his other side, and that helped somewhat. It made it easier to breathe, knowing Yamaguchi was by his side. It made it no easier to order food, however, no matter how small or low-calorie a portion he got. He ended up with a salad with no dressing, and spent most of the time pushing the greens around his plate while the others talked.

 

Narita was watching him, he knew. He was judging him, the way everyone always ended up doing. Kei was sick of it, but he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to escape. He was beginning to feel wild, trapped, like an animal backed into a corner.

 

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi’s voice was quiet, only for Kei to hear. Kei shook his head subtly and took a deep breath. He was fine, there was nothing to worry about here. He tried to throw himself into the conversation, into teasing Kageyama and Daichi in turns. Yamaguchi took his hand under the table and Kei tried to pretend everything was fine.

 

He left over half of his salad on his plate.

 

When they went to leave, Narita stuck close to Kei. They walked together to the station, and Daichi and Kageyama got on the train, Yamaguchi having gone the opposite direction toward Shimada-san’s shop. Narita hesitated.

 

“Tsukishima, do you mind if I talk to you?” he asked. “Somewhere private?”

 

Kei was baffled. He had no idea what Narita could have to talk to him about, but it couldn’t be good. Still, he nodded, and led the way to his house. His mother was in the living room knitting, but she hardly batted an eye at Kei bringing home yet another boy from the team. He found himself extremely grateful for her and her ability to accept Kei without asking questions, and guilty for not having told her all that was going on in his life. But then, Kei was never one for sharing. He led Narita up to his room and closed the door.

 

“What’s up?” he asked. Narita took a deep breath, staring at the floor. Then he looked up with a fire in his eye that Kei did not expect from him.

 

“I’m worried about you, Tsukishima,” he said.

 

“What? Why?” Kei asked.

 

“Because I don’t think you’re eating,” Narita said. “It scares me to see you wasting away like this. I’m worried you won’t have the strength to play anymore soon. And I’m worried you’re going to play anyway, and then something bad will happen. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

 

Words swirled through Kei’s mind, none of them connected to each other and none of them making sense. Anger poured from his belly into his veins, hot and fierce. A voice in the corner of his mind whispered that he wasn’t actually angry, that he was just insecure and defensive, but the fire in his bones drowned it out.

 

“Even if I wasn’t eating again, I don’t see how that would be any of your business,” Kei hissed. “I don’t need you judging me for things you don’t understand.”

 

“You’re right, I don’t understand,” Narita said. “But that doesn’t mean I’m any less worried about you. I care about you, Tsukishima, and I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

 

“No, you want to butt into my life and take it over,” Kei said. “You want to stick your nose in where it has no business being, so you can pretend you’re special somehow. Well, newsflash, you aren’t special. You don’t deserve my trust, and you don’t get to show up and boss me around.”

 

“I’m not trying to boss you around,” Narita said, his voice growing agitated. He took a deep breath and spoke more calmly, “I’m only saying these things because I genuinely care about you. I’m not trying to judge. I’m worried about you.”

 

“Well, take your worry and get out of here,” Kei snapped. “I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need you.”

 

Narita looked like he was going to say something else, but then he stopped and shook his head. For a long moment, he said nothing, the gears behind his eyes turning as he tried to think of how else to ruin Kei’s life. At last, he said, “I’m here if you need someone to talk to. I won’t tell anyone else, and I won’t bug you about this anymore.” Without another word, he left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

 

As soon as he was gone, Kei felt horrible. It wasn’t Narita’s fault Kei was a disaster. But it wasn’t like Kei could trust Narita with these things - he hardly knew him. Maybe Narita was right, though, and there was something wrong that was bigger than Kei himself. His therapist had always said that it wasn’t his fault when he succumbed to his eating disorder, that such things were just too big to handle alone. But to have Narita of all people notice was shameful to Kei. He picked up his phone and dialed the number he least wanted to call.

 

“Kei?” came the voice from the other end of the line, sounding tired, but happy. Happy to hear from Kei, he knew, happy because that voice was always happy these days. “What’s going on?”

 

“Nii-chan. I need some advice.”

 

-

 

Apologize to Narita. That was the third item on Akiteru’s to-do list, after calling his therapist and telling his mother. Both of them had been hard enough, but this task seemed monumental. Still, let it never be said of Kei that he was a quitter when things most mattered. He steeled his courage after practice the next day and waited for Narita at the base of the stairs outside the club room. He came out with Kinoshita, who scowled at Kei. Narita elbowed Kinoshita in the ribs, and Kinoshita went away, still scowling.

 

“What’s up?” Narita asked, his voice betraying no sign that he was upset about the night before. Kei twined his fingers together and bit the inside of his lip.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said at last. Narita smiled.

 

“For what?” he asked. “Last night? Totally forgotten. You don’t have to apologize for that.”

 

“No, I do,” Kei said. “I was shitty to you, and that deserves an apology.”

 

Narita took a step forward, until he was breathing the same air as Kei. It felt strangely intimate, standing in the gathering dark with Narita and looking into each other’s eyes. Then Narita reached forward and tangled his fingers with Kei’s.

 

“You are forgiven,” he whispered. “Completely and totally.” Kei looked down at their tangled fingers and his heart sped in his chest. He took a deep, shaky breath.

 

“Would you like to go out with me tonight?” he asked softly.

 

Narita’s entire visage lit up. He squeezed Kei’s hand and bit his lip, clearly trying to gather himself. He nodded. “I would like that,” he said softly. “I would like that a lot.”

 

“Okay,” Kei said. He stood still for a moment without realizing it, just staring at Narita’s hand in his own. He shook his head, remembering himself. He flushed, a little embarrassed. “I can’t think of anywhere to go,” he admitted.

 

“That’s okay,” Narita said, smiling. “I know a place.”

 

Narita let his hand go to lead him to the train station, and Kei tried to feel somewhat normal. But nothing had felt normal, not for weeks now, and maybe a part of Kei was beginning to get used to the chaos. Still, he wished Narita had held his hand. They rode together on the train, Narita sitting and Kei standing awkwardly above him because his legs were too long for him to fit in a seat. They got off at a station Kei knew well, but he kept his suspicions to himself until they were standing in front of the entrance to the botanical gardens.

 

“I love coming here at night,” Narita said, looking up at Kei with a peaceful smile on his face.

 

“I’ve never been,” Kei said. “At night, that is.”

 

“Then you’re in for a treat,” Narita told him. “Come on!”

 

He was like a kid, Kei thought, but not in the cruel way he usually thought about Hinata or Nishinoya. It was cute, the way Narita got excited and rushed on ahead, then looked back to make sure Kei was still coming. He bounced in place, looking between Kei and the entrance like an excited puppy. Kei shook his head and stepped forward, gesturing for Narita to lead the way.

 

The garden was beautiful at night. String lights stretched from one tree to the next, hung with little paper flowers that caught and filtered the light. There were none of the screaming children and bickering families Kei was used to when he visited during the day. Just couples walking through the paths holding hands and talking softly.

 

Narita didn’t say anything as he walked by Kei’s side, eyes on the trees and the flowers lit up by the lights hidden here and there. From somewhere, music was piping, soft and quiet, matching the sound of night birds in their songs. Eventually, they reached a place where there were no other people around, just Kei and Narita and the beautiful nighttime paradise around them. That’s when Kei did the unthinkable: he reached for Narita’s hand.

 

“I love it here,” Narita said softly, not looking at Kei or otherwise acknowledging his gesture - though he did return Kei’s hold with a gentle one of his own. “This is where I come on my worst and best days, where I come to think and to be alone.”

 

“Why would you bring me here then?” Kei asked, only caring a very little about the answer. But then Narita surprised him.

 

“Because I think you’re the kind of person who responds to gestures like this,” he said. “Because I think it will help you feel more at ease around me if I let myself be vulnerable first, rather than expecting you to be the one opening up for me.”

 

“That’s… shrewd,” Kei admitted. Narita smiled at him.

 

“I can be,” he said. “At the risk of scaring you off, I hope you know I fully intend to win you over.”

 

Kei thought about it for a moment. Then he smiled.

 

“Do your worst,” he said.

 

-

 

Things seemed to settle after that. Kei wasn’t sure whether he was dating Narita or not, but he found it didn’t really matter all that much. The five of them went on dates, each one more boring and comfortable than the last. Even therapy had reached a plateau, Kei’s relapse a minor bump in the road once he had gotten over the first few hurdles. Kei was genuinely enjoying himself, something he never would have expected from this scenario.

 

Everything was so calm that it had to come to an end eventually. Kei just knew it was only a matter of time. He kept waiting for the end to come, for someone to leave him or demand more from him than he could give, or for another meltdown to leave him insecure and self-destructive. The longer it took to come the more certain Kei was that it was going to happen eventually. He admitted as much to Yamaguchi one day as they were eating lunch together on the roof of the school.

 

“Tsukki, you know you’re just over-thinking things, right?” he asked around a mouthful of food. Kei glared at him until he swallowed, then grinned. “I mean, it’s not like you’ve never felt this way before, right? And it’s not like that ever turned out any way other than good, right? Right?”

 

“I know,” Kei muttered, leaning his forehead on his desk. Yamaguchi patted his head and hummed.

 

“You’re just the kind of person who needs something to be going wrong at all times,” he said. “It was cute at first, but now it’s just unhealthy.”

 

“I _know_ ,” Kei whined. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

 

“There, there,” Yamaguchi said soothingly. Kei rolled his eyes and picked his head back up, leaning back in his chair.

 

“D’you think Narita-san’s our boyfriend now?” he asked quietly. Yamaguchi shrugged.

 

“I don’t think any of us has put a label on it yet,” he said. “I don’t think anyone would mind if he were, though. Would you?”

 

“I don’t know,” Kei murmured. “I really don’t. I think I’m just scared of the implications of that if he is, you know? I guess it doesn’t really matter to me one way or another.”

 

“Do you think it matters to him?” Yamaguchi asked, with that tone in his voice that said that he wanted Kei to think long and hard about his actions and how they affected other people, or some nonsense like that.

 

“I think it does,” he admitted. “I think he won’t tell us that it does, but it does. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about it, I guess.”

 

“Well, I think this is a conversation we should have with Daichi and Tobio as well,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“No, I know that,” Kei replied. “I was just thinking out loud, really.”

 

Yamaguchi smiled at him.

 

“I love you, Kei,” He said softly. Kei smiled back.

 

“I love you too.”

 

-

 

Asahi was doing that thing again, that thing where he was utterly perfect and acted like he had no idea what it did to Koushi. He had pulled his hair from its bun and was running his fingers through it like he hadn’t a care in the world. It made Koushi furious.

 

A lot of things made Koushi furious these days. He was a swirling mass of teenage angst with no outlet besides hitting things - usually a ball or one of his teammates, though he could be flexible when the need arose. Right now, though, practice was over and there was nothing for Koushi to hit and Asahi was wiping his face with the hem of his shirt and Koushi was going to explode.

 

“Good practice today, Suga-san,” said Tanaka, slapping Koushi on the shoulder. Koushi grinned and slapped Tanaka back, twice as hard.

 

“You too, Ryuu,” he said. “But do me a favor and work on those block follows. Next time you might not have Noya to save your ass.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” laughed Tanaka, rubbing at his shoulder. “Hey, are we still having that study session Saturday night?”

 

“Four o’clock at Asahi’s house,” Koushi confirmed. “Bring those little cakes Saeko-neesan makes and I’ll teach you my special trick for remembering English conjugations.”

 

“Deal,” Tanaka said, and jogged off after Nishinoya. Koushi took a deep breath, looking around at all the activity in the room. Hinata and Yamaguchi were laughing about something in the corner, probably making fun of Tsukishima who was sulking nearby. Kinoshita was talking to Kiyoko while Yachi listened in, looking over her notes from the day’s practice. Ennoshita and Daichi were taking down the net while Narita, Nishinoya, and Tanaka rounded up stray balls. Koushi frowned.

 

“Where’s Kageyama?” he wondered aloud. Asahi looked up and shrugged.

 

“I think he went to shower already,” he said. Koushi’s frown deepened.

 

“He’s never the first one off the court,” he said. Asahi shrugged again.

 

“Maybe he has a date,” he said. “There was a girl waiting around the door earlier. I thought maybe she was a fan, but I could be wrong.”

 

“Kageyama, and some random girl?” Koushi asked incredulously. Asahi snorted and punched him lightly on the shoulder.

 

“Don’t be like that,” he said. “Oh, by the way, my mom wanted to know when you’re coming over again. All ‘it’s been _ages_ since Koushi-kun came by to see me’ and stuff.” Asahi’s voice went high and teasing and Koushi found himself shaking with laughter.

 

“I can come by tonight,” he said. “We can go over the literature homework together, since I know you didn’t understand what was going on in class today.”

 

“I love you,” Asahi said, and Koushi’s heart shattered just a little bit.

 

“You better,” he said. “Now stop standing around and looking pretty and help the second years round up the balls. I’ll help with the net.” Asahi gave him a mock salute and jogged off to call Nishinoya and Tanaka back to task. Koushi watched him for a long moment, eyes lingering over the lines of his back through the shifting of his shirt. He shook his head hard to clear his thoughts and went to help Daichi carry one of the net posts into the storage closet.

 

“Daichi, you gotta help me,” he whispered when they were alone together in the storage closet. “I can’t take this any longer.”

 

“You need to tell him how you feel, then,” Daichi said.

 

“Won’t that mess up your plan?” Koushi asked him. “I thought we were joining your bunch one at a time.” Daichi shrugged.

 

“You’re more important than my plan,” he said. Koushi was so filled with affection for Daichi and his perfect, beautiful self, that he knew exactly why he did it. He just didn’t know why he chose to do it just then.

 

He kissed Daichi. Just as the door opened and Tsukishima walked in.

 

Koushi pulled away as fast as he could, but the damage was done. Tsukishima had seen them together and had turned and walked calmly away.

 

Daichi swore and ran after him, leaving Koushi alone in the dark.


	8. Chapter 8

It freaked Kei out that he wasn’t freaking out. As he walked away from the storage room, he didn’t feel any of the panic or the bitterness that he had expected from himself. And when Daichi caught up with him, panting and desperate, Kei didn’t hate the sight of him.

 

“Why’d you come after me?” Kei asked, though he knew the answer.

 

“I’m sorry,” Daichi gasped. “I didn’t mean to- he kissed me and- I’m sorry!”

 

“Daichi,” Kei said, his heart filling with warmth and his lips twitching into something like a smile. “Go back in there and kiss him back.”

 

“What?” Daichi breathed. “Kei, don’t push me a way,” he said in a rush. “I’m sorry about the kiss, but I promise it wasn’t me! I would never-”

 

“No, you wouldn’t,” Kei said. “Not without talking to me about it first. Which is why I’m telling you to go back in there and kiss him.” He lifted a hand to Daichi’s cheek and brushed a thumb along the bone. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’m telling you it’s okay. Go back and kiss him, before he freaks out.”

 

Just as Kei said that, Suga came bursting out of the storage room and raced across the gym to the outer door. He was gone before either of them could react.

 

“Oh,” said Daichi.

 

“Damage done, I guess,” said Kei. He turned to fold Daichi in his arms. “I’m sorry,” he said.

 

“What for?” Daichi asked his shoulder. Kei found himself smiling. It slipped away too quickly.

 

“For walking in on you when I did,” he said. “If I’d been just a little earlier or a little later, I wouldn’t have interrupted you and you could have handled it better. Instead, you had to come make sure I was okay.”

 

“What’s done is done, I guess,” Daichi said. “I’ll find a way to make it up to him later. Right now you’re still my top priority.”

 

“No, right now, talking to the others is your top priority,” Kei said. “I already told you how I feel about it, but you’ve got to talk to Tadashi and Tobio and Narita-san.”

 

“You’re right,” Daichi sighed, slumping in Kei’s arms. “How did this all get so complicated?”

 

“You made it that way,” Kei laughed. “When you decided you wanted thirteen lovers who all loved each other.”

 

“That’s not exactly normal is it?” Daichi asked, and Kei could tell from his voice that he had that adorable, sheepish smile on his face. Kei squeezed him tighter.

 

“It’s normal for us,” he said. “I don’t know how many other people out there could handle it, but it’s what’s meant to be for the two of us. We just have to wait and see if it’s what’s meant to be for everyone else, too.”

 

“When did you become so level-headed and wise?” Daichi muttered. Kei snorted.

 

“One of us has to be. If you’re taking a vacation in la la land, then that job must fall to me.” Daichi snorted and Kei smiled. “You’re gonna be okay, Daichi,” he said.

 

“How would you know?” Daichi sniffed.

 

“Because I know you. Because you’re always okay, no matter what. And because you have me, no matter what. That has all got to count for something.”

 

“You’re right,” Daichi said, pulling his face out of Kei’s shoulder to look up at him. “You’re beautiful,” he said.

 

“You’re sappy,” Kei accused. Daichi grinned, wide and blinding, and in that moment Kei knew everything would be okay. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go back to my place for a while. If we ask real pretty we can probably get my mom to order takeout and we can watch crappy movies all night.”

 

“That sounds like heaven,” Daichi said, pulling out of Kei’s embrace and twining their fingers together instead. “Your place it is.”

 

They walked on through the gathering night hand-in-hand and heart-in-heart.

 

-

 

Asahi wasn’t all that surprised when he opened his front door to find Suga standing on his porch, looking like a trapped and wounded animal. He was surprised, however, when it was Asahi himself, and not Daichi that Suga was looking for.

 

“What’s up, Suga?” Asahi asked while Suga unlaced his shoes with slow, methodical movements. Suga didn’t answer him. He just pulled one shoe off and moved on to the next. Asahi waited while Suga had his existential crisis, then pulled him to his feet and into his arms. “Whatever it is, I promise it’s okay,” he said.

 

“Daichi likes you,” Suga blurted. Asahi blinked at him.

 

“I know?” he said. “Suga, what’s this all about?”

 

“You know?” Suga pulled out of Asahi’s arms. “What do you mean, you know?”

 

Asahi meant that he _knew_. He knew about Suga and Daichi’s grand plan to get them all together, he knew about Suga’s desperate little crush on him, and he knew that if he made a move too quickly, Tsukishima would freak out and the whole thing would be ruined. But instead of saying any of that, he smiled and said, “I know he likes me. I like him too.”

 

“Then why haven’t you gone on a date with him?” Suga asked. Asahi shrugged.

 

“He’s never asked me,” he said.

 

“Yeah, but you’ve never asked him either,” Suga scoffed.

 

“I never felt the need to. I was content to just let things be the way they are.”

 

“But don’t you ever want _more_?” Suga asked. “Don’t you ever ache for more than you can handle? And aren’t you ever afraid of that ache?”

 

“What’s meant to be will be,” Asahi said softly. “There’s nothing you or I can do to hurry along the timing of fate.”

 

“Watch me,” Suga mumbled, so quietly that Asahi was sure he wasn’t meant to hear it. He smiled and ruffled Suga’s hair.

 

“Slow down there, firecracker,” he said. “Let things happen in their own time, and everything will turn out for the better.”

 

“Okay, but you’ve never wanted to go on a date with Daichi?” Suga insisted.

 

“Will it really make you feel better if I did?” Asahi asked softly.

 

“Of course!” Suga cried, completely missing Asahi’s invitation to share how he was really feeling. Asahi shook his head fondly. This was his Suga, meddlesome and irrational and completely blind to the things he could have if he just reached out and took them.

 

“Okay,” he said. “If it will really make you feel better, I’ll ask Daichi out. But you have to promise to tell me how you’re actually feeling about it, first.”

 

“I’m feeling impatient,” Suga said. “Now, where to send you two…”

 

Asahi sat on is couch and let Suga pace and come up with date ideas for the two of them, only half-listening. Mostly he was watching the way Suga looked, so beautiful it ached, and utterly unaware of what he did to Asahi.

 

Asahi wanted Suga, wanted him badly. But he was never the type of person to ask for what he wanted and knew he would get, preferring to wait until the universe delivered it to him. The universe had never failed him so far, and with the combined determination of Suga and Daichi behind it, this would be no exception.

 

He could admit, though, that he was a little impatient. He wanted to kiss Suga, to know whether his lips tasted like that lip balm he’d borrowed from Asahi and never given back. He wanted to hold Suga in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be all right, that everything was as it was meant to be. He wanted to sooth Suga’s anxieties, the way Suga and Daichi always did for him.

 

But he couldn’t. Because moving too fast would ruin everything they had worked so hard to build. Suga wasn’t ready for him yet, and that was fine. As long as Asahi knew that he would be ready sometime, in the near future, he was fine. He could wait.

 

-

 

Daichi was surprised to find Suga asleep on Asahi’s couch when he got home that night. He lingered in the doorway, watching his best friend and aching. Then Asahi came down the stairs and Daichi startled into motion, tugging off his shoes and debating internally whether he should tell Asahi what had happened. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing he should share, but Asahi was Asahi, and Suga had never kept something from Asahi before.

 

“Welcome home,” Asahi murmured.

 

“Pardon the intrusion,” Daichi shot back. Asahi shook his head and then gestured for Daichi to follow him back up the stairs. Daichi did as he was told, waiting until they were in Asahi’s room to let out a heavy sigh.

 

“What’s wrong?” Asahi asked.

 

“Nothing important,” Daichi said. Asahi shot him a loaded look. “No, I mean it,” Daichi insisted. “It’s nothing that can’t be handled.”

 

“Okay…” Asahi shook his head. “Listen, are you doing anything on Friday evening?”

 

“I don’t think so, why?”

 

“Okay, so I’m going to tell you something, but I don’t want it to change how you think of my invitation, okay? Because I want to go on a date with you, for me, but I also want to do it for Suga.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Daichi asked.

 

“He came over while you were out and demanded I take you out on a date. I don’t know what happened today, but whatever it was freaked him out. I think that if you and I face him down together, he’ll stop hiding. But like I said! I still want to be with you for you! I want to be a part of all of this.”

 

Daichi ran his hand through his hair. It had been a long day of talking to his boyfriends - Narita included - about asking Suga out, and now here he was being asked out by Asahi instead. He hesitated too long, and Asahi’s face began to fall.

 

“Oh, no, that’s not what I- I would love to, it’s just- Oh, Asahi-”

 

“Daichi,” laughed Asahi, reaching out to cup Daichi’s cheeks in each of his large hands. Daichi felt suddenly very small next to him, and found that he liked that feeling very much. He leaned into one of Asahi’s hands and closed his eyes.

 

“I have to talk to the others,” he said. “I kind of talked to them about Suga earlier after… After what happened happened. I didn’t think this would come up with you today.”

 

“You didn’t plan on getting to me for a while, I get it,” Asahi said. “I think we should start slow, feel things out. Especially with Tsukishima.”

 

Daichi smiled. “He’s not as fragile as any of us seem to think,” he said. “He’s been handling all of this surprisingly well.

 

“Well, I’d hate to be the reason that stops,” Asahi said. “Can… Can I kiss you, or should we wait until after you’ve talked to everyone?”

 

“I think it would be better to wait,” Daichi said reluctantly. Asahi smiled and dropped his hands.

 

“You don’t have to sound so glum about it,” he said.

 

“No, it’s just, I really want to kiss you,” Daichi told him. “I just can’t yet. And that sucks a little.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Asahi said. “The day will come when you can kiss any of us as often as you want.”

 

Daichi sighed happily at the thought, and Asahi laughed at him. “Let me call Tsukishima,” he said. “They should all still be at his house, so if we’re lucky we can catch them all together.”

 

Asahi smiled and stepped back to sit on his bed, patting the mattress beside him. Daichi smiled and sat next to him, pulling out his phone.

 

-

 

Koushi slipped away from the door while Daichi was on the phone with Tsukishima. He didn’t need to hear their happily ever after in order to know it would all work out for them. He would be fine, he told himself.

 

He just wished it was true.

 

-

 

Hisashi was going to start charging people for advice. He could open a store front and call it Hisashi’s Home for Haggard Hearts: Life and Romantic Advice For the Lost and Confused. He would charge by the hour, and make a killing doing it.

 

But for now, he wouldn’t charge, because he was still in high school and his friend needed him and he had a big heart and maybe a crush on Suga or whatever. Maybe. The point was, it was hard to see his vice captain in such a bad way when he knew exactly how to fix it.

 

“Pull your head out of your ass already,” he said without preamble as he and Suga mopped the gym together.

 

“Excuse me?” Suga huffed, looking at Hisashi askance. Hisashi cocked a hip and looked right back at him, unimpressed.

 

“You heard me,” he said.

 

“I heard something,” Suga agreed. “Just not sure I heard what I thought I heard. Maybe you weren’t being an obnoxious little shit for once in your life.”

 

“Oh no, I was being an obnoxious little shit,” Hisashi said. “But then, so were you.”

 

“And how was I doing that?” Suga asked.

 

“By not pulling your head out of your ass,” Hisashi replied, inspecting his nails as though this were the most casual of conversations. Suga looked at him incredulously, then all at once he started laughing.

 

“God, I love you,” he said. “You’re the only person who’s ever told me off like that.”

 

“You should probably have it happen more often,” Hisashi said. “Take it from someone who cares about you, you’ll never get anywhere in life if you keep wasting away like this.”

 

“It’s not that simple,” Suga said.

 

“No, I get that,” Hisashi said. “I just don’t think you’re the type of person to let something like this stop you from getting what you want. You never have in the past, after all.”

 

“You know what?” Suga said, standing up right and gripping his mop handle like it was the hilt of a sword, “you’re right. Where are Daichi and Asahi?”

 

“They left,” Tanaka said, walking up to them with another mop. “They took Tsukishima and went to the park.”

 

Suga looked between Hisashi and Tanaka, then threw his mop down and ran out the door. Tanaka looked after him, puzzled, while Hisashi laughed.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Ryuu,” he said, picking up the fallen mop. “He’s just off to get his happily ever after.”

 

“Is he now?” Tanaka asked, grinning smarmily. “And what about your happily ever after?”

 

“Talk to me in a week and we’ll see, babe,” Hisashi said, winking at him. Tanaka threw his head back and laughed. Hisashi laughed with him, feeling lighter than he had in quite some time.

 

-

 

In hindsight, Kei supposed the only question was how it took Suga so long to find them. They had been in the park for an hour and were just considering leaving for a nearby diner when Suga came running up to them.

 

“Suga-” Asahi said, but cut off when Suga grabbed him by the back of the head and reeled him in for a kiss. Kei sat down on a bench next to Daichi and leaned his head on Daichi’s shoulder to watch. Daichi hummed in approval, taking Kei’s hand and squeezing. Asahi turned bright red, a beautiful color on him, even as he wrapped his arms around Suga’s waist and held him close.

 

“I’m sorry-” Suga said, pulling back, but Asahi pulled him closer and kissed him again. Suga kissed him for a long moment, but then he shrank in his shoes and pulled away from Asahi. He looked back at Daichi and Kei, sputtering something. Daichi stood slowly and Suga seemed to shrink even more.

 

“My turn,” Daichi said, grabbing Asahi by the shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. Suga started to dash away, but Kei darted out an arm and caught him by the waist. He pulled Suga into his lap, holding him close.

 

“Watch,” he breathed into Suga’s ear. Suga shivered in his arms. Kei bent down to press his lips to the smooth skin of Suga’s neck and sighed into him, eyes still on Daichi and Asahi in their tangle a few feet away.

 

“I’m-” Suga gasped, squirming away from Kei’s touch. “I should go.”

 

“Please don’t,” Kei said. “You can if you really want to, but none of us wants you to. We want you here, Suga-san.”

 

“No you don’t,” Suga whispered. “You don’t want me.”

 

“Suga-san-” Kei shook his head and held him tighter, burying his nose in the crook of Suga’s shoulder. “You have to know this won’t work without you. You are an important part of this family, and we need you. We want you. _I_ want you.”

 

“But-” Suga shook his head. “But, Tsukishima, I’m- and you’re- and- and-”

 

“And nothing,” Kei said. “Ask either of them, or any of the others. We’ve all planned for you and waited for you and now we’re inviting you in. I get what it’s like to feel insecure about your place with us, but believe me when I say you don’t have to be. You never have to be insecure again.”

 

“I wish that were true,” Suga said.

 

“Wish what were true?” Daichi pulled away from Asahi at last, leaving him looking dazed and happy. He cocked his head at them, then came and knelt on the ground in front of Suga and Kei. He took Suga’s hands into his own and held them to his lips. “Suga, my love, are you all right?”

 

“Don’t call me that,” Suga whispered.

 

“Oh, Koushi,” Daichi cooed. “Baby, darling, precious one, you have to know how much I love you. How much I want you.”

 

“You can’t want me,” Suga said, shaking his head.

 

“We do, though,” Kei told him. “Look at him. Do you think he’s lying to you?”

 

“No, I don’t think he’s _lying_ _…_ ”

 

“Then what?” Kei asked.

 

“I think he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Or you for that matter. You can’t want me.”

 

“Why not? Because you’re fucked up? Because you aren’t perfect, aren’t the sweet little angel everyone seems to think you are?” Kei asked. Suga paused, then nodded, his eyes squeezing shut. Kei pressed his cheek to Suga’s and held him tighter. “Neither am I,” he said. “There’s nothing good about me, and yet they want me. What makes you think you’re any worse?”

 

“There’s everything good about you,” Suga said.

 

“There’s everything good about _you_ ,” Kei replied. “So we’re both fucked up, and we’re both perfect, and we’re both human. So let us let you in. Let yourself fall and trust us to catch you. Stop hurting yourself by hiding away like this.”

 

Suga didn’t say anything for a long time. Asahi came and sat next to Kei on the bench, resting his head on Suga’s shoulder and simply waiting. For a long, long moment, the world was still and quiet and nothing mattered but what Suga would say next. At long last, he spoke.

 

“I’m scared,” he said.

 

“We all are,” Asahi replied. “This is scary stuff. But we can get through it together.”

 

“I don’t know if I believe you,” Suga said slowly, “but I’m willing to give it a try.”

 

“Good,” Kei breathed, his shoulders slumping as a weight he hadn’t even realized was there lifted off of him. “Good.”

 

“So, what happens next?” Suga asked.

 

“Next, we talk to Tobio and Tadashi and Kazuhito,” Daichi said. “We bring you up to speed and bring them up to speed and decide where to go from there.”

 

“Narita has a family thing tonight, so we can do it at my house after afternoon practice tomorrow,” Asahi suggested.

 

“Sounds good,” Daichi said. “I’ll text the others. In the meantime, I’m hungry and that diner is closing in an hour and a half, so we’d better get going.”

 

Daichi and Asahi stood and started walking, still talking logistics between the two of them. Kei let Suga off of his lap and took his hand, walking more slowly behind them.

 

“You okay?” he asked quietly. Suga squeezed his hand.

 

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “But I’m here. And I’ll figure it out as we go.”

 

“Good,” Kei said. “We’re here with you, to help you along the way.”  


“When did you get so grown up?” Suga asked, knocking his shoulder into Kei.

 

“I don’t know why people keep asking me that,” Kei said. “I’m just saying what’s true.”

 

“It’s very grown-up of you to do,” Suga said. “I appreciate it. A lot.”

 

“I’m glad.” They fell silent after that, walking behind Daichi and Asahi in a companionable air. Kei found he rather liked holding Suga’s hand, so he didn’t let go even as they reached the diner and found their seats. He only let go when their food arrived, and even then his hand itched to be back in Suga’s.

 

It was a good night.

 

-

 

Kei found another note the next day, and it stressed him out in a way that the rest of the notes hadn’t so far.

 

There was so much happening in his love life. Narita was just barely integrated into their relationship when all of a sudden there was Asahi to think about, and then Suga. Kei didn’t think he had room in his heart for many more people, much less a secret admirer.

 

But then, his heart had a way of surprising him time and time again. As soon as Daichi brought Asahi to him that morning, Kei found that he wanted to kiss him to be held in his arms and let himself rest. He found the sensation repeated when Suga arrived not long after, grinning and flushed from running from the station. Kei was feeling high, higher than he had even in the past few weeks.

 

Still, this note made him nervous. It was nothing but mindless fluff, the same kind of poetry that had been in the last few, but it felt so much more real this time.

 

“Yamaguchi, tell me who’s writing these,” he whined as they walked to class. Yamaguchi snickered and shook his head. “ _Tadashi._ ”

 

“Don’t Tadashi me, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, plunking down at his desk. “If you want to know who it is, you have to figure it out for yourself.”

 

“Fine,” Kei said, and pulled out a piece of paper. He wrote the names of his teammates on it and stared at the list. Then he crossed off Kageyama and Yamaguchi’s names.

 

“What are you doing?” Yamaguchi asked, turning around in his chair to peer at Kei’s paper. “How do you know it’s someone on the team?”

 

“Like Tobio said, they mentioned that three-on-three in one of the notes. It has to be someone on the team.” Then he furrowed his brow and added Yachi and Kiyoko’s names to the list.

 

“Okay, but how do you know it’s not Tobio or I?” Yamaguchi asked, a grin stretching across his face.

 

“Tobio isn’t sly enough, and you’re too sly,” Kei answered. “It probably isn’t Narita-san, either, since he’s pretty upfront with his feelings.” He crossed Narita off the list.

 

“This is fun,” Yamaguchi hummed. “Watching you try and figure it out. You’re never gonna manage it.”

 

“Watch me,” Kei said through gritted teeth.

 

“Okay, Tsukki, whatever you say.” Yamaguchi turned back around and started pulling his homework out of his bag.

 

Kei focused on his task throughout his first class, having already read the material for that day and the next at home. It couldn’t be Hinata, because the wording was too concise. That ruled out the rest of the idiot squad as well, so he crossed off Nishinoya and Tanaka’s names as well. Then he completely scribbled out Tanaka’s and rewrote it again, knowing how flowery he could get when it came to Kiyoko. It probably wasn’t Daichi; though Kei wouldn’t put it past him to write love notes, he would be the kind of person to sign them. Which meant it wasn’t Suga or Asahi, either. He had a feeling Kiyoko wasn’t involved, though he didn’t know why, and knew that Kinoshita was still miffed with him over the whole issue with Narita. That left Tanaka, Ennoshita, and Yachi.

 

Kei stared at his list. He had narrowed it down to three, but none of them really felt right to him. The thought of any of them, of anyone on the team really, writing love notes to him of all people, was absurd. When the bell rang and their first period teacher began to pack up his things, he whined and dropped his head onto his desk.

 

“There, there, Tsukki,” said Yamaguchi, twisting around to pat him on the head. “You’ll figure it out eventually.”

 

“No I won’t,” Kei replied. “None of these options make sense.”

 

“Well, who have you got so far?” Yamaguchi asked, taking the paper from him. He grinned and handed it back.

 

“What.”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“ _What._ ”

 

“ _Nothing._ ”

 

“Yamaguchi.”

 

“Sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi sang. “I’m not telling you.”

 

“Can you at least tell me if they’re on the list?” Kei asked. Yamaguchi shook his head.

 

“I promised them I wouldn’t tell you who it was,” he said.

 

“So you’ve talked to them about this?” Kei asked. “Did… Did they say why they were writing them?”

 

“They didn’t say directly, but when I mentioned the fact that they were courting you, they didn’t exactly disagree,” Yamaguchi said carefully. “They did say that they didn’t want you to know who they were, because they were worried about you liking them back.”

 

Well then, Kei thought. That did nothing to narrow down his list. Any of the three would be insecure for their own reasons. Though the thought of Tanaka actually worrying about what people thought of him was absurd.

 

That’s when it hit him. Of course it was Tanaka, who else could it be? He quickly crossed off the other two names and scribbled a note before folding the paper and handing it to Yamaguchi. Before Yamaguchi could do much more than unfold it, their next period teacher walked in and began class. Kei paid half attention, his mind too busy reeling with possibilities of his next move.

 

-

 

Gatherings of Daichi’s boyfriends were becoming crowded affairs, but Daichi wouldn’t have it any other way. He sat in Asahi’s lap, watching Suga throw popcorn at Narita and Yamaguchi while Tsukishima laughed at them and Kageyama scowled in confusion. So many of the people he loved, gathered under one roof for the sheer purpose of loving each other. He was so very happy, so very content, here in the heart of his love, with his very soul gathered around him.

 

“What’re you thinking about?” Asahi asked, his voice rumbling low in his chest and making Daichi shiver. He smiled and leaned back against Asahi’s chest.

 

“I’m happy,” he said. Then he frowned. “Is that a bad thing? Everything that’s happened to me, shouldn’t it make me sad? Or angry? Or something other than so completely blissful?”

 

“I think it should make you those things some of the time,” Asahi said. “And it does. I’ve seen it happen. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy the rest of the time. It’s okay to take the things you want and to enjoy them when you have them.”

 

“I want so much,” Daichi said. “Is that selfish of me?” He was suddenly very afraid of what Asahi’s answer would be.

 

“No,” Asahi said. “Not when the things you want are so pure, and so generous. You want your family to be happy and together, not out of greed but out of an overabundance of love. That’s the most beautiful thing about you, Daichi.”

 

“I want you,” Daichi whispered.

 

“You have me,” Asahi replied. “In any way you want me, you have me. Heart, body, and soul.”

 

“What are you two whispering about over there?” Yamaguchi yelled, throwing his pillow in their direction. He shrieked with laughter when Suga took his own pillow and threw it at Yamaguchi. Before Daichi could answer his question a real, actual pillow fight had broken out, with Tsukishima shouting encouragement and trying not to get hit while Narita laughed and leaned against Kageyama. Asahi held Daichi a little tighter, rumbling with laughter, and Daichi laughed too. The chaos increased until they were nothing but a pile of limbs and giggling.

 

Everything was as it should have been, he thought. Even if nothing else was right in his life, this was. This was the most right anything had ever been, and if the cost of having this was having everything else turn upside down and inside out, then Daichi would take it. He would walk through hell for any person in this room, any person on his team, and do it with a smile.

 

Tsukishima looked up at him and grinned, and Daichi felt his heart stutter in his chest. Yes, he decided, smiling back as best he could, everything was as it should have been.

 

So why did he suddenly feel so melancholy?

 

-

 

Chikara was with Tanaka when he found it. He had supposed it would only be a matter of time, but part of him was still shocked when it happened.

 

Tanaka looked so happy when he opened his shoe locker that afternoon to find a note sitting there.

 

“It’s from Tsukishima,” he said, with a tone of wonder in his voice. Chikara shouldered his bag a little higher and considered leaving Tanaka to his note and his happiness. But then Tanaka looked up at Chikara with that grin and those eyes and said, “You have to help me come up with a reply,” and really what could Chikara do?

 

“Of course I will,” Chikara said, and Tanaka looked so happy that a part of Chikara was happy too. After all, Chikara loved-

 

Loved-

 

Loved watching the way his friends lit up when they were happy, Chikara told himself. He took the note from Tanaka and read it over.

 

It was a list of names, all but one of them crossed off. Tanaka’s was circled, and underneath was written _Dear_ _“Me”, make a move already._

 

“Looks to me like you don’t need to write a reply,” Chikara said, handing the note back. “You need to do something else, like actually take him out somewhere. Or even, I don’t know, talk to him.”

 

“I can’t do that,” Tanaka cried, whirling around to face Chikara fully and planting his hands on Chikara’s shoulders. Chikara pretended he didn’t feel like he was flying at the touch.

 

“Why not?” Chikara asked, carefully removing himself from Tanaka’s grasp. “It’s pretty clear he likes you back. Or at least he’s receptive to you. Why would you throw that away?”

 

“ _Because_ ” Tanaka said, rolling his eyes, “what if he doesn’t really like me back? What if he’s just playing some game with me?”

 

“That’s a risk you’re going to have to take, if you ever want any happiness,” Chikara said. He ignored how hypocritical it made him to say that while utterly ignoring his own feelings. “Look, I highly doubt Tsukishima would be the type to play with you over _this_ of all things. He wouldn’t be with all the people he’s with if he wasn’t open to honest communication. You’ve got to take this chance, or you’ll regret it forever.” Chikara knew, better than most, what that would feel like.

 

Tanaka took a shaky breath and grinned at him. “Okay,” he said. “How do I look?”

 

“Like you always do,” Chikara laughed. “Like a mess.”

 

“But a hot mess, right?” Tanaka asked. Chikara only laughed again and turned Tanaka by the shoulders, marching him in the direction of his classroom. His hands felt warm where they touched Tanaka’s shoulders. He dropped Tanaka off at his classroom and walked down the hall to his own, dropping into his seat next to Narita with a sigh.

 

“Do me a favor,” he said without looking away from the ceiling tile he was staring at. “Make sure your boyfriend knows how extremely lucky he is.”

 

“Which one?” Narita asked.

 

“Tsukishima.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I assume he’s told you,” Chikara said. “It’d be pretty shitty of him if he hasn’t.”

 

“Oh, you mean Tanaka?” Narita asked, turning around to face Chikara more fully. “Yeah, he’s told us about him. Why does that make him lucky?”

 

“It just does,” Chikara said. “He’s lucky to have all of you. All of you are lucky to have each other.”

 

“Chikara, what’s this about?” Narita asked. Chikara waved a lazy hand in Narita’s direction.

 

“You guys are cute together,” he said, instead of answering the question. “Make sure it lasts, okay?”

 

Narita gave him a strange look, but didn’t say anything else.

 

-


	9. Chapter 9

Ryuunosuke wasn’t quite sure he was doing the right thing. He hoped he was, and he hoped that everything would turn out all right in the end, but he couldn’t be sure. Not when two paths were spread out in front of him and both looked equally tantalizing. One led to Tsukishima, to joining the quickly-growing group in the center of the team, to being part of a whole. The other, well.

 

The other led to Ennoshita.

 

Ryuunosuke wasn’t blind. He knew when someone liked him. He knew that Ennoshita was trying desperately to keep his feelings in check. And if Ryuunosuke was being honest with himself, he knew that he didn’t want him to.

 

So that was Ryuunosuke’s choice. Many boyfriends, or one. The group, Tsukishima, the family they were building, or Ennoshita.

 

Really, it was an easy choice to make. They would all be fine without him. Ennoshita would not. He would waste away under his mother’s rule until he was nothing more than a shell of what he had the potential to be. So Ryuunosuke walked up to him one day after a study session at Ennoshita’s house with a piece of paper and an envelope addressed to Tsukishima.

 

“I thought you were gonna ask him out in person,” Ennoshita said, though he took the paper and the pen Ryuunosuke offered him and sat down at his table.

 

“I was,” Ryuunosuke said. “But then I realized I wanted to do something a little different.”

 

“Okay,” Ennoshita said, his voice exasperated and fond. “What do you want it to say?”

 

“Dear Tsukishima,” Ryuunosuke dictated with as much gravitas as he could muster. “This letter is hard for me to write, for several reasons. I like you, Tsukishima, and a part of me always will. But this letter is to say goodbye.” Ennoshita looked up at him, but didn’t say anything. After a moment, he looked back down and wrote out Ryuunosuke’s dictation. “You see,” Ryuunosuke continued, “I know you’ll be okay with or without me. That you have people to take care of you and make sure you’re loved the way you deserve. But there’s someone else who doesn’t have that, who deserves all the love in the world and who won’t get it from anyone if I don’t give it to him.

 

“I love him, Tsukishima, as much as I love you, and that has made this choice difficult. But I think it’s for the best for everyone involved.” Ennoshita stopped writing, his hand shaking, but Ryuunosuke continued, sitting down across from him and staring him straight in the eye. “You see, this guy, he’s probably the smartest person I know. And he’s so funny, and such a soothing presence to be around. He understands me, better than probably anyone else, and I think that I understand him too. He’s fun when he wants to be, and serious when he needs to be, and he balances me in ways no one else has.

 

“I love him. And I know he loves me back. So I’ve decided to be with him, because someone with that much love in their heart deserves to have it returned.”

 

Ennoshita was shaking all over by then, avoiding Ryuunosuke’s gaze. Ryuunosuke reached out and settled a hand over Ennoshita’s, giving him a small smile when he looked up at him. “I love Tsukishima,” he explained softly. “But he’s not the only one I love.”

 

“And,” Ennoshita said, his voice shaking as much as his hands, “who are we writing the new notes to?”

 

“No one,” Ryuunosuke replied. “It would be kind of silly to make you write a note to yourself. Though,” he said, pausing to think about it, “it might be a good exercise in self-love for you. Maybe we should do that.”

 

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Ennoshita whispered.

 

“No, Chikara, for once in my life, I know exactly what I’m saying,” Ryuunosuke said. “I know what I’m doing, I know what choice I’m making. I know what I’m giving up, and I know what I stand to gain. I’m choosing you, Chikara, over all of the others. You’re the one I want to be with.”

 

“But Tsukishima-” Ennoshita said, then closed his mouth as though the words died on his lips.

 

“Tsukishima will be fine,” Ryuunosuke said. Ennoshita shook his head.

 

“But he loves you back,” he said. “You can’t just get his hopes up and drop them like that.”

 

“He’ll understand,” Ryuunosuke said. “It’ll suck for a while, but he’ll get over it. You, on the other hand, will never get over anything if you don’t let yourself have some happiness.”

 

“I can’t,” Ennoshita said, glancing at the door. “Ryuu, I can’t, my mother-”

 

“Doesn’t need to know.” Ennoshita stopped at that, watching him with a slow and calculating look. Ryuunosuke watched the wheels turn behind Ennoshita’s eyes, the thought process as he worked through what Ryuunosuke was offering him, and what it would mean. He took a shaky breath and twined his fingers through Ryuunosuke’s.

 

“It would never work,” he said, even as he held Ryuunosuke tight.

 

“We could make it work,” Ryuunosuke said. “I’m sure of what I want. All I need is to know that you want it too.”

 

“I-” Ennoshita stared at him, a desperate light in his eyes. “I’m scared,” he admitted at last.

 

“I’m scared too,” Ryuunosuke told him. “I’m scared of losing you, I’m scared of losing myself. But it’s worth the risk, to have a few moments of happiness. And who knows? Maybe those few moments will turn into something much, much longer than that.”

 

“Are you promising me forever?” Ennoshita asked, a smile quirking across his lips. Ryuunosuke loved that smile, loved everything about it. He reached out his other hand and settled it over their twined fingers.

 

“I’m promising you as long as I am physically capable of,” he said. “As long as you want me, as long as you can tolerate me, as long as there is breath in my lungs, I’m yours, Chikara. To do with what you will.”

 

“You can’t offer me that,” Ennoshita said. “You have to keep something of yourself free.”

 

“I am free,” Ryuunosuke said. “I’m free to make this choice, and I’m making it. I love you, Chikara. I love you so much. And I want to be with you. So. Will you be my boyfriend?”

 

Ennoshita looked down at their joined hands, a blush spreading across his cheeks. Slowly, he nodded.

 

“I will,” he said, and that was that.

 

-

 

Kei didn’t notice Tanaka and Ennoshita walking into the gym hand-in-hand, but Kageyama did. He nudged Kei with his elbow and nodded over to where they were standing too close to each other, laughing at something Tanaka had said, exuding an air of happiness that only came from one source.

 

“Well then,” Kei said. “That’s not what I expected.”

 

“I thought you and Tanaka-san were on your way to going out with each other,” Kageyama said. Narita looked up at him, then over at Tanaka and Ennoshita. He smiled.

 

“Chikara’s had a massive crush on Ryuu for over a year now,” he said. “I don’t know what happened, but I can’t say I’m surprised.

 

“I am,” Kageyama said. Narita reached out to ruffle his hair.

 

“This doesn’t rule out their getting together,” he said. “Just because you’re dating one person doesn’t mean you can’t date another, with the right amount of communication and consent. You should know that, Tobio.”

 

“I do, I just-”

 

“I don’t think Ennoshita-san would be into that sort of thing,” Kei explained for him. Kageyama nodded, looking back at where Tanaka was brushing some of Ennoshita’s hair off of his forehead. Kei blushed and looked away, filled with the sense that this was too intimate for him to see.

 

“I think Chikara wants to love and be loved as much as the rest of us,” Narita said, turning away as well.

 

“Even if you’re right, it’s not something we can rush,” Kei said. “If this is what they want, this is what they should have. I’m not going to interfere.”

 

“That’s your prerogative,” Narita said.

 

“What’s a prerogative?” Kageyama asked.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kei laughed. “Let’s get stretched out and start practice already.” Kageyama perked up at that, and Kei laughed at him again.

 

Narita helped Kei stretch out, his hands warm and gentle on Kei’s body. It made Kei’s breath come a little short and his hands feel a little shaky. He shook his head and pushed the feeling away.

 

“I’m proud of you, Kei,” Narita said, then flushed. “I mean, I don’t mean to be condescending, I just-”

 

“You’re fine,” Kei said, taking his hands and pulling gently to help him stretch his spine. “What do you mean, though?”

 

“I mean, you’ve been handling all of this remarkably well,” Narita said. “First Suga-san and Asahi-san, now Ryuu and Chikara. I’m proud of how calm you’ve been through all of this.”

 

“I’ve tried the whole melting-down thing,” Kei said. “It didn’t get me far. I’ve decided to let things go the way they intend to go. They’ll get there whether I help them or hinder them or do nothing at all.”

 

“Maybe,” Narita hummed. “But maybe some things do need our help.”

 

“Things like what?” Kei asked. Narita nodded over Kei’s shoulder to where Yamaguchi and Yachi were standing, talking excitedly about something or other. Kei furrowed his brow.

 

“I mean, sure, he thinks she’s cute, but do you think that’s enough for…?” Kei trailed off, watching the way Yachi blushed and tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. Yamaguchi watched the motion intently, then blushed as well. “Oh,” Kei said.

 

“Oh is right,” Narita said. “If he hadn’t been so wrapped up in you in the beginning of the year, I was sure those two would have been together by now.”

 

“But neither of them will ever make a move on the other,” Kei said, slowly coming to understand what Narita was saying.

 

“So, as his boyfriends, it’s up to us to meddle,” Narita said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Kei smiled.

 

“You sure this isn’t overstepping our bounds?” he asked.

 

“Oh, it’s definitely overstepping,” Narita said. “But we’re going to do it anyway.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Kei said. Daichi called the team to start their warm up and Kei let thoughts of Yachi and Yamaguchi slip to the back of his mind, where they would percolate and ferment until just the right moment.

 

He had all the time in the world, a giddy, luxurious thing he never expected to have. It was nice, for a change, to not have to worry about the next step, to let it unfold as it would. He beamed at Yamaguchi when they were set across the net from each other for a three-on-three, and Yamaguchi laughed and smiled back. He had no idea what Kei was planning. Kei intended to keep it that way.

 

-

 

Kiyoko saw the moment Tsukishima began plotting. A protective urge rose in her, that she quickly stomped down. Yachi was her own person, after all, and it wasn’t up to Kiyoko to control her love life. And Tsukishima had chosen well. Yamaguchi would be good to Yachi, almost as good as she deserved. No one would ever be good enough for her, but Yamaguchi would come close.

 

Kiyoko had known it was only a matter of time before one of the boys took an interest in her. They couldn’t be focused on Kiyoko forever, or even on each other. Yachi was sweet, was an angel in disguise, was everything good in the world. It was bound to happen eventually that one of them took notice. She supposed it was a blessing that it happened after so many of them got caught up in each other rather than going straight for Yachi. This way, they had something to ground themselves, rather than flying too close to the sun that was Yachi’s attention.

 

Still, a part of her worried. She walked up to Yachi when Yamaguchi left, not sure what to say to her, not sure why she was so unsure. Kiyoko was a rock to the team, a steady pillar that they all leaned on without realizing they were doing it. She was supposed to be strong, to be in control, to be steady.

 

“What’s wrong, Kiyoko-san?” Yachi asked, looking up from her clipboard. Kiyoko stiffened, startled. Then she smiled.

 

“Nothing important,” she said. “What are we set to do today?”

 

Yachi showed Kiyoko her clipboard and together they went over the team’s weak points and training plans. It was nice, talking with Yachi in a language meant only for the two of them, analyzing and nitpicking and pulling things apart only to put them back together again. Yachi lit up with this sort of work, and it was nice to see her coming out of her shell to be confident and strong and smart like Kiyoko knew she could be.

 

Yachi was so much more than she realized, so much more than anyone realized yet. Kiyoko loved her, in a way she hadn’t known she could love anyone. But Yachi belonged to herself, and deserved to choose for herself. So Kiyoko would let Yachi choose, let her be wooed by Yamaguchi and the others, let her have all the love she deserved.

 

If Kiyoko was left behind, well. It would turn out okay in the end.

 

-

 

Koushi still wasn’t sure he was supposed to be here. Sitting on Asahi’s couch with Daichi’s head in his lap and Tsukishima leaning back against his shins, he felt like an interloper, like an intruder on their happiness. As the other two fell asleep against him, Koushi’s anxiety skyrocketed.

 

Asahi came down the stairs just as Koushi was trying to figure out how to extract himself from the couch and run away. He took one look at Koushi and smiled, shaking his head, and came to perch on the arm of the couch. He settled a hand on the back of Koushi’s neck and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

 

“Stop trying to run away,” he whispered. “We want you here, Koushi.”

 

“It doesn’t feel real,” Koushi said. “It feels like I’m going to wake up and all of this will be a dream.”

 

“I know how you feel,” Asahi said. “I still can’t believe it’s real either.”

 

“It’ll feel more real if you shut up and let us love you,” Tsukishima mumbled.

 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Asahi asked, reaching out to run his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair. Tsukishima made a soft noise in the back of his throat and leaned into the touch. Koushi’s heart clenched at the sight of them, of Tsukishima so soft and tender.

 

“No, you didn’t,” Tsukishima said. “I should probably get going, though. Mom’ll be expecting me home for dinner.”

 

“Nooooo, don’t go,” Daichi whined against Koushi’s stomach. “Stay forever.”

 

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” Tsukishima asked, laughter coloring his voice.

 

“’S Asahi’s house, but maybe someday,” Daichi yawned, rolling over to face Tsukishima. “Someday,” he said, sounding more awake, “we’re gonna have a big house for all of us, and no one will ever be left out again.”

 

“You’re a dreamer,” Koushi said, running his fingers through Daichi’s hair.

 

“It’s a nice dream, though,” Asahi said. “Maybe someday it’ll come true.”

 

“It will,” Daichi said. “I know it will.”

 

And that was it, wasn’t it? Koushi knew that Daichi was telling the truth, that he genuinely believed they would all live happily ever after. And if Daichi believed it, well, maybe Koushi could too.

 

-

 

Wooing Yachi for Yamaguchi turned out to be more of a conundrum than Kei expected. It was one thing to get Yamaguchi to go out with Kageyama; Yamaguchi had been aware of his feelings for him. With Yachi, things were different. With Yachi, things were difficult.

 

It didn’t help that Yachi was so shy herself. She liked Yamaguchi, Kei could tell, but she was too embarrassed to say anything about it. Least of all to Yamaguchi. Least of all to Kei.

 

Kei was going to have to get her to open up, one way or another. He grit his teeth and squared his shoulders against the challenge and strode over to her. She squeaked and shrank away.

 

“Whatever it is, I’m sorry!” she cried. “Take my wallet, it’s in my bag, just don’t hurt me!” Kei stopped short.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said.

 

“You’re… not?” She blushed. “Sorry. You just seemed so angry, and…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Kei said. She blinked owlishly at him. Suddenly he realized he had no idea what he was doing. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, then turned and walked away.

 

Narita was standing nearby, his eyes on Kei, and as Kei walked up to him he burst out laughing.

 

“What was that?” he asked.

 

“Shut up,” Kei muttered. Narita wrapped an arm around his waist, still laughing. Kei found himself smiling. “It may surprise you to hear this, but I’m not very good at this sort of thing,” he said.

 

“Who, you?” Narita laughed. “I would never have guessed.”

 

“Stop laughing at me,” Kei whined.

 

“This would go a lot easier if you just told Tadashi what you were after,” Narita said. “He’s a big boy who can make his own decisions, you know.”

 

“What if he makes the wrong decision, though?” Kei asked. Narita reached up to cup his cheek.

 

“That’s something we’re gonna have to let him decide for himself,” he said. “We can’t force him to be with Yacchan. He has to come to it on his own.”

 

“You’re right,” Kei sighed. “You’re always right.”

 

“I sure hope not,” Narita laughed. “I’m a pessimist at heart, you know, and I’d really rather be wrong most of the time.”

 

“I suppose you’re right,” Kei sighed. He smiled. “Again.”

 

“If it’s any consolation, I think all Tadashi needs is a nudge in the right direction,” Narita said. “Tell him how you feel, and he’s sure to listen.”

 

“I’m not good at telling people how I feel,” Kei said.

 

“You’ve gotta get better at it, if you want this relationship to last. Even with the number of people we have, if we get no more, you’ll need to learn.”

 

“I know,” Kei said. “I just don’t like stepping outside of my comfort zone.”

 

“No one ever does,” Narita said. “But now’s your chance to practice. There’s Tadashi right there. Go talk to him.”

 

“Great,” Kei muttered, turning to see Yamaguchi standing not so far away, a serene smile on his face. Narita grinned and clapped him on the shoulder.

 

“Go get ‘em, tiger,” he said.

 

“Right,” Kei said. “I’ll just. Do that.” Narita rolled his eyes.

 

“Hey, Tadashi, c’mere a second,” he called. Yamaguchi perked up and trotted over, a grin on his face.

 

“What’s up, Kazu?” he asked. Narita grinned.

 

“Kei here has something to talk to you about,” he said, and then, like the bastard he was, he walked away. Yamaguchi looked at Kei, confusion dancing across his face.

 

“Tsukki?” he asked. Kei groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Tsukki, what is it?”

 

“It’s nothing important, I promise,” Kei said. “I just wanted to know how you feel about Yachi.”

 

“Yacchan? She’s great. Why?” Understanding dawned across Yamaguchi’s face. “Tsukki, do you have a crush on her?” he asked.

 

“No!” Kei cried. “You do!”

 

“I what?” Yamaguchi laughed. “No I don’t.”

 

“Sure you do,” Kei said. “You both do. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. It’s obvious, to everyone on the team.”

 

“…Is it really?” Yamaguchi mumbled, blushing and looking away. Kei reached out to tilt his chin up, smiling at him.

 

“You should go for it,” he said.

 

“I’ll have to talk to the others first,” Yamaguchi said, then he set his shoulders stubbornly. “And you’re going to date her with me.”

 

“Oh? Why’s that?” Kei asked, bemused.

 

“Because I want to share this with you,” Yamaguchi said. “Because I want you two to love each other the way I love you. The same reason I want to date everyone else with you. Because loving alongside you helps me to love toward you.”

 

“You’re a sap,” Kei muttered, shoving his hand in Yamaguchi’s face. Yamaguchi laughed softly, taking Kei’s wrist and pulling his hand down a bit. He pressed a kiss to Kei’s knuckles and smiled at him, that sweet, loyal smile he reserved only for Kei. It made Kei’s stomach feel tight and his cheeks feel hot. “Go,” Kei said. “Go sweep her off her feet.”

 

“We have practice first,” Yamaguchi said. “I’ll sweep her off her feet after.”

 

“See that you do,” Kei ordered. Yamaguchi laughed and saluted him, jogging off to where Nishinoya was waiting for him.

 

-

 

“What were you and Tsukishima talking about?” Yuu asked when Yamaguchi reached him to practice his jump float serve. Yamaguchi blushed.

 

“Nothing important,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“Seemed pretty important,” Yuu said. “Seemed like it was something embarrassing.”

 

“It was, and that means I’m not telling you,” Yamaguchi said. “Now, go get in position, senpai, or there’s no point in this exercise.”

 

“Bossy,” Yuu muttered, but he jogged over to his spot on the line nonetheless. Yamaguchi lined up the serve and Yuu’s world slowed to a halt.

 

The lines of Yamaguchi’s body were beautiful. His legs were slender and strong, his stomach soft and freckled where his shirt rode up, his arms long and wired with muscle. He stared at Yuu with single-minded focus, and Yuu’s heart stuttered unevenly in his chest. He forced himself to look at the ball instead, tearing his attention away from Yamaguchi with an almost physical effort.

 

Later, when practice was over and everyone had gone their separate ways for the night, Yuu walked alone in the chill of evening, hands stuffed in his pockets and chin tucked close to his chest. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out, groaning at what he saw.

 

It was a picture message from Tanaka, of Yamaguchi in the middle of a jump serve, with several peach and eggplant emojis. Yuu rolled his eyes and tapped out a reply.

 

ME: [Not funny Ryuu]

 

RYUU: [It’s pretty funny]

 

Yuu reached his apartment building and walked up the stairs and into his apartment before replying. He fell onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

 

ME: [How’d you get so lucky???]

 

ME: [I mean]

 

ME: [The guy you like likes you back??? How???]

 

RYUU: [Oh Noyasan]

 

ME: [Don’t oh noyasan me]

 

RYUU: [You just gotta take the plunge dude. Be a man and just do it]

 

ME: [I don’t think I can]

 

ME: [It’s not like with you and Chikara. He’s got boyfriends already]

 

RYUU: [So whats one more?]

 

ME: [What do you mean]

 

RYUU: [Whats to say he doesn’t want one more]

 

Yuu thought about it. It was tempting to believe that Yamaguchi would welcome one more boyfriend, one more person to love and love him in return. But it was too obvious to Yuu that Tanaka was wrong, that Yamaguchi was at his capacity. And even if he wasn’t, why would he want someone like Yuu?

 

It wasn’t that Yuu’s self-esteem was low or anything like that. He knew he was a catch. It was just that he was a realist, and he knew that Yamaguchi didn’t have feelings for him. Why would Yamaguchi want to be with someone he didn’t love? Especially when he had so many other options. Yuu rolled over and stuffed his face in his pillow. He knew he should answer Tanaka, but he was too tired to do so. So instead he closed his eyes and let his thoughts wander. They wandered, like they usually did, to Yamaguchi and how beautiful he was.

 

Yuu fell asleep still thinking about him.

 

-

 

Tadashi was getting sick of the way Tsukishima kept looking at him. It was like he was expecting Tadashi to explode at any moment, like he was waiting for a nuclear meltdown to occur. Tadashi threw his hands in the air one day during their lunch and slammed them down on the desk.

 

“What, Tsukki?” he shouted. Several heads turned to face them and he flushed. Tsukishima waited until everyone had gone about their business to turn back to Tadashi.

 

“What was that all about?” he asked.

 

“You keep staring at me,” Tadashi said. “Why?”

 

“Because you’re beautiful and I like looking at you?” Tsukishima asked.

 

“No, try again,” Tadashi said.

 

“Fine,” Tsukishima muttered. “I’m waiting for you to freak out.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it’s what I always do?” Tsukishima said. “I don’t know how people have feelings for other people without doing it?”

 

“That’s… very introspective?” Tadashi said. “But you do realize that everyone doesn’t react to things the same way you do, right?”

 

“I realize that,” Tsukishima muttered. “It’s just, if anyone’s gonna be similar to me, it’s you.”

 

Tadashi smiled and reached out to twine his fingers with Tsukishima’s. “Sweetheart,” he said. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

“Is it? Are you feeling okay? It’s okay to be feeling weird, as long as you talk to me and-”

 

“Tsukki!” Tadashi laughed. “I’m fine, really.” He smiled softly down at their joined hands. “I’m fine.”

 

Tsukishima squeezed his hand and reached out with his other to tilt Tadashi’s chin up. “Are you really?” he asked quietly.

 

Tadashi shrugged. “I don’t really know how to go about this,” he said. “It’s been a while since I haven’t known how someone would react to me. Not since I was pretending not to be in love with you. It’s scary.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Tsukishima said. “How about this: we’ll ask her out together, tomorrow morning before practice, and if it goes poorly I’ll fake being sick and you can take me home and we can drown our sorrows in video games and algebra. Sound good?”

 

“Only you would consider algebra a comfort food,” Tadashi laughed. “But yeah, it sounds good.”

 

“Good. Now, promise me next time you’ll be honest with me in the first place, not pretend to be fine when you’re really not?”

 

“Only if you promise me the same,” Tadashi said. Tsukishima smiled at him.

 

“I promise,” he said.

 

-

 

Being with Tanaka made Chikara want to be brave. It made him want to reach out and take the things that he wanted, no matter what his mother thought about it.

 

But that was exactly the problem. His mother could never know what he wanted, or it would break her heart - and in turn she would break Chikara’s. So they spent their time at the Tanakas’ residence, up in Tanaka’s bedroom with the music turned down low so they could hear if Saeko came home early.

 

They had told Saeko about their relationship the same day they had gotten together. It had terrified Chikara to do it, but Tanaka had assured him it would be fine, and that they would both be better off for having been honest with her. And Saeko had reacted in exactly the opposite way Chikara had expected, though exactly in the way he _should_ have expected. She’d thrown her arms around Chikara’s shoulders and shouted in his ear, all about her excitement that her baby brother had finally brought home a date.

 

Still, telling Saeko and being walked in on by Saeko were two totally different things. So they kept the music down low and listened for any sound that could portend her arrival as they made out on Tanaka’s bed.

 

Tanaka ran his fingers through Chikara’s hair, tugging gently and making Chikara groan. He nipped at Chikara’s lips and licked his way into Chikara’s mouth and did everything he could to make Chikara fall apart at the seams. Finally, it became too much and Chikara rolled off of Tanaka, staring at the ceiling and panting. Tanaka tangled their fingers together and stared up in silence with Chikara. Then,

 

“Ryuu, why did you give up on Tsukishima?”

 

Tanaka rolled over to look at Chikara, a long, assessing look. He smiled softly, a beautiful thing that was so different from his usual sunburn-and-lightning smile.

 

“Why do you ask?” he asked. Chikara shrugged and rolled over so they were both on their sides, facing one another.

 

“You like him so much,” he said. “What made you change your mind about him?” Why choose me? Chikara thought to himself, but didn’t say it out loud. Tanaka seemed to hear it anyway, and ran his thumb across Chikara’s knuckles.

 

“I didn’t so much choose between you as much as circumstances chose for me,” Tanaka said. “Tsukishima had people to make him feel happy and loved. You didn’t. It was an easy choice to make.”

 

“But aren’t you worried you’re missing out on something?” Chikara asked.

 

“If I had gone out with Tsukishima, I would have ended up going out with all the others too,” Tanaka reasoned. “And that would have been good. Great, even. But it wouldn’t have been the same as going out with you. And I would have missed out on this, on the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

“But how do you know they wouldn’t have been the best thing?” Chikara asked.

 

“I don’t.” Tanaka shrugged. “Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.”

 

“Doesn’t it?” Chikara felt so very small just then. Tanaka looked at him seriously.

 

“It doesn’t,” he said. “It absolutely doesn’t. Nothing would ever make this anything less than absolutely worth everything. I love you, Chikara.”

 

“I…” Chikara’s throat closed. He couldn’t say it, not yet. He knew that Tanaka knew it was true, that he didn’t need Chikara to say it. But the fact was, Chikara wanted to say it. He wanted to be able to give Tanaka all the love and affection he deserved. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He wanted the world to know that this incredible creature was his and that he was Tanaka’s. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t even whisper the truth to Tanaka himself. He felt awful.

 

“Hey,” Tanaka said softly. “It’s okay.”

 

“It’s not,” Chikara said. “I can’t even- You deserve-” he snorted and fell silent.

 

“It’s okay, Chika,” Tanaka said. “I understand without you having to tell me. And I understand why you can’t right now. There’s no pressure. We can do things in our own time.”

 

Chikara nodded and let himself pretend it was true.

 

-

 

Today was the day. Kei and Yamaguchi were going to ask Yachi out. They were going to walk right up to her and ask her on a date. It would be fine, and they would have each other. It was just Yachi. There was nothing scary at all about her.

 

So why did Kei feel so terrified? Why did his hands shake in his pockets and his steps feel uneven and insecure? Why did his heart pound and his palms sweat?

 

“Why is it,” Kei asked as he and Yamaguchi and Kageyama walked to school, “that even though I now have six boyfriends, the thought of asking one more person out makes me feel about two inches tall? It’s just Yachi. It should be easy to ask her out.”

 

“Because being vulnerable never gets easier,” Kageyama said. “Because you’re still opening a part of yourself up and asking not to be rejected.”

 

“Thanks,” Kei muttered.

 

“Any time,” Kageyama said, as they approached the school. Yachi was standing outside the gym with her clipboard. Kageyama clapped both of them on the shoulders and walked into the gym where Daichi and Asahi were waiting for him, matching grins on their faces as they watched Kei and Yamaguchi. The doors slid shut, making Yachi jump and Kei groan.

 

“Here goes nothing,” Kei said, and grabbed Yamaguchi by the arm, dragging him over to her.

 

“Yachi-san,” Yamaguchi said, and bowed to her. Kei did the same, little more than an inclination of his head, but a bow nonetheless.

 

“What’s going on?” Yachi squeaked. Kei looked at Yamaguchi and Yamaguchi looked at Kei and they both looked back at Yachi.

 

“Please go out with us,” they said in terrifying unison. Yamaguchi chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, and Kei flushed, gesturing for Yamaguchi to go ahead.

 

“We wanted to ask you out on a date,” Yamaguchi said. “We like you, and were hoping you could return our feelings.”

 

“We understand if you’re intimidated by the thought of all seven of us, so we were wondering if you would be comfortable with just the two,” Kei added.

 

Yachi stared up at them, eyes flicking from one to the other and back again. She began to tremble.

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Yamaguchi said, reaching out toward her. She squeaked and bolted away. Yamaguchi and Kei stared at the spot where she had disappeared.

 

Yamaguchi burst into tears.


	10. Chapter 10

Kei held Yamaguchi close to his chest, lying on his side in Yamaguchi’s bed and letting him sob. He hadn’t expected him to take Yachi’s rejection so hard, but here they were. Kei had barely managed to get Yamaguchi away from the rest of the team, whispering to him to hold it together as they made their way down the hill and toward their houses. He had chosen Yamaguchi’s because his own mother hadn’t left for work yet, and he didn’t want any prying questions.

 

Yamaguchi was a mess. He held onto Kei’s shirt and howled while Kei held him close.

 

“Shhh,” Kei whispered. “It’s okay.”

 

“I know,” Yamaguchi wailed. “I know it’s okay. I’m just a big baby!”

 

“You’re not a big baby, you pathetic lump,” Kei said sweetly, running his fingers through Yamaguchi’s hair. “You are perfectly all right. It’s okay to feel this way.”

 

“Why did she run?” Yamaguchi sniffled. “I thought she liked me, I thought-”

 

“I don’t know,” Kei whispered. “I don’t know, but we’re going to figure it out. I’ll talk to her tomorrow, and we’ll figure all this out. In the meantime, you just cry, because it’s okay to cry.”

 

“Tsukki, stop trying to sound like your therapist,” Yamaguchi muttered. He wiped his face on Kei’s shirt and looked up at him. Kei was struck by how beautiful he was, even with tears and snot running down his face, and leaned in to kiss him gently.

 

“I love you,” he said. “I only want the best for you. And if that includes Yachi, I’ll make sure it happens.”

 

“Please don’t do anything ridiculous,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“Oh, I’m going to do something ridiculous,” Kei promised. Yamaguchi laughed, and Kei smiled at him. “There’s the beautiful boy I love so much.”

 

“Sappy,” Yamaguchi accused.

 

“Only for you,” Kei said.

 

“And five other boys,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“And five other boys. But mostly you.” Yamaguchi beamed up at him and everything was okay, if only for a moment.

 

-

 

Everything was not okay. Everything was the opposite of okay. Hitoka was panicking, and nothing would ever be okay again.

 

She had taken refuge behind the vending machine near the shoe lockers inside the school, praying Yamaguchi and Tsukishima wouldn’t come looking for her. Her breathing was too fast and her heart was racing and she knew she needed to calm herself down before this turned into a full-blown panic attack, the first she’d have had since joining the volleyball team. She took a deep and shaky breath through her nose, letting it out too quickly and taking another. Slowly, she calmed herself down, and sat with her face buried in her arms.

 

It was Tanaka who found her. Hitoka wasn’t sure if they had just sent him, or if the entire team was out looking for her. He made a small, surprised noise, but then sat beside her without saying a word.

 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I know you’re looking for me, but I can’t-”

 

“Actually, I was looking for Tsukishima and Yamaguchi,” he said with a shrug. “But I’ll take you over the two of them any day.”

 

“Don’t say that! That’s not-”

 

“It’s a joke, Yacchan,” he said, putting a careful hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

 

She looked up at him, at the sweet face she had been so afraid of when she first joined the team. He was genuinely concerned for her, and he genuinely put her comfort and happiness as one of his top priorities. He wanted to know that she was okay, and wouldn’t leave until he did.

 

She shook her head. “I messed up,” she said.

 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” he told her. “Why don’t you tell me what happened, and we can see if we can sort it out together.”

 

So she told him. She told him all about her crush on Yamaguchi and how she was so intimidated by Tsukishima. She told him how they had asked her out together, and she had run away. And she told him how much she hated herself for it.

 

“Well, now, that doesn’t seem like it’s so unfixable,” he said.

 

“But I ruined everything!” she cried. “Tsukishima-kun is going to hate me now, and I’ll never get to date Yamaguchi-kun!”

 

“I don’t know about that,” Tanaka said. “Yamaguchi’s not a hard guy to figure out. He likes you, likes you a lot, and that means you’re in. Tsukishima’s protective, sure, but he wants what’s best for Yamaguchi. If Yamaguchi likes you as much as I think he does, then you should have no problem. After all, they asked you out together, didn’t they?”

 

“Yeah, but then I ran away,” Hitoka said. “I ruined any affection they might have had toward me.”

 

“You know what I think?” Tanaka asked. “I think you just need to be brave. You just need to square your shoulders, puff up your chest, and tell them how you feel. And be blunt about it, and honest, or Tsukishima won’t believe you.”

 

“I don’t think I can do that,” Hitoka whispered.

 

“Sure you can,” Tanaka said. “You’re one of the bravest people I know.”

 

And that was the thing, wasn’t it? Here was objectively the most courageous person on the team, telling Hitoka she was brave like he actually believed it. And if Tanaka could believe in her, well. Maybe she could believe in herself.

 

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll do it. I’ll go right up to them and tell them how I feel.”

 

“Great!” Tanaka said, clapping her gently on the shoulder. “But we gotta find them first. They never showed up for practice.”

 

Hitoka furrowed her brow at that. For all that they pretended otherwise, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima genuinely loved volleyball. Neither of them missed practice if they could help it. Which meant something horrible had happened! Hitoka’s breath began to come faster as she realized that whatever horrible thing, it was all her fault.

 

“Hey, hey,” Tanaka said, rubbing her back. “Calm down. It’s not your fault, they probably just wanted some alone time. We’ll give them until tomorrow, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Hitoka whispered, then nodded to herself. “Okay.”

 

-

 

The last thing Tadashi wanted to do was to go to school the next day. He had spent the night at Tsukishima’s house, numbing the pain with video games and homework. They had awoken early and made breakfast for themselves and Tsukishima’s mother. When they could delay no longer, Tsukishima all but dragged Tadashi out of the house.

 

“Tsukki, can’t we say that I’m sick?” Tadashi whined.

 

“If we do, you’ll just have to face it all over again tomorrow,” Tsukishima said evenly. “Come on, Dashi,” he said. Tadashi stopped in his tracks and whined wordlessly.

 

“Tsukki, you can’t do that to me,” he cried.

 

“I can do anything I like,” Tsukishima said, smirking. “Dashi.”

 

“Fine!” Tadashi shouted. “I’ll go to practice! Just to get you to stop calling me that!”

 

“And so that you can get over this,” Tsukishima added. “So that you can move on with your life and be happy out of spite, like I am.”

 

“You’re never happy,” Tadashi laughed.

 

“I’m happy when I’m with you,” Tsukishima said, taking Tadashi’s hand. Tadashi felt his cheeks heat up, but he let Tsukishima have it. They walked down the street together in silence.

 

Yachi was waiting for them at the front gate. Tadashi stopped walking, almost ready to turn around and walk back home. But then Tsukishima put a hand on his lower back and shoved him gently forward.

 

“Ah, Yamaguchi-kun!” Yachi said loudly, then slapped her hands over her mouth.

 

“Yachi-san,” Tadashi said reluctantly. “Hi.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Yachi blurted. “I didn’t mean to run away, I was just so intimidated by you!”

 

“It’s okay, Yachi-san,” Tadashi said, though he knew that Yachi didn’t believe him. He felt Tsukishima coming to stand behind him, and Yachi gave a little squeak of terror. Then an amazing thing happened. Yachi squared her shoulders and looked over Tadashi’s shoulder at Tsukishima, then at Tadashi himself. She bowed.

 

“Please go out with me,” she said.

 

Tadashi took a step back, bumping into Tsukishima, who put his hands on Tadashi’s shoulders to steady him. “I thought-” Tadashi stammered. “I thought you didn’t-”

 

“I’m sorry!” Yachi cried. “I ran away because I was scared, but I really do like you! I want to be with you, I really do. I was just scared.”

 

At first, Tadashi didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. Then Tsukishima nudged him and he realized he was standing there in silence and said quickly, “I was scared too! You just ran away, I thought I had ruined everything!”

 

“I’m sorry!” Yachi cried again. Tsukishima huffed through his nose and stepped around Tadashi to put a hand on each of their shoulders.

 

“You’re both the sorriest things I’ve seen all day,” Tsukishima said. “Are we good here? Are you two together or not?”

 

Yachi began to tremble, and then to laugh. Tadashi’s heart beat unsteadily in his chest, and then he was laughing too. Tsukishima smiled and clapped Tadashi on the shoulder, then turned to go.

 

“Wait, Tsukishima-kun,” said Yachi. “Where are you going?”

 

“I was leaving you two to your happiness, or whatever,” Tsukishima said over his shoulder. Tadashi glanced at Yachi, who nodded, and together they went after him.

 

“Oh no you don’t,” Tadashi laughed, grabbing Tsukishima by one arm while Yachi gabbed him by the other. “Get back here, Tsukki.”

 

“Why?” Tsukishima asked, and Tadashi got the feeling he wasn’t being sarcastic, but was genuinely asking.

 

“Yachi-san?” Tadashi prompted. Yachi blushed, but stared up at Tsukishima.

 

“You never gave me your answer,” she said. “I know Yamaguchi-kun will go out with me, but will you?”

 

“I didn’t think you would want me to,” Tsukishima said. Yachi blushed and looked down.

 

“You intimidate me,” she said. “You scare me and I don’t know if you’ll ever stop scaring me. But I know you can be sweet, and I know you are insecure, and a whole bunch of other things that make you desirable. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have so many people who loved you so much. I want to find out why they love you, so I can love you too.”

 

Tadashi blinked at her, then turned to grin at Tsukishima. “Well?” he nudged.

 

“This is a horrible idea, you realize that, right?” Tsukishima asked them. “I’m prickly and sarcastic and I’m pretty sure the both of you are literal angels. Nothing any of us does is going to change what the other is.”

 

“Maybe I want a little prickly in my life,” Yachi said, tossing her head back and squaring her shoulders and trying to look tough. It was adorable. Tadashi looked up at Tsukishima to find him blushing at her. He grinned.

 

“This is going to be the start of something beautiful, I can just tell,” he said, throwing one arm around Tsukishima’s waist and the other around Yachi’s shoulders. He led them into the gym with that grin still on his face.

 

-

 

Hisashi wasn’t sure what to do with his loser friends. It felt like every time he turned around there was another one making a decision that completely neglected themselves and their hearts and everything they wanted out of life. And here he was again, rolling up his sleeves and dragging Ennoshita away from the rest of the team.

 

“Okay,” he said. “Talk.”

 

“About what?” Ennoshita asked, his voice and face like a clear, glassy lake, betraying none of the swirling emotions Hisashi knew were lingering under the surface. Hisashi rolled his eyes.

 

“About yourself,” he said. “And whatever scheme you’re coming up with but are too scared to tell anyone about.”

 

“You’re scary, you know that?” Ennoshita asked.

 

“I know,” Hisashi said. “Now talk.”

 

Ennoshita blinked at him. Then the facade crumpled and Hisashi got a glimpse beneath the perfectly-controlled boy Ennoshita always tried to portray. He smiled, putting a hand on Ennoshita’s shoulder.

 

“It’s gonna be okay, Chika,” he said. “I promise.”

 

“You can’t keep that promise,” Ennoshita said. Hisashi shook his head.

 

“This one I can.”

 

“Fine,” Ennoshita said, throwing his hands up in the air in what was for him an over-the-top dramatic gesture. Hisashi smiled at him.

 

“So are you going to tell me what you’re up to?” Hisashi asked, leaning against the wall and trying to seem casual. Ennoshita sighed.

 

“So Ryuu is in love with Tsukishima, right?” he said. Hisashi nodded; he had known about the love notes, had caught Tanaka slipping them into Tsukishima’s shoe locker. “But he says that being with me is worth giving that up. And it’s worth giving up being with all the others. But…”

 

“You don’t think it is,” Hisashi finished for him. Ennoshita looked down and nodded. “Well, if Ryuu wants to be with more than just you, that’s something he’s going to have to talk to you about. It’s not a decision you can make for him.”

 

“I know, I just-” Ennoshita snorted in frustration. “Look, this is hard for me, okay?”

 

“Take your time,” Hisashi said. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

 

“But it burned in one,” Ennoshita finished. He took a deep breath. “I love Ryuu,” he said, and Hisashi got the feeling it was more difficult for him to say than Hisashi would ever know. When it was out, it was like a weight had been lifted from Ennoshita’s shoulders. “I love him,” he whispered again. “God, I love him so much. I need to go tell him.” With that, Ennoshita ran off and Hisashi picked up his water bottle, assured that his job here was done.

 

-

 

Kei watched Ennoshita throw his arms around Tanaka, knocking them both to the ground in a laughing embrace, and he wondered again why the notes had stopped. Had he scared Tanaka off by being so up-front with him? Had Tanaka not actually wanted to be with him? Had he just been sending the notes as a way to pass the time until someone - Ennoshita, that is - made a move?

 

If he was being honest, he was of two minds regarding the whole thing. On the one hand, Tanaka was wonderful. He was fun and loyal and loud and brave and everything Kei wanted in another partner. If he had to choose one more person on the team to be with at this point, it would be Tanaka.

 

But on the other hand, Kei was already so overloaded. He now had six boyfriends and a girlfriend, seven partners to think about and keep balanced. One more would probably topple him over.

 

Maybe not, though. Maybe, like Daichi seemed to think, thirteen was the magic number. Maybe having all of them together at once would be perfect the way Daichi seemed to think it would be. Kei shook his head and took a drink from his water bottle. Maybe he was thinking too much into it. He was trying to be the kind of person who just let things happen, not push at them until they broke. Maybe he just needed to take a step back.

 

“What’cha thinking about, Tsukki?” asked the most annoying voice in the world.

 

“Don’t call me that,” he said, turning to face Hinata.

 

“Answer the question, _Tsukki_.” Hinata grinned up at him, and Kei felt his chest grow tight at that smile. He pushed the feeling down. Not pushing things, he reminded himself. Letting them happen as they would. Not pushing things. He ruffled Hinata’s hair and walked away, leaving Hinata squawking and ready to fight, then disappointed when the fight never came. He walked up to the first of his partners he saw.

 

“What’s wrong with me, Asahi-san?” he whined, dropping his head on Asahi’s shoulder. Asahi’s large hand came up to pat him on the back, a soothing motion. A soothing presence. A soothing everything. Kei found himself calming down just by being around Asahi.

 

“You let Daichi get to you, that’s what’s wrong,” Asahi said. “But don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. You wanna talk about anything?”

 

“Not here,” Kei said. “Maybe later.”

 

“Okay. No pressure.” And that right there was what he loved about Asahi. There really was no pressure with him, no urgency or thrumming need. There was just this moment and the calming hand running up and down Kei’s spine. Then the coach blew his whistle and life settled back into a routine.

 

Kei tried to ignore the strange feelings swirling around in his stomach as they played a practice match, a team versus b team. He stood on the other side of the net from Ennoshita and tried to ignore the way his eyes were drawn to him and his mind kept wondering what it was Tanaka saw in him. If he was honest with himself, he knew. He knew exactly why Tanaka loved Ennoshita, and he knew why that love was returned.

 

Kei hated being honest with himself.

 

He focused on the match. Yamaguchi’s serve was doing well, but he seemed to be a weak spot in the team’s spiking power. So he tugged Kageyama over and together they shut him down. Kei grinned at him and he glared at Kei and everything was all right. Everything would be exactly as it was meant to be, no matter whether Kei pushed it or not. So he settled back into the line and played the game.

 

-

 

Ennoshita was leading up to something, Ryuunosuke knew. Whatever it was, it was something big. Ever since Ennoshita had tackled him in practice that morning and whispered into his ear that he loved him, Ryuunosuke had known that this was coming. But he also knew Ennoshita was the type of person who needed time to build up to things.

 

So he waited. And waited. And… waited. Finally, Ryuunosuke was beginning to get worried. Ennoshita was a nervous person, sure, but he wasn’t a coward, no matter what he thought of himself. If there was something truly important to him, he faced it down until it submitted and he got what he wanted.

 

But not today, it would seem. Today, he was content to let it ferment under the surface, to bide his time and sit in Ryuunosuke’s room like nothing was happening.

 

It drove Ryuunosuke nuts.

 

“Ryuu, what is going on with you today?” Ennoshita asked, setting down his pencil and looking up at Ryuunosuke like he had grown a second head.

 

“What’s going on with _you_ today?” Ryuunosuke shot back.

 

“What do you mean?” Ryuunosuke waved his hands around like that could get his message across.

 

“You’ve been leading up to something, but you won’t just spit it out,” he said. “What is it?”

 

“Why do you think I’m leading up to something?” There was a crack in Ennoshita’s veneer, a wobble in his voice and a darting of his eyes that told Ryuunosuke everything he needed to know.

 

“Chikara,” Ryuunosuke said, reaching out to take Ennoshita’s hands. “You know I’m here for you, right?” he asked.

 

“I know,” Ennoshita said. He squeezed Ryuunosuke’s hand. “Okay,” he said. “You win. There is something going on.”

 

“I knew it!” Ryuunosuke cried, pumping his fist in the air. Ennoshita smiled at him, but that smile faded away too quickly. “What is it, babe?” Ryuunosuke asked softly.

 

Ennoshita took a deep breath. “I want you to ask Tsukishima out,” he said.

 

“Babe, we’ve talked about this,” Ryuunosuke said, trying not to groan. “I don’t need to be with Tsukishima. I’m with you, and that makes me happier than you can ever know.”

 

“No, I get that,” Ennoshita said, flapping a hand in front of his face. “I’m not saying be with Tsukishima _or_ me. I’m saying being with Tsukishima _and_ me.”

 

Ryuunosuke blinked. Then blinked again. Then a third time. Of all the directions he had expected this conversation to go, this was not one of them. Dread filled Ryuunosuke’s heart.

 

“Sweetheart, you aren’t just doing this because you think it’s what I want, are you?” he asked.

 

“Of course I am,” Ennoshita said. “I know it’s what you want, and I want you to be happy. I’m telling you I’m okay with it.”

 

“But- _how_?” Ryuunosuke whined, dropping his head onto the table. Ennoshita reached out to pat his head, fingers stroking gently along the base of his skull.

 

“I’ve done a lot of soul searching lately,” he said. “And what I want more than anything else is for you to be happy. I know you love me, but I also know you love Tsukishima, and probably a few of the others too.” Ryuunosuke whined, ashamed to have been caught. “It’s okay, Ryuu. I’m telling you it’s okay with me. I want you to be happy, with as many people as it takes to achieve that.”

 

“How are you so perfect?” Ryuunosuke asked the table. Ennoshita answered him instead.

 

“I was just born this way,” he quipped. Ryuunosuke lifted his head to beam at him, and he got a brilliant smile of his own in return.

 

“Okay, but, do you want me to date him alone?” Ryuunosuke asked. “Or do you want to date him with me?”

 

Ennoshita reared back, blinking quickly, like he hadn’t thought of that. Ryuunosuke laughed at him. “I… don’t know,” he said after a while. “I hadn’t thought- _I don_ _’t know._ ”

 

“It’s okay, babe,” Ryuunosuke said. “We’ll figure it out together.”

 

“Promise?” Ennoshita’s voice was so small, so afraid. Ryuunosuke smiled as softly as he could at him and took his hand.

 

“I promise,” he said. “You and me, for the rest of forever. That’s how it’s meant to be, and that’s how it will be.”

 

“You and me, and maybe Tsukishima,” Ennoshita said.

 

“And maybe Tsukishima,” Ryuunosuke agreed. He sighed. “You are so perfect,” he said.

 

“Why do you sound so sad about that?” Ennoshita asked. Ryuunosuke shrugged.

 

“Because I can never measure up,” he said. “You’re perfect and I’m just, well. Just me.”

 

“There’s no such thing as just you,” Ennoshita said. “You are the mot incredible person I have ever met, and I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

 

It was the first time Ennoshita had offered him forever like that. Ryuunosuke took a shaking breath and nodded, smiling at him. Ennoshita smiled back, and for a moment, everything was perfect. And then the smile dropped from Ennoshita’s face.

 

“What is it?” Ryuunosuke asked.

 

“I hate going behind my mother’s back like this,” he said. “I know that if we told her, she’d ban you from the house and shuttle me off to conversion camp or something horrible like that, but I still hate not telling her. I’ve never not told her something before.”

 

“I know it’s hard on you, babe, but it’s only for a couple more years,” Ryuunosuke said. “Once you hit college you’ll be out of her house and it won’t feel like you’re sneaking around her back all the time.”

 

“I know,” Ennoshita sighed. Ryuunosuke shuffled around the table so he could hug him. Ennoshita slumped into him like he was tired of holding up the weight of the world. Ryuunosuke ran his fingers through Ennoshita’s hair and hummed a wordless tune to him. Ennoshita’s eyes drifted closed and eventually he drifted off to sleep.

 

“You are the most precious person in the world,” Ryuunosuke whispered to him. “You deserve all the love I can give and more.”

 

Ennoshita did not answer, but he did snuggle closer to Ryuunosuke in his sleep. Ryuunosuke held him close and hummed his little song, wishing he could take all the troubles off Ennoshita’s shoulders. But with their third year right around the corner, the pressure would only be mounting. Ennoshita was destined to be their next captain, and while Ryuunosuke knew he would do a fantastic job of it, he also knew it would bear down on him like a weight tied to his shoulders. Ryuunosuke vowed silently to do his best by Ennoshita, to help assuage those fears and relieve that weight. He would be the best support he could be, and offer everything to Ennoshita that he could, his very soul if it was necessary.

 

He ran his fingers through Ennoshita’s hair and closed his eyes, sending his silent promises out into the aether.

 

-

 

Asahi was baking cookies when Daichi got home from his meeting with Coach Ukai and Suga. Daichi leaned against the door frame and watched him pull a batch out of the oven with a serene smile on his face.

 

“I love you,” Daichi said softly. Asahi turned that smile on him and he had to say it again. “I love you.”

 

“So I’ve heard,” Asahi said. Daichi stepped forward to wrap his arms around Asahi’s waist.

 

“Why’re you baking this late at night?” he asked. Asahi shrugged.

 

“Ennoshita seems a bit out of it lately, so I wanted to do something nice for him,” Asahi said. “I’m making enough for the entire team, but they’re mainly for him.”

 

“You’re sweet,” Daichi said. “But what makes you think Ennoshita’s been out of it? He’s got a shiny new boyfriend and everything.”

 

“Yeah, but something about him just seems off,” Asahi said. “Like he’s not satisfied. And we all know how his mom can be.”

 

“No, how can she be?” Daichi asked.

 

“About like your dad,” Asahi answered. “Maybe better, maybe worse, depending on your view of things. I don’t think she would kick Ennoshita out, but she would make sure his life was a living hell if she ever found out about Tanaka.”

 

“I didn’t know.” Asahi shrugged again, picking up a spatula to move the cookies to a cooling rack.

 

“Maybe he was intimidated to tell you,” Asahi said.

 

“Yeah, but I’m his captain,” Daichi protested. “He should feel comfortable telling me anything.”

 

“Maybe it’s specifically because you’re his captain,” Asahi told him. “You’re in a position of authority, and Ennoshita’s the type of person who wants authority figures to approve of him. Even if that means hiding bits of himself from them. And maybe he didn’t want to seem like he was rubbing salt in your wounds, you know?”

 

“Yeah, that makes sense, I guess,” Daichi said.

 

“You don’t have to sound so put out about it,” Asahi laughed.

 

“I just want him to be happy!” Daichi cried.

 

“I do too. That’s why I’m making him cookies, so he knows someone cares about him. Little things like that make all the difference, you know?” Asahi pulled the dough out of the fridge and started laying out more cookies. “Don’t think too hard about it, Daichi. Just let things happen on their own.”

 

“If I just let everything happen, I’d have one father and zero boyfriends,” Daichi said. “You lose things doing it my way, but you gain so much more.”

 

“True, but you can gain them my way too,” Asahi said. “You don’t have to fight for every scrap the universe offers you. Sometimes you can take your seat at the feast.”

 

“Nice metaphor,” Daichi snorted. Asahi hip checked him out of the way of the oven and put the next batch of cookies in.

 

“Whatever,” he said. “Want to help me make the frosting?”

  
Daichi smiled, looking up at one of the loves of his young life. Asahi was so pretty, with a smear of flour on his cheek and his hair falling out of its high bun. “I would love to,” Daichi said, and stepped forward to be directed where Asahi would have him.

 

-

 

Chikara lay on the grass outside the gym, staring up at the clouds moving past. The noontime sky was almost too bright to look at, clear save for a few fluffy wisps here and there forming ducks and sailing ships in the blue expanse. He was feeling good, for once. Better than good, really. He had a boyfriend who he loved, and who loved him dearly, friends who would do anything for him, a team he could count on. His grades were up, things were going well on the volleyball team, life in general was going well. Better than well. Better than better than well.

 

He pulled one of the cookies Asahi had given him out of its baggie and smiled. Then he frowned.

 

Tsukishima had not done anything particularly spectacular in morning practice that day, but he had caught Chikara’s eye nonetheless. He was so pretty, Chikara had realized, and that realization had stopped him in his tracks. He revisited it now, pulling it out of the box he had shoved it into and looking at it with clinical eyes.

 

Tsukishima was pretty, it was an objective fact. He had those golden curls and those yellow eyes, that pale skin and those high cheekbones. He was the opposite of compact, dark Tanaka, loud Tanaka, brash Tanaka. And somehow, that attracted Chikara just as much. He wanted to know what it was like to slip behind Tsukishima’s walls, to explore the hidden garden that existed in his arms.

 

Chikara shook his head. Tanaka had offered him Tsukishima on a silver platter. He hadn’t pushed, hadn’t encouraged Chikara beyond what Chikara was comfortable with. He was sweet that way, always thinking of Chikara and his comfort first. But, Chikara realized, maybe Chikara wanted to be pushed out of his comfort zone. Maybe he wanted to grasp at something too big for him. Maybe he wanted more than he deserved.

 

And maybe that was okay.

 

Chikara stood, dusting off his pants and stretching his arms. He looked around the grassy field outside the gym and smiled to himself. No matter how much he claimed to hate them, Tsukishima sure spent a lot of time with Hinata and Kageyama. They were there now, underneath a clump of trees with their textbooks, bickering. Chikara took a moment to watch them, to make sure this was something he wanted, truly wanted. Then he squared his shoulders and walked over to the trees.

 

“Tsukishima, can I talk to you for a moment?” he asked, in too stern a voice. His cheeks heated, realizing he was using the same voice on Tsukishima he used to corral Nishinoya and Tanaka away from their shenanigans.

 

“Um, sure?” Tsukishima said, standing. “You two keep working on those translations. I want them done by the time I get back.” Chikara smiled and walked away, letting Tsukishima follow as he would. “What’s up, Senpai?” Tsukishima asked when they were far enough away that the others wouldn’t hear them.

 

“I’ve been talking to Tanaka lately,” Chikara said.

 

“I should hope so, considering he’s your boyfriend,” Tsukishima said. Chikara glared at him until he cracked a smile, which was quickly covered up. Chikara smiled himself.

 

“I think you know what I’ve been talking to him about,” Chikara said.

 

“I really don’t,” Tsukishima replied. “Nor am I certain I want to know.”

 

“It’s nothing like that,” Chikara said, glaring again. Talking to Tsukishima was impossible, he decided. Then he did it anyway. “I’ve been talking to him about the possibility of being with you.”

 

“I would, but he never made his move like I told him to,” Tsukishima said. “I assumed he was content with you and that was the end of it.”

 

“Well, he was,” Chikara said. “Which is why I’m making his move for him.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean I’m asking you out, Tsukishima, on behalf of Ryuu, and on behalf of myself. We want to go out with you.” Chikara’s hands were shaking and his stomach was a riot of nervous energy. He hadn’t realized how hard this would be until he was here, actually doing it. But now here he was, feeling anxious and small and too big at the same time. His voice was too quiet, his voice was too loud, he was too much and too little. And still Tsukishima stared at him. “I’d really like a reply, one way or the other,” Chikara whispered. Tsukishima jolted.

 

“Sorry,” Tsukishima said. “I just didn’t think- I figured you weren’t the kind of person who wanted to share.”

 

“I thought so too,” Chikara said. But I guess we were both wrong about me. I’m willing to share and be shared, if it’s something you would want to.”

 

“You realize I’m going to have to talk to all the others about this right?” he said. “And we’re going to have to work out boundaries and the like.”

 

“That’s not an answer,” Chikara said. Tsukishima did that thing again where he smiled and then pretended he hadn’t.

 

“My answer is contingent on who has the guts to ask me themself,” he said. “I will go out with you, but if Tanaka-san wants to date me, he’s going to have to ask me himself. And I will only date you if everyone else is okay with it.”

 

“That’s fine by me,” Chikara said, and turned to walk away.

 

“Where are you going?” Tsukishima asked.

 

“To go find Ryuu and tell him to pull his head out of his ass,” Chikara called over his shoulder, and he walked away to the sound of Tsukishima’s laughter.


	11. Chapter 11

Tadashi lay in the grass with his head in Yachi’s lap and his feet in Kageyama’s. Yachi ran her fingers through Tadashi’s hair, humming to herself, a light little tune that Tadashi thought he had known the words to once upon a time. Hinata sat nearby with a scowl on his face. When Tsukishima came walking up with a package of Tadashi’s favorite bread in his hand, the scowl deepened.

 

“What?” Tadashi asked, accepting the bread and watching Tsukishima go to sit against the tree next to Hinata.

 

“What, what?” Tsukishima asked. Tadashi shook his head.

 

“Not you,” he said. “Shouyou. What are you scowling about?”

 

“I’m not scowling!” Hinata said, his scowl getting deeper.

 

“You totally are,” Tadashi laughed.

 

“He’s right, shrimp,” Tsukishima said, planting his thumb between Hinata’s eyebrows. He pressed harder until Hinata fell backwards, then laughed.

 

It was so nice, just spending time with them. Tadashi felt completely at home here with his friends.

 

“It’s just weird,” Hinata said, sitting up again.

 

“What’s weird?” Yachi asked.

 

“The four of you,” Hinata said. “You’re all, like, dating each other. It’s weird.”

 

“Kageyama-kun and I aren’t dating,” Yachi pointed out.

 

“Would you like to be?” Kageyama asked suddenly. Then he blushed and looked away. Tadashi nudged him in the thigh with his foot.

 

“Oh!” Yachi said, turning pink as well. “Um. Of course!”

 

“You don’t have to,” Kageyama muttered. Tadashi nudged him harder.

 

“I would love to,” Yachi said, a serene and understanding smile on his face. Hinata scowled harder.

 

“Shouyou, your face is gonna get stuck like that,” Tadashi warned.

 

“It’s weird!” Hinata cried.

 

“What makes it weird?” Tsukishima asked.

 

“I mean, I can understand wanting to date Yachi-san, or Tadashi,” Hinata said, “but who’d want to date you or Kageyama?”

 

“Lots of people, apparently,” Tsukishima said. “Why, do you want to?”

 

“No!” Hinata cried, and he sounded sincere. Tsukishima shrugged and stretched his arms above his head.

 

“Then what does it matter to you?” he asked.

 

“It’s just weird!” Hinata said again.

 

“It’s only as weird as you let it be,” Tadashi said. “Maybe someday you’ll fall in love with a person or two and you’ll understand.”

 

“Unlikely,” Hinata said, and that was that. The conversation moved on to other things, to the team and homework and Natsu’s latest obsession. Tadashi closed his eyes and let their conversation wash over him, drifting away on the sound of their voices. When the bell rang and they went back inside for afternoon classes, Tadashi was floating on a cloud of contentment.

 

-

 

Ryuunosuke was going out of his mind with anxiety. He didn’t know why; it wasn’t like he didn’t know Tsukishima was more than willing to go out with him. It wasn’t like he didn’t already know the answer to the question he had to ask. Ennoshita had been perfectly clear about that at least.

 

But still he was terrified. Tsukishima was an intimidating person at the best of times, but now? Now he was something so far beyond intimidating that it looped around to almost approachable again. Almost. But not quite.

 

Ryuunosuke had waited until Sunday to approach Tsukishima, not wanting to make a fool of himself in front of the team or anyone else at school. He had even let Saeko choose his clothes, grudgingly admitting to her that he expected this to turn into a first date with a new boy. Once he had cleared up that no, he wasn’t cheating on Ennoshita, she picked out a pair of ripped black skinny jeans that made him feel cool and a dark blue button-down that made him feel like a nerd. He stood outside Tsukishima’s door with a bouquet of flowers he had picked up from the convenience store near the station and a letter. Taking a deep breath, he raised his fist to knock.

 

The door opened before he could. A young man Ryuunosuke vaguely recognized from a few of their games stood in the doorway, blinking down at him.

 

“Ah,” he said.

 

“Oh,” said Ryuunosuke, “you must be Akiteru-san.”

 

“I am,” said Akiteru. His eyes narrowed. “Who’re you?”

 

“I’m, um, Tanaka Ryuunosuke,” Ryuunosuke answered. “I’m here to see Kei?” Akiteru leaned his head back and stared down his nose at Ryuunosuke.

 

“Why?” he asked.

 

“Um,” Ryuunosuke said. This was Tsukishima’s beloved older brother, the one Saeko had not shut up about after their last game, talking about how cute it was to see someone who loved their younger sibling as much as she did. If Ryuunosuke couldn’t get past him, he didn’t deserve to be with Tsukishima. “I was here to-” he started, but a thundering on the staircase drowned him out.

 

“Oh my god,” Tsukishima said, and Akiteru turned to look at him. “I knew this would happen. Why do you ruin everything, Nii-chan?”

 

“I don’t ruin everything!” Akiteru cried. “Kei, who is this boy and why does he have flowers?”

 

“He has flowers?” Tsukishima stopped in his tracks and looked at Ryuunosuke, something like a blush coating his cheeks.

 

“Kei, is there something you want to tell me?” Akiteru asked, his voice going smarmy. Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

 

“Yes. Leave,” he said.

 

“But Kei-” whined Akiteru, but Tsukishima was already shoving him out the door and pulling Ryuunosuke inside instead. He slammed the door behind them and let out a frustrated grunt.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. All of a sudden he seemed to grow very small and very shy. Ryuunosuke shifted from one foot to the other, then remembered the flowers.

 

“Ah, these are, um, these are for you,” he said, holding them out. “I, um, hope you like daisies.”

 

“I love daisies,” Tsukishima mumbled, that blush getting deeper. He took the flowers from Ryuunosuke and stared at them. “Th-thank you,” he said after a long and awkward moment. Ryuunosuke took a deep breath and pulled the letter out of his pocket.

 

“This is for you too,” he said. Tsukishima took the letter and started to open it. “Anyway,” Ryuunosuke said loudly, “that’s all I came by for, was to give you those, and-”

 

Before he could make his excuse and his hasty retreat, however, Tsukishima set the flowers and the letter on the table in the genkan and grabbed Ryuunosuke by the collar.

 

Ryuunosuke had experience kissing exactly one person, so he wasn’t prepared for how different it would be kissing Tsukishima. His lips parted of their own accord, letting out a surprised little noise as Tsukishima slipped his tongue into Ryuunosuke’s mouth. Ryuunosuke’s knees felt weak and his hands began to shake as Tsukishima kissed him deeper. It was not the way Ryuunosuke had expected him to kiss, shy and uncertain, like he didn’t know exactly what he was doing. Instead, it was confident and sure, like he had practice kissing, like he had seven other partners. He licked into Ryuunosuke’s mouth and turned him into a puddle of mush, and Ryuunosuke could not be more thankful for that. Tsukishima took a step forward, crowding Ryuunosuke against the door as he kissed him deeper.

 

“I didn’t think you would have the guts to do it,” Tsukishima whispered against Ryuunosuke’s lips. “Much less get dressed up and bring me flowers. Don’t ruin it by running away.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ryuunosuke said, and pulled Tsukishima down for another kiss. Tsukishima made a hungry noise and shoved a skinny thigh in between Ryuunosuke’s legs. All of Ryuunosuke’s fears and anxieties came crashing down on him at once and he bit down on Tsukishima’s lip, hard.

 

“Ow!” Tsukishima cried, leaning back. “What was that for?”

 

“Sorry!” Ryuunosuke shouted. “I’m sorry! I just panicked and- I’m sorry!” Tsukishima blinked at him, then leaned down and pecked a kiss to his nose.

 

“You’re thinking too hard about this,” he said. He ran his hands across Ryuunosuke’s shoulders, down his arms to wrap around his wrists. He lifted Ryuunosuke’s hands to his face and pressed a kiss to each knuckle. Ryuunosuke took a shuddering breath. “It’s okay,” Tsukishima said. “We’ll go as fast or as slow as you need. Even if we never get any farther than this, it’s okay.”

 

Ryuunosuke was struck by the sudden realization that his underclassman, his kouhai, this skinny little first year, had more experience and with more people than Ryuunosuke did himself. He groaned and dropped his forehead onto Tsukishima’s chest. “I’m making an idiot of myself,” he whined.

 

“You do that pretty regularly,” Tsukishima said. “But not right now. Right now you’re perfectly fine.” He kissed the top of Ryuunosuke’s head and ran his thumbs across Ryuunosuke’s knuckles. Ryuunosuke took a deep breath and looked up at him. “Tadashi’s upstairs,” Tsukishima said, like an offering. “I’m actually surprised he hasn’t come spying by now. You’re welcome to come up, or we can go somewhere else. It’s your choice.”

 

“I really didn’t have a plan beyond giving you that letter,” Ryuunosuke said. “My plans have a tendency to go to shit pretty quickly.”

 

“Then let’s throw the plans out the window and just pick on a whim,” Tsukishima said. Ryuunosuke thought about it, then grinned.

 

“Bet Yamaguchi and I can kick your ass at that new video game he was talking about at practice yesterday,” he said.

 

“I bet you can’t,” Tsukishima replied, and turned to lead Ryuunosuke up the stairs. Ryuunosuke let himself be led, thinking that if this was what his entire life had been leading up to, he would be more than content.

 

-

 

Daichi walked down the street hand-in-hand with Asahi thinking that everything in the world was exactly as it should be. Practice had let out a little early, due to Coach Ukai having to close at the store that night. The air was cool and clear, the darkness lit in wide circles by street lamps as they walked along.

 

“Hey, why don’t we stop somewhere for dinner?” Asahi asked. “My treat.”

 

“You don’t have to-” Daichi started, but a look from Asahi silenced him. He flushed. “Okay,” he said.

 

“I know a nice place not too far from here,” Asahi said, tightening his grip on Daichi’s hand. Daichi grinned and followed Asahi through the darkened streets.

 

He stopped short when he saw where Asahi was leading him. His breath caught in his throat and tears stung at his eyes. He took his hand from Asahi’s and wrapped both arms around his chest, suddenly cold though the night was barely cool enough for a jacket.

 

“This is Yuna’s favorite restaurant,” he whispered, staring up at the sign above the door. He could feel Asahi watching him, waiting to see what he would do, waiting to see if he would freak out. But Daichi wouldn’t freak out. This was fine. He could handle this. Then a thought occurred to him. “What day is it?” he asked. When Asahi told him, he swore.

 

“What is it?” Asahi asked. Daichi couldn’t breathe enough to answer him. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten. How could a few measly weeks away be enough to make him forget one of the mot important days of the year?

 

Suddenly where they were and what day it was caught up with Daichi and he grabbed Asahi’s arm. “We need to go,” he said quickly and turned to drag Asahi down the street, but it was too late. A cry of his name had him turning back just in time for Yuna and Hiroto to throw themselves into his arms. Daichi caught them, partially because he couldn’t see what else to do and partially because he so desperately ached to. Then he looked up and saw them.

 

When Yuna was a baby, Daichi’s mother had been hit by horrible postpartum depression and walked out on the four of them. Daichi had been old enough to understand the betrayal, the hurt, the desperation of a father left with two young boys and a baby girl. He had been old enough to hold a grudge when she had come back three years later and ingratiated herself into their lives as though nothing had happened at all. He had never understood why his father had forgiven her so easily, but looking at her now, he thought he did.

 

Daichi was an aberration in Sawamura Takashi’s perfect life. He was the bisexual son, the shame of the family. Welcoming his wife back had served to quell the questions and the sideways glances. It had been a purely political move, much like kicking Daichi out had been.

 

Sawamura Kumiko was small and mousy, like she always had been. She stood with her shoulders slightly hunched and her face carefully serene, half a step behind her husband. She had Daichi’s brown eyes, but little else was shared between mother and son. Daichi looked more like Takashi than anyone else in the world.

 

Takashi, who was turning slowly red in the face, his brows set in an angry line and his jaw clenched.

 

“Yuna. Hiroto. Come away from him,” he said, voice calm and tightly controlled. It wouldn’t stay that way for long if Daichi didn’t get out of there soon. He released his little siblings and took a step back, only to collide with the broad chest of his boyfriend.

 

“Asahi,” Daichi said, closing his eyes. “Asahi, let’s go.”

 

Asahi’s wide hands clamped down on Daichi’s shoulders and maneuvered him to one side. Asahi stepped forward, and Daichi barely opened his eyes in time to catch sight of the rage on his face, absolute and terrible.

 

“Sawamura-san,” he growled. “Let him say hello to his siblings.”

 

“This doesn’t concern you, Azumane-kun,” Takashi grit out.

 

“This absolutely concerns me,” Asahi said. “Since I’m the one who took him in after you threw him out on the streets. Since I’m one of the reasons you won’t let him come back home.”

 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Takashi asked.

 

“Asahi, don’t,” Daichi said, but it was in vain.

 

“I’m dating your son,” Asahi said, loud and like he was gloating, though it was nothing to gloat about. Not with these people.

 

“Are you now?” Takashi sneered. “What happened to the skinny little blond? Are you his sloppy seconds?”

 

“Do not,” Daichi growled, “ever, call him sloppy seconds. Tsukishima is not my primary partner, and Asahi is no less than him. None of my boyfriends have anything less than my entire heart.”

 

That made Takashi take a step back. Daichi glanced at his mother, only to see her close her eyes and shake her head. Her disappointment cut him like a knife, but he didn’t know why he should have expected anything else from her.

 

“You mean to tell me, not only are you a disgusting degenerate, you’re the kind who takes it up the ass for any passing man, are you? Did we fail that badly with you?”

 

“You only failed in the end,” Daichi said. He grabbed Asahi by the hand and turned away, dragging him with him a he hurried down the street so that his father wouldn’t see the tears as they fell.

 

-

 

They were too far from Asahi’s house to make it before Daichi broke down completely. Asahi knew he had spare minutes left before it was too much, before Daichi became a sobbing mess on the side of the road. Which meant there was only one place they could make it in time.

 

Tsukishima’s mother opened the door with a smile that quickly slipped into concern and fear.

 

“Asahi-kun, Daichi-kun, what’s wrong?” she asked, even as she ushered them in.

 

“We, ah, had a run in with Daichi’s family,” Asahi said, and her eyes flashed with understanding and anger. “Is Kei home?” Asahi asked before she could start making things uncomfortable in her kindness and loyalty.

 

“He and Tadashi-kun are upstairs,” she said. “Can I bring you up anything?”

 

Daichi sniffled and Asahi shook his head quickly. “I think we’re going to be all right,” he said. “Thank you.” He pulled Daichi out of the genkan and up the stairs.

 

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were making out, red-faced and giddy when Asahi opened the door without knocking. The anger on Tsukishima’s face melted quickly to concern.

 

“What’s wrong?” Yamaguchi asked, climbing off of Tsukishima and crossing the room to throw his arms around Daichi and drawing him into the room. Daichi looked dumbly at Yamaguchi, then at Tsukishima. His face crumpled up with memory and horrid grief and he collapsed. The wail he let out was enough to shake the room as Yamaguchi struggled to hold him up. Asahi wrapped his arm around Daichi from the other side and together they got him over to the bed.

 

“Daichi,” Tsukishima whispered, crawling forward to wrap himself around Daichi from behind. Daichi fell backwards and curled onto his side with his head on Tsukishima’s shoulder and his hand curled into a fist around Tsukishima’s shirt. “Daichi, my love, what happened?”

 

“We ran into his family,” Asahi said for him. “It… wasn’t pretty.”

 

“It’s Yuna’s birthday,” Daichi wailed, clinging closer to Tsukishima. Asahi’s heart broke in his chest. So that was how Daichi had seemed to know it would happen. “It’s her birthday and I didn’t get to say happy birthday or even hello or-” He broke down into wordless sobbing. Yamaguchi made a small, broken noise and crawled onto the bed to curl up behind Daichi, his arms tangled with Tsukishima’s around Daichi’s waist.

 

All at once Asahi felt like the most useless lump in the world. It was his fault. He had picked a fight with Daichi’s father. He had caused this. There was no one to blame for Daichi’s current state but himself.

 

No, that wasn’t true. There was Daichi’s father to blame. He was the one who had kicked Daichi out in the first place, the one who had fought back, the one who had said such horrible things about Daichi outside the restaurant.

 

While Daichi was sobbing, his phone dinged. Asahi wasn’t sure what made Daichi scramble for it so desperately, but he did, and whatever he saw there just made him wail louder. Yamaguchi took the phone from him.

 

“It’s from his mother,” he said, voice confused and angry and sad all at once. Asahi held his hand out for the phone.

 

MOM: [You shouldn’t fight with your father like that. Not in public.]

 

Asahi scrolled up to the previous message and frowned. He pulled up Daichi’s conversation with his father and the frown deepened. Even Hiroto’s conversation was the same. This was the first message he had received from his family since the day his father had kicked him out.

 

“I knew she was disappointed in me,” Daichi cried. “She hates me, just like he does.”

 

Asahi was about to reach out to comfort him, to throw the phone out the window, to do something, when there came a knock at the door, quiet and unsure. He glanced at the others, then pulled himself together and went to answer it.

 

“Asahi-kun, what’s going on?” Tsukishima’s mother asked gently, like she would let him give her a nothing answer if he wanted to, though he knew she deserved the truth. They had invaded her house after all. He glanced down at Daichi’s phone and wondered at the difference a good mother could make from a bad one. He wondered which type Tsukishima’s was.

 

“You know Daichi was kicked out of his house, right?” he asked softly, deciding to take a chance on her. He was right. A flash of anger crossed her face before being quickly swallowed by the same stoic expression Tsukishima often wore. Asahi took a deep breath and explained the entire situation to her. She listened silently, nothing in her face giving away what she was thinking. When he was done, she looked over his shoulder at Daichi, who was still crying, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, who looked at her with fear on their faces. Asahi realized with a start that they had never told her how many of them were together, and that things could go very, very wrong at this point. Then she squared her shoulders and looked Asahi in the eye.

 

“You three will take care of him, right?” she asked, power dripping from her lips and her voice offering no room for argument.

 

“Of course we will,” Asahi said.

 

“Good. I’m trusting you here.” He got the feeling she was saying more than the words themselves. He nodded. “I’m going to make some tea. How do you and Daichi-kun take yours?”

 

“I take a little sugar, he takes more cream and sugar than tea,” Asahi replied, a little stunned. She nodded and turned and left.

 

“Did I just come out to my mother?” Tsukishima asked. Yamaguchi snorted.

 

“I think you did,” Asahi said, closing the door gently. There was a moment of silence, then the most amazing thing happened.

 

Daichi started laughing.

 

-

 

They tried to keep it quiet, so of course by the end of morning practice the next day, the entire team knew what had gone down between Daichi and his family. Chikara wasn’t sure what to do, but he knew he had to do something. He couldn’t just sit there and let something like that go unresponded-to.

 

He walked up to Daichi with determination on his face that he didn’t really feel. When Daichi looked up at him, something haunted underneath his smile, Chikara’s heart broke and remolded itself into a new shape. He sat down next to Daichi and sighed.

 

“I know we’re not really together yet, but I want you to know you can come to me if you need to,” he said. “You can lean on me. You know, count on me, or something.”

 

“Not together yet?” Daichi asked softly, and whether intentional or not, his shoulder bumped against Chikara’s and Chikara’s face heated up.

 

“I’m a coward, but I’m not a blind one,” Chikara said. “I knew what I was getting into when I asked Tsukishima out.”

 

Daichi opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, Coach Ukai shouted his name. Daichi smiled apologetically at Chikara and stood to go. Chikara took a shaky breath and looked out at the team. They really were his family, and he would do anything for any one of them. He loved Tanaka, and he liked Tsukishima, and he liked most of the others too, probably all of them, but what he had told Daichi was true. He was a coward. He couldn’t face down his mother and he couldn’t face down himself. He wasn’t worthy of them, but he was going to be with them anyway. Because it was what would make Tanaka happy, and Chikara knew he would do anything for that.

 

“With all due respect, how is this any of your business?”

 

Chikara was pulled out of his thoughts by Yamaguchi shouting not too far away from him. He turned to see Yamaguchi facing Coach Ukai with a look of pure rage on his face. Chikara looked around to see Suga drawing a sobbing Daichi out of the gym, matching fury written across his own expression. The rest of the team stood scattered around the gym, shocked and confused. Chikara stood and trotted over to Yamaguchi.

 

“What’s going on here?” he asked, putting a hand on Yamaguchi’s shoulder. Yamaguchi was tense under his touch, all but trembling with anger.

 

“He made Daichi cry,” Yamaguchi snarled. “I heard the whole thing. He kept asking if dating all of us was what was best for Daichi. Kept implying that he would still be with his family if he just dumped all of us.”

 

“That’s not what I was implying,” Coach Ukai said, his voice tightly controlled.

 

“It sure as hell sounded like that. So again, how is that any of your business?” Yamaguchi shouted.

 

“Yamaguchi-kun, maybe you should calm down-” Chikara started, but Yamaguchi threw Chikara’s arm off and started storming toward Coach Ukai. Chikara acted on instinct, throwing his arms around Yamaguchi’s waist and hauling him back, even as Takeda-sensei stepped between them.

 

“I think there has been a misunderstanding,” he said. “Ukai-kun meant no disrespect, though it probably wasn’t his place to meddle. He merely meant to ask if there was anything he or I could do to help, though I can see now you don’t need any of our help. Practice is dismissed. Clean up and get to class.”

 

“But-” Yamaguchi started, but Takeda-sensei glared at him until he balled his fist and turned to storm away.

 

“Ennoshita-kun, I’m trusting you to make sure everyone gets where they’re supposed to be,” Takeda-sensei said, in a voice that brokered no arguments. Chikara opened his mouth to argue anyway, then caught sight of Suga slipping back into the gym. He closed his mouth and nodded, already planning to go find Daichi as soon as the adults were gone. Takeda-sensei grabbed Coach Ukai by the arm and dragged him out of the gym and toward the faculty offices. Chikara watched them go, then whirled around to face Suga.

 

Suga was talking to Yamaguchi, hands on both of his shoulders and voice tight, but calm. Yamaguchi was trembling, hands still fisted and tears of frustration running down his cheek. Chikara walked up to them and Suga didn’t even bother looking up. He just pointed to the door and said, “He’s by the front gate. If you hurry you can convince him to go to class today.”

 

“Takeda-sensei put me in charge of-”

 

“Fuck Takeda-sensei,” Suga snapped, eyes darting to Chikara at last. Chikara could see the black vitriol swirling in their depths and he nodded. “Go get Daichi,” Suga ordered.

 

Chikara nodded again and jogged out of the gym. He made a quick stop by the club room to grab his jacket and his and Daichi’s bags and took off toward the school gate.

 

Daichi was already gone when he got there, but that didn’t surprise Chikara. He took off down the road toward the foothill store, catching sight of Daichi just as he rounded the store front. He slowed to a jog, fast enough to catch up with Daichi but slow enough to catch his breath. He put his hands in his jacket pockets and fell into step beside Daichi.

 

“I’m not going back there,” Daichi said without looking up.

 

“I never said we should,” Chikara replied. “You’ve had a rough couple of days, you deserve a break.”

 

“You’re not going to guilt me into going to class?” Daichi asked.

 

“Nah,” Chikara said. “I figure if you wanted to go back, you would. And if you don’t, there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. You know what the consequences are, and can choose to accept them if you want.”

 

“Huh,” Daichi said, glancing at Chikara and then back at the road. “So why are you here, then?” he asked.

 

“Because I know the consequences of going and the consequences of staying, and I choose the lesser of two evils,” Chikara said. “I’d much rather know you are okay than not miss class, you know? One day won’t kill me.”

 

“Okay,” Daichi whispered.

 

“So. Do you want to go to Asahi-san’s house, or mine?” Chikara asked.

 

“Can we go to yours?” Daichi asked, his voice small. “I was going to avoid Asahi’s. His mom is home today and I didn’t want to have to explain all this to her.”

 

“Sure,” Chikara said. “It’s this way.”

 

They were silent as they walked to the station and rode the train toward Chikara’s house. When they got to the correct stop, Chikara stood and Daichi followed without a word. The first time either of them spoke was to call out quiet greetings to Chikara’s empty apartment. Chikara stood awkwardly in the genkan, watching Daichi’s face without looking at him. When Daichi’s expression began to crumble he sprang into motion.

 

“Come on,” he said gently, and took Daichi’s hand. He pulled him down the hall and into his bedroom, shutting the door behind them. He sat Daichi down on the edge of the bed and climbed on behind him. He wrapped his arms around Daichi’s waist and pressed himself against Daichi’s back. Daichi leaned back into him, and then kept leaning back until they were lying sideways on the bed with Daichi half on Chikara’s stomach and half between his legs, both of them staring up at the ceiling. Daichi began to shake, though Chikara couldn’t hear him crying. He squeezed his arms around Daichi and sighed. “What he said wasn’t fair,” he whispered.

 

“Did you hear any of it?” Daichi asked, and sure enough, his voice was wet with tears.

 

“I heard Yamaguchi’s summary,” Chikara said. “I heard enough. It isn’t fair of him to even imply anything’s wrong with having more than one boyfriend, especially not to you.”

 

“He’s right,” Daichi whispered. “If I didn’t have any boyfriends, I would be back at my parents’ house, and none of this would have happened.”

 

“Daichi-san-”

 

“No, it’s a good thing.” Daichi sat up and stared at Chikara’s desk. “I would still be living in the closet, afraid to talk to my parents about any of the things I was feeling. I wouldn’t have Kei, or Asahi, or Tadashi, or any of the others. I wouldn’t have a hope of a shot with you.” He turned around then, and there was a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

 

“Why would you want a shot with me?” Chikara asked, biting his lip to keep from smiling.

 

“Because,” Daichi said, turning around and crawling over Chikara, “you’re _you._ ”

 

“I’m afraid I’m going to need a better answer than that,” Chikara said. Daichi reached his level, nudging his nose against Chikara’s and just breathing the same air as him. Then he paused.

 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked.

 

“What?”

 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Daichi asked again. The mischief faded from his eyes and he dropped himself onto Chikara fully, wrapping his arms around his back. “The way I see it, there’s only two options for you. Tell your mother or let her find out in the end. Either way, it won’t end well for you.”

 

“I know the consequences,” Chikara said, wrapping his own arms around Daichi’s waist and holding him tight. “I know what will happen if I continue to lie, and if I tell her up front. But I also know what will happen if I don’t go for this.” He took a deep breath. “If you can be strong, then so can I.”

 

“I’m only strong because I have to be,” Daichi said. “You have a choice here.”

 

“I do,” Chikara replied. “And I’m making it.” Daichi leaned up on his elbows and looked down at him. There was something unreadable in those warm brown eyes and he bit his lip.

 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly. Chikara sighed.

 

“God, I want you to,” he said. “But I haven’t talked to Ryuu about this. He’s still scared to be dating Tsukishima, thinks it’ll run me off or something. I don’t want to kiss you and have it ruin everything. I want to kiss you and have it mean everything’s okay.”

 

“Everything may never be completely okay,” Daichi said. “Things will always be dangerous for us. There will always be a chance that your mom will find out, or that someone on the street will. There’s a chance that we’ll be discriminated against for housing, or jobs, or school. There’s a chance that people will hate us because they don’t understand us. Are you really willing to take that chance?”

 

“I’m already taking it,” Chikara pointed out. “And for you, I’m willing to take more. To take it every single day. That’s what it means to love someone, Daichi-san. It means you choose them, no matter what. Even when it’s hard, or scary.”

 

“Okay,” Daichi said, and leaned in to kiss Chikara on the cheek. He sat up and climbed off of Chikara, and Chikara felt the loss like a hole in his stomach. He shook his head and sat up as well.

 

“Want to watch a movie?” he asked.

 

“You have the worst taste in movies,” Daichi whined. Chikara rolled his eyes and grabbed his laptop off the bedside table.

 

“I’m taking that as a yes,” he said.

 

“Okay.” Daichi smiled and Chikara smiled back and they both scooted back to sit against the headboard. As he and Daichi settled in to watch a cinematic masterpiece of his own choosing, Chikara thought about the future. He let it scare him. He let it terrify him. He let it fill his limbs with ice water and caffeine. And then he chose it anyway.


	12. Chapter 12

Rain pounded against the window, each droplet ramping up Kei’s anxiety. He stood by the window, staring out into the grey nothingness, worrying.

 

“Kei, it’s going to be fine,” Yamaguchi said. “I’m sure he got your text and stayed home. He just forgot to text you back.”

 

“I called him three times,” Kei said, still staring out the window.

 

“He’s a dumbass, but he’s not stupid enough to ride his bike through this,” Kageyama said from his place against Kei’s bed. Kei still stared out the window, biting his lip. Then a small, cool hand slipped into his. He looked down at Yachi, who smiled nervously up at him.

 

“Hinata-kun will be all right,” she said. “There is no sense in worrying about things you can’t change. Why don’t we turn our focus onto that history test you have coming up?”

 

“Okay,” Kei murmured, letting her draw him away from the window. He was just sitting down across from Kageyama when there came a knock on the front door. Kei shot to his feet and vaulted over the table and across to the door to his bedroom. He took the stairs two at a time, ignoring Yamaguchi shouting after him, and wrenched the front door open.

 

There was Hinata, soaked through, his normally wild orange hair dark and plastered to his forehead, his clothes dripping, his body shaking.

 

“What the fuck,” Kei snapped even as he grabbed Hinata and pulled him inside. “I texted you and told you not to come! Why are you here?”

 

“I left my phone at home,” said Hinata in a shaky voice.

 

“Why didn’t you turn back when it started raining?” Kei demanded, even as he tugged Hinata out of his dripping jacket.

 

“Was too far away from home,” Hinata said.

 

“Whatever,” Kei muttered, balling up Hinata’s jacket. “The shower’s upstairs. Go get warmed up.” The door to Kei’s bedroom opened and there was Kageyama, staring down at the sopping Hinata. He turned red.

 

“You dumbass!” he shouted, storming down the stairs.

 

“Not now, Tobio,” Kei snapped, grabbing Hinata by the shoulders and steering him up the stairs. “Let him get warmed up before you start in on him.” He pushed Hinata into the bathroom and turned toward the linen closet. Yamaguchi was already standing there, the fluffiest towel Kei owned in his hands. Kei snatched it and threw it into the bathroom after Hinata. Then he slammed the door shut and stormed into his bedroom.

 

“Is everything okay, Tsukishima-kun?” Yachi asked. Kei paused and smiled at her, and she beamed back at him.

 

“Yeah,” he said. “Everything’s fine. He’ll be fine, he just needs to warm up.” Kei wasn’t sure whether he was reassuring her or himself. He sat down on his bed and reached out for her. She came to stand between his legs and settled her hands on his shoulders, blushing but not looking away.

 

They had kissed before, once or twice, but briefly, and never more than a nervous press of lips together. When Yachi bent down now to kiss him, there was still all of the nervousness, but none of the reluctance of before. She even darted her tongue out to swipe along the seam of his lips before pulling away with one last peck to the tip of his nose. He pushed his glasses up and smiled at her.

 

“Hey, I wanna kiss Hitoka-chan!” Yamaguchi whined from the doorway. Kei looked up to find him smirking at them, but there was a happy blush spread across his cheeks that told Kei he was more into watching the two of them than he wanted to let on. Kageyama stood behind him, looking bored. Yachi flounced over and leaned up on her toes as high as she could go, then pressed a fleeting kiss to Yamaguchi’s chin. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek, giggling quietly. Kageyama rolled his eyes and slipped past the two of them to come sit by Kei. He took Kei’s hand and leaned his head against his shoulder.

 

“What’s up with you?” Kei asked, though he twined their fingers together.

 

“Same as you,” Kageyama grunted. “I’m worried about the dumbass.”

 

“He’ll be fine,” Yamaguchi said, coming to sit on Kageyama’s other side. “Like Tsukki said, he just needs to warm up.”

 

“It was stupid of him to come,” Kageyama said, frustration lining his voice. Kei squeezed his hand just as the sound of the shower turned off. Kei realized Hinata didn’t have any dry clothes to put on and stood to cross to his dresser. He bit his lip. Anything he had would be far too big for Hinata, but there were no other options. He pulled out a pair of shorts and a soft t shirt and moved to the bathroom door to knock.

 

“I have clothes for you,” he called softly. The door creaked open and there was Hinata, dripping wet and clad only in a towel. Kei shoved the clothes in his direction and turned on his heel before he could do something stupid. He stormed into his bedroom and sat down rather hard on the bed. Yamaguchi made a soft, sympathetic noise in his throat and patted Kei on the shoulder, though Kei had no idea why he would need to do that. It’s not like Kei needed his sympathy just then. There was nothing strange going on, nothing at all.

 

Then Hinata emerged from the bathroom, absolutely swimming in Kei’s shirt and shorts, and his heart clenched. Hinata’s nose scrunched adorably and he wrapped his arms around his middle. “I’m still cold,” he whined, and Kei was moving before he could even think about it. He wrapped his arms around Hinata and drew him into the room, sitting down on the bed and scooting back with him still in his arms. When his back hit the wall, he grabbed the quilt bunched up at the foot of the bed and pulled it around himself and Hinata.

 

Hinata made a soft, confused noise, but let Kei hold him. Kei ran his fingers through Hinata’s damp hair and closed his eyes, feeling the bed dip under the weight of the others coming to join them. Yachi cuddled up to Kei’s right side and Kageyama sat on his left, while Yamaguchi fiddled with Kei’s laptop. He pulled up a movie and set the laptop on the mattress, then moved to sit on Yachi’s other side. Hinata wriggled around until he was sitting in Kei’s lap with his back pressed to Kei’s chest, just his head peeking out of the blanket.

 

As the movie played, Kageyama reached over and drew Hinata’s hand from the depths of the blanket. Kei watched out of the corner of his eye as he raised Hinata’s fingers to his lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. Hinata’s head lolled to one side as he turned to watch Kageyama, his eyes going droopy. Kei ducked his head to drop a kiss into Hinata’s hair as Hinata’s breathing grew deep and even. Kei straightened and turned to see Yamaguchi, smiling at him.

 

“Shut up,” he muttered, hiding his smile in the orange curls.

 

-

 

Shouyou woke with a hazy head and an arm draped over his waist. In his delirium he snuggled up to the closest source of warmth available to him, not caring who it was. Then Tsukishima murmured something in his sleep and pulled Shouyou even closer. Shouyou’s eyes popped open.

 

In the thin light of dawn, Tsukishima’s face was slack and open. Shouyou watched him for a moment, his chest feeling tight and warm from the cold he had clearly developed.

 

Right, the cold. Tsukishima would not be happy if Shouyou got him sick. There was nothing to be done about apparently having spent the night tucked up against him, but he could keep it from getting any worse by wriggling out of Tsukishima’s hold and getting out of the bed. So he did.

 

Yamaguchi and Yachi were curled up together on the guest futon and Kageyama was on the bed with his back pressed to Tsukishima’s. Shouyou couldn’t remember much beyond getting to Tsukishima’s house in the rain and being pushed into the shower. He looked down at himself, at the t shirt that was dipping off of his shoulder. It was clearly Tsukishima’s, though why Tsukishima would care enough to give him clothes to wear was beyond him. As was why Tsukishima would consent to touch him enough to fall asleep wrapped around him. He groaned and pressed his palms to his face, trying to force his brain to start working. There was something there, he just couldn’t think of it.

 

Kageyama stirred and Shouyou gave up thinking to slump onto the floor.

 

“Hinata?” Kageyama mumbled, sitting up and scrubbing at his face. “What’re you doing?”

 

Shouyou opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Kageyama moved toward him and crouched to wrap his arms around Shouyou’s waist. Shouyou took a moment to enjoy the warmth and the solid feel of him before his brain caught up to what was happening and he squirmed away.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked, voice a little too shrill. Yachi scrunched her nose and made a soft noise, but neither of the others stirred. Kageyama just blinked at him, and then pressed a hand to his forehead.

 

“You have a fever,” he said softly. “Get back in the bed.”

 

Shouyou tried to articulate to Kageyama that he didn’t want to get Tsukishima sick, that he didn’t want to face Tsukishima’s wrath, but Kageyama just pressed a kiss to his forehead and shoved him toward the bed. Shouyou went without much fuss, too tired and foggy to put up a fight. Tsukishima frowned when Shouyou crawled back into the bed, trying to stay as far away from him as possible. It didn’t work. As soon as he was settled in, Tsukishima’s eyes peeled open and he squinted at Shouyou, reaching out to drag him closer. Shouyou went stiffly, squeaking in terror as Kageyama slipped into the bed behind him. Eventually, however, the warmth of the two of them and the softness of the bed and the blankets and the haziness in his head lulled him back to sleep.

 

-

 

Daichi was going to kill Tsukishima. And Kageyama and Hinata for that matter. In fact, he may as well kill Yamaguchi, too, because he was sure he had something to do with it. Not Yachi, though. She was blameless as always.

 

“Tell me again why three of my star players are out sick at the same time?” Daichi growled. Tsukishima just groaned into his pillow.

 

“Be nice to them, Daichi,” Narita said from his place sitting on the bed near Tsukishima’s head. He stroked his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair and hummed to himself.

 

“Why should I be?” Daichi muttered. Narita glared at him.

 

“Because I told you to,” he said, and Daichi found himself genuinely afraid of his boyfriend in that moment. Then Narita smiled serenely and the moment passed. “Now,” he said, “go heat up that soup and I’ll see about finding some more blankets.”

 

Daichi nodded and stepped carefully over the futon where Hinata was sprawled in every direction. He passed Kageyama in the hall and paused to feel his forehead and press a kiss to his cheek before sending him back into the room.

 

Tsukishima’s mother was still downstairs, talking to Yamaguchi when Daichi arrived in the kitchen. She smiled at him and he smiled back nervously. Her smile faltered.

 

“Daichi-kun,” she sighed, “one of these days you’re going to trust that not all adults are horrible. I promise you, you’re safe in my house.”

 

“I know that, I just-” Daichi shook his head. “Thank you, Tsukishima-san.” She watched him for a moment longer, then shook her head and stepped out of the kitchen without a word. “I get the feeling she doesn’t like me,” Daichi said softly, watching her gather her things and leave the house.

 

“She likes you plenty,” Yamaguchi said. “She’s like Tsukki, though. She doesn’t like big signs of affection all that much. Not at first, anyway.”

 

Daichi grunted, not quiet believing Yamaguchi, and pulled the thermos of soup out of his bag. Asahi’s mother had made it when she’d heard that the three morons were sick, and he had carried it around all day. Yamaguchi pulled out a pot and stepped away from the stove. Daichi dumped the soup into the pot and turned on the fire. He sighed.

 

“Hey,” Yamaguchi said, sidling up behind him and putting his arms around Daichi’s shoulders. “Why so tense?”

 

“Kei’s mother makes me uncomfortable,” Daichi said. “Asahi’s does too, but I’m stuck with her. With Kei’s, it’s like…”

 

“Like you’re just waiting to screw up in front of her?” Yamaguchi prompted. Daichi nodded. “Wait ‘till you meet Akiteru-san.”

 

“Oh god,” Daichi groaned, dropping his head as Yamaguchi laughed.

 

“Don’t worry so much about it, babe,” he said. “Tsukki’s family is much more casual than he leads you to believe. And you saw how Auntie reacted when you were here last week.”

 

Daichi stiffened. He didn’t like thinking of that night. Yamaguchi sighed and rubbed at his shoulders.

 

“I’m okay,” Daichi said softly. “It’s just… a lot.”

 

“I know it is, love,” Yamaguchi said. “But you’ll get through this. We all will. Now, did Kei fill you in on what happened with Hinata?”

 

“He told me he got them all sick,” Daichi replied. Yamaguchi giggled.

 

“So the reason he got both of them sick is because they spent the night cuddling together,” Yamaguchi said.

 

“Oh. _Oh._ Do we have a new boyfriend?” Daichi asked.

 

“Nope!” Yamaguchi bit his lip to hide a grin and shook his head wildly. “He didn’t pick up on it. Or on Kageyama kissing him, twice.”

 

“Kageyama kissed him?” Daichi asked.

 

“Like, on the hand and the top of his head. Tsukki did too, I think.”

 

“Wow.” Daichi turned back to the stove.

 

“What is it?” Yamaguchi asked, prodding him gently in the side.

 

“Nothing,” Daichi said.

 

“Tell me.”

 

“I wanted to kiss Hinata,” Daichi admitted, a pout growing on his face. Yamaguchi made a soft noise in the back of his throat and wrapped his arms around Daichi from behind, bending to nuzzle at the back of his neck.

 

“How did you become even more adorable?” he whined.

 

“Just one of my many talents,” Daichi said. “I need to talk to all of you, about new boyfriends and all that. But later, when the idiots aren’t sick anymore.” Yamaguchi nodded. The soup began to bubble so he turned off the fire on the stove. “Grab me a bowl?” he asked, and Yamaguchi peeled away from his back. Daichi pouted a little at the loss of his warmth, but he was back quickly with set of bowls for Daichi to ladle the soup into. He helped Daichi carry them up the stairs without a word.

 

Tsukishima sat up when they came in, a weak smile on his hazy face. Daichi sat down beside him and handed him one of the bowls of soup, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

 

“Noooo, I don’t want to get you sick,” Tsukishima whined, batting weakly at Daichi. Daichi smiled and reached up to ruffle his hair, then stood and set the other bowl of soup on the nightstand. He leaned over the bed and shook Kageyama’s shoulder gently.

 

“Tobio,” he whispered. “Wake up. I brought you soup.”

 

It must have been the promise of food, because Kageyama’s eyes snapped open as soon as Daichi said the word ‘soup’. Daichi laughed and helped Kageyama sit up and handed him the third bowl while Yamaguchi woke Hinata and did the same. Daichi sat between Narita and Tsukishima, watching Yamaguchi encourage Hinata to eat with soft words and gentle touches. His heart clenched with the knowledge that this perfect little ray of sunshine wasn’t his yet, didn’t have a home in their little group. He looked at Narita and found him looking at Daichi, the same thought written across his face. He sighed and leaned into Narita’s side.

 

They couldn’t do anything just yet, but Daichi just knew that as soon as Hinata was feeling well again the hunt would begin anew. He settled in for the long haul.

 

-

 

Kei was going out of his mind. He thought Kageyama had been oblivious. He was wrong. Hinata Shouyou, ball of sunshine and athleticism and idiocy, was more oblivious than Kageyama had ever hoped of being.

 

The day after Hinata left Kei’s house for his own, the day he was well enough to come back to school, he treated Kei warily. Kei had hoped that it was because he was unsure how to start a relationship and nothing more than that. But when Kei approached him after practice, he squeaked and covered his head with his arms like he was expecting a blow.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” Kei asked.

 

“I’m sorry!” Hinata cried. “I didn’t mean to get you sick, I’m sorry!”

 

Kei stopped and blinked at him. “Is that what’s got you so nervous?” he asked.

 

“…Yes?” Hinata cocked his head at Kei, slowly lowering his arms. “Should I be nervous about something else?”

 

Rage rose in Kei, in equal parts with befuddlement. He stared at Hinata for a long moment, long enough to make him squeak and cower again. Then he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

 

“I just don’t see why he doesn’t get it,” Kei whined when he and Kageyama and Yamaguchi reached Yamaguchi’s house.

 

“I know, Tsukki, you’ve been complaining about it all the way home,” Yamaguchi deadpanned.

 

“Because I don’t get it!” Kei shouted. “You figured it out long before we got to sharing the same bed and kissing you! Even Tobio got it before then!”

 

“Did he?” Yamaguchi hummed. “I seem to recall a certain pair of morons making out in the locker room and then having a crisis because they didn’t know what to do with each other.”

 

“We didn’t _make out_ in the locker room, we-”

 

“You sure did something in there,” Yamaguchi interrupted. “Because that night you sent Tobio into an existential crisis and I had to pick up the pieces.”

 

“…Fine, you’re right,” Kei muttered, flopping onto Yamaguchi’s couch next to Kageyama.

 

“No,” Kageyama said slowly. “I don’t think he is. I think Hinata’s a bigger moron than me.”

 

“Tobio-”

 

“No, I’m serious,” Kageyama said. “I know I’m an idiot. But Hinata’s something else entirely.”

 

“My god, he’s become self-aware,” Kei droned. Kageyama elbowed him and he laughed. Yamaguchi looked at them with that sweet look on his face that said Kei was doing something adorable. Kei flushed and looked away.

 

“You have to be blunt with Hinata,” Yamaguchi said, coming to sit on Kageyama’s other side. “And anyway, we have other people to worry about, too.”

 

“Like whom?” Kei asked.

 

“Like Ennoshita-san and Tanaka-san. I want to date them too!” Yamaguchi stamped his foot and crossed his arms, exaggerating a pout.

 

“Then ask them out?” Kei said. “What’s stopping you?”

 

“They’re your boyfriends,” Yamaguchi said. “Why don’t you ask them for me?”

 

“That’s not how this works,” Kei said, reaching over Kageyama to flick Yamaguchi on the nose. “I made Tanaka ask me out himself, because I didn’t want to accept Ennoshita asking me out for him. If you want to date someone, you have to ask them yourself.”

 

“No fun,” Yamaguchi muttered. Kei smiled, swiveling on the couch so that his legs were draped across two laps. Yamaguchi wrapped his hands around Kei’s ankles, squeezing rhythmically. Kei closed his eyes and let himself drift away.

 

“What if we just asked him out?” Kageyama’s voice startled Kei out of his daydreams and he peeled his eyes open to stare at him. “What?”

 

“No, really, what if we did?” Yamaguchi asked. “I don’t see why we can’t.”

 

“Because,” Kei said, dropping his head against the armrest, “That’s not how I do things.”

 

“It is sometimes,” Yamaguchi pointed out. “It’s how you got Daichi to go out with you. Remember that? Way back before you had eight million partners?”

 

“I don’t have eight million partners, I only have…”

 

“You’re counting, aren’t you?” Yamaguchi asked. “If you have to stop to count, you have too many.”

 

“Then so do you,” Kei snapped, kicking Yamaguchi in the thigh. “You only have two less than me.”

 

“This is a sad commentary on our lives,” Yamaguchi laughed.

 

“Or a very good one,” Kageyama said. Yamaguchi smiled and threw his arms around Kageyama’s shoulders.

 

“Or a very good one,” he agreed. “Okay, it’s decided,” he said. “In the morning, we’ll ask Hinata out. For the good of the team.”

 

“Right,” Kei muttered, closing his eyes again. “What could possibly go wrong?”

 

“Tsukki, why do you have to say that?” Yamaguchi groaned. “Now everything’s gonna go wrong!”

 

“Not my fault the universe hates me,” Kei droned.

 

“I don’t hate you,” Kageyama said, in utter seriousness. Kei smiled.

 

“I don’t hate you either.”

 

-

 

Kazuhito had a plan, and it involved following Ennoshita and Tanaka home. It was hilarious, really, how long it took them to realize he hadn’t turned off at the normal intersection, still chatting away about the history teacher and his mustache. They were within sight of Tanaka’s house when Ennoshita stopped in his tracks and stared at Kazuhito.

 

“What?” Kazuhito asked.

 

“What are you doing?” Ennoshita returned. Kazuhito just grinned and looped his arm around Ennoshita’s, dragging him forward. Tanaka gave Ennoshita a confused look, but Kazuhito leaned around him to smile menacingly and Tanaka wisely remained silent.

 

He managed to keep them under his thumb all the way up until they were seated in Tanaka’s bedroom. Then Ennoshita’s anxiety got the better of all three of them.

 

“What’s up, Kazuhito?” he asked, an edge of worry threading through his voice. Kazuhito put a hand on top of his and gave him a soft smile.

 

“Relax, Chika,” he said, and Ennoshita’s cheek went red at the nickname. Tanaka looked at Kazuhito with wild eyes, like he knew what Kazuhito was about to say and wanted nothing more than to stop him from saying it. But the thing about loving someone was that sometimes it meant doing things they didn’t like. For their own good. “I wanted to talk to you two about something,” Kazuhito said.

 

“Is it a good something?” Ennoshita said warily. Kazuhito nodded, and Ennoshita relaxed somewhat. Tanaka’s guard slipped a bit in reaction, like if there was nothing for Ennoshita to worry about, there was nothing for Tanaka to worry about, either. Kazuhito’s smile eased into something more real.

 

“You should know, first and foremost, that I’ve talked to the others about this,” Kazuhito said. “Especially Tsukishima, but I made sure all the others were okay, too. So, this isn’t just me going off the rails. I’m a designated representative today.”

 

“Kazu, what are you talking about?” Ennoshita asked. He looked at Tanaka. “And what’s got you so quiet?” Tanaka shrugged, but remained silent.

 

“Ryuu,” Kazuhito said, and Tanaka’s eyes widened. “If this makes you uncomfortable, tell me.”

 

“Of course this makes me uncomfortable,” Tanaka said. “None of this is ever easy. Why is it never easy?”

 

“It can be,” Kazuhito said. “It’s as easy or as hard as you want to make it.”

 

“Will one of you tell me what’s going on?” Ennoshita snipped.

 

“Kazu is trying to rope us into his big happy family,” Tanaka said.

 

“Ryuu is making it impossible for me to just freaking kiss you,” Kazuhito said.

 

“Kazu!” Tanaka cried.

 

“Ryuu!” Kazuhito cried back in the same tone.

 

Ennoshita blinked at the two of them, then shook his head. “Well now that you mention it…” He trailed off. Kazuhito looked at him and licked his lips unconsciously. Tanaka reached across the table to punch him in the shoulder.

 

“That’s my boyfriend you’re oggling,” he said.

 

“He would be my boyfriend too, if you would just talk to me,” Kazuhito replied.

 

“Is that what you want?” Ennoshita asked before Tanaka could say anything. “Because it’s what I want. I mean, I want to join the rest of your relationship. I talked a little with Daichi-san about it, but I haven’t had a chance to talk to you, Ryuu. If I’m honest, I didn’t know how to bring it up.” Ennoshita laughed softly and rubbed at the back of his neck. Tanaka stared at him, then slowly swung his gaze to Kazuhito.

 

Kazuhito watched the change in his expression as he processed what Ennoshita was saying. The denial, the timid belief, the hope, the desire. Kazuhito watched it all, and found himself craving Tanaka even more than he had before. He licked his lips again, and Tanaka’s eyes darted down to follow the motion.

 

“Ryuu,” Kazuhito said, then glanced at Ennoshita for confirmation. He got a nod in return, so he turned back to Tanaka. “Ryuu, kiss me.”

 

“I can’t,” Tanaka said.

 

“Why not?” It was Ennoshita who asked. “You heard him say he’s talked to all his partners about it. You heard me say I wanted this too. What’s stopping you?”

 

“Chika,” Tanaka pleaded, and Ennoshita’s eyes cleared with understanding.

 

“Baby,” Ennoshita said, and shuffled around the table until he was sitting next to Tanaka. He wrapped his arms around Tanaka’s neck and hung his head on Tanaka’s shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m not afraid.”

 

“That’s a boldfaced lie,” Tanaka said. His hands were shaking, just ever so slightly, so Kazuhito put his own hand on top of them.

 

“It’s okay to be scared,” Kazuhito whispered. “But what you do in the face of that fear is what makes you who you are. And who you are is brave, Ryuu, braver than anyone I know. You’ve never let anything stop you from being who you really are, or getting what you really want. So why would you let it now?”

 

“Because there are other people involved now,” Tanaka said. He looked Kazuhito right in the eye, his gaze sharp as a knife. “Because mine isn’t the only heart that can get broken here. Can you guarantee me he won’t get hurt?”

 

“Ryuu, that’s not your decision to make,” Ennoshita said. “It’s not a guarantee anyone can give, but that’s okay with me.”

 

“How can it be?” Tanaka asked. “How can you agree to something like this, without even being scared of it first?”

 

“I _am_ scared of it,” Ennoshita said. “I’m more scared than I’ve ever been in my life. But you know what? I’m choosing this anyway. This is what I want, Ryuu. If it’s what you want, too. And I have a feeling it is.”

 

Tanaka looked at Ennoshita, and then back at Kazuhito. “Get over here,” he whispered. And Kazuhito did.

 

The brush of Tanaka’s lips was surprisingly timid. But it was everything to Kazuhito in that moment. Suns and moons were born and died in that kiss, galaxies expanded and waves crashed on the ocean shore. And when Tanaka pulled away with a shaky breath, Kazuhito was there to catch him at the bottom of his fall.

 

The next kiss was not so gentle. Emboldened by Kazuhito’s reassuring gaze, Tanaka leaned in and nipped at Kazuhito’s bottom lip, drawing it into his mouth and sucking on it. Kazuhito groaned, and Ennoshita groaned in response. Tanaka ripped himself away and fell onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

 

“I’m going to die,” he announced. “I’m going to die by hot boyfriend. Write on my gravestone ‘here lies Ryuunosuke, slain by the attractiveness of two high school boys’.”

 

“That won’t age well,” Ennoshita warned. Tanaka grinned up at him.

 

“No, but you will,” he said.

 

“Okay, sap,” Ennoshita laughed. He looked up at Kazuhito, still smiling. “It’s my turn now.”

 

Kazuhito licked his lips, and Ennoshita leaned forward with vicious intent in his eyes.

 

Kazuhito fell into him and he fell into Kazuhito, and the world was reborn again. Kazuhito wondered what it was about kissing that made him so poetic, but then Ennoshita was nervously licking at the seam of his lips and Kazuhito threw all thoughts that weren’t _take_ and _devour_ out the window. He wrapped his arms around Ennoshita’s waist and lowered them to the ground, crawling between his legs and latching onto his neck. He kissed his way up to the corner of Ennoshita’s jaw, listening to him whine and feeling him squirm beneath him.

 

This was what Kazuhito had only dreamed of, for over a year now. This was what Kinoshita had meant when he’d said great things were coming. This was what Kazuhito wanted out of life.

 

Only, he didn’t have the words to tell Ennoshita and Tanaka that. He couldn’t express to them the aching in his chest, bigger than a galaxy, all-consuming like a black hole, that longed to belong to them. So he kissed Ennoshita harder.

 

“Kazu,” Ennoshita gasped when Kazuhito pulled back for air. “What’s gotten into you?”

 

“You,” Kazuhito replied.

 

“Not yet he hasn’t,” Tanaka quipped, then immediately turned bright red.

 

“That’s a talk for another day,” Kazuhito said. “For now, let’s just settle this: will you two join the rest of us? Will you be our boyfriends?”

 

“You talked to Tsukishima about this?” Tanaka asked. Kazuhito nodded.

 

“Then I see no reason why not,” Ennoshita said. “Ryuu?”

 

“Are you sure this is what you want, Chika?” Tanaka asked. “Your mom…”

 

“My mom is my mom,” Ennoshita said. “She has no say over who I do and don’t date. As long as I’m not telling her about you or Tsukishima, what difference do a few more make?”

 

“Just to be sure, though, who all is involved in this?” Tanaka asked.

 

Kazuhito ticked them off on his fingers. “Me. Daichi. Kei. Tadashi. Koushi. Asahi. Tobio. I’m not actually sure if we’re dating Yachi or not? So I would count her out, just to be safe, and ask her out yourself if you want to date her.” He beamed at Tanaka, who stared at him with wide eyes.

 

“Hey,” Ennoshita said, shoving Kazuhito off of himself and sitting up. He wrapped an arm around Tanaka’s shoulders and held him close. “We don’t have to do this. I would be perfectly happy with just you and Tsukishima. Don’t think you have to make this choice just because of me.”

 

“But it’s what you want,” Tanaka whispered.

 

“But if it’s not what you want, then I don’t want it either,” Ennoshita said.

 

“We want you to be happy, Ryuu,” Kazuhito added, though there was swirling unease in his stomach, dread that solidified into a ball and weighed him down. “If dating the six of us is not what will make you happy, then we don’t want you to do it.”

 

“That’s the thing, though,” Tanaka said. “I’m not sure it will make any of us happy in the end. But I want it anyway.”

 

Ennoshita smiled. “So take the chance,” he said softly. “It’s just a leap of faith. I believe in you.”

 

“Okay,” Tanaka said, and he smiled up at Kazuhito, the kind of smile that made his stomach swoop. “Okay.”

 

-

 

Shouyou lay on his back staring up into the darkness of his room. It was half-past three in the morning and he had no idea what to do. So he did what he always did when his thoughts were too much and he needed a more level head to talk him down. He texted Kenma.

 

ME: [You know that jerk I’ve been telling you about??? Tsukishima???]

 

KENMA!!!: [yeah]

 

Shouyou bit his lip and considered his next words carefully.

 

ME: [I think I have a crush on him. I don’t know what to do!!!]

 

KENMA!!!: [ask him out]

 

KENMA!!!: [doesnt he have like three boyfriends]

 

ME: [Eight boyfriends and a girlfriend]

 

ME: [I can’t do that Kenma!!! What if he says no??? WHAT IF HE SAYS YES???????]

 

KENMA!!!: [if he says yes then date him if he says no then dont]

 

KENMA!!!: [and tell me if you need me to send koutarou to kick his ass]

 

Shouyou thought about it, really thought hard. He worked his way past the initial disgust and distrust of the thought. What would it be like to actually date Tsukishima? It might not have been the horrible thought he’d initially assumed it would.

 

Obviously there was something good about Tsukishima. If there wasn’t, nine people would not want to date him. But did that mean Shouyou wanted to, too? Or was he just caught up in the bandwagon appeal of someone that so many of his friends found desirable?

 

ME: [Thanks, Kenma, but don’t send Bokuto-san just yet!!!]

 

He fell into a fitful sleep. He dreamed of golden eyes and a slender hand in his hair.

 

He sighed and slipped into a more peaceful slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://notsuchasecret.tumblr.com/)


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